Traditional ideas of masculinity are dead, and now men struggle to find their place in the world. In Stories of Men, Alex Melia speaks to men who’ve overcome challenging circumstances to find out what they’ve learned about being a man in today’s world. Each guest shares a story from their life that has had a big impact on them. Alex Melia is a businessman and podcaster from Atherton, Greater Manchester. He has built a business which now employs over 30 people. Ten years in, and the company s ...
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The moment a man decided life was worth living again
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25:53Luke was at a party with his girlfriend surrounded by his closest friends. He was smiling and laughing and appeared to be having a great time. But, after this moment of celebration, it was his intention to say goodbye. Nobody else knew it but he wanted to take his life that same night. Before taking his life, Luke is driven to make a phone call to …
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How to confront violent people when they almost killed your father
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22:01Daniel Collins was a slight 18-year-old boy who was travelling around the country clamping cars. He hated the job but his father seemed to relish it. One day, they clamped the car of a man that showed up with confrontation in his mind. The man was with 14 of his friends and started to scream and shout. In a split second, the whole situation turned …
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William was 21 years old and working on a superyacht travelling from Malta to the Maldives. He was living a young man’s fantasy, the life he’d dreamed of since being a young boy. His shift had just come to an end when the shrill ringing of the fire alarm went off. Will’s first response was irritation at having to perform another drill; that was unt…
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When a dreaded hangover can have nasty effects you didn’t expect
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26:55Ross was the life and soul of the party. Working as a national radio presenter, he was able to hang out with the rich and famous at awards ceremonies and red carpet events. But he was hiding a secret: his struggle with social anxiety. For years Ross had attempted to deal with his anxiety by masking it with alcohol, but he knew that this was only go…
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Growing up without a father: what type of man do you become?
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21:40It was a day out with the family. Despite not knowing where they were going, Paul and his brother were extremely excited to be taken out by their relatives; they didn’t usually get taken out at all. Like two “coiled springs” they leaped out of the car as soon as it pulled up. Soon after they were bundled into a Victorian, stone building. They march…
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What we think about when we think about dying
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24:14He was lying in bed, restless, in a fever, struggling to catch his breath. He was shivering one moment and then attempting to kick off his duvet the next. He saw a woman coming through the door. She switched on the light. It made him feel confused, anxious. The expression on her face was grave. She told him that what she saw in front of her was a p…
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Don't ignore your body's signals - It might just save your life
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29:43Darren openly discusses the plethora of negative feelings that contributed to his emotional breakdown on his way to work. He was working in finance. It was an industry that had provided him with the good life. However, he knew that something deep down was not right. He had been drinking too much and struggling to sleep at night. All of this came to…
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You'll stop complaining about your life after you hear this man's story
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26:07The air was so chillingly cold that he could feel it in his bones. The billowing and the roaring around him was so loud that he was unable to hear. As he stood there waiting for the inevitable, his nerves prevented him from being able to speak. He had travelled thousands of miles for this moment and there was no question of turning back now. Isaac …
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How a man's excessive focus on work almost ruined his marriage
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22:20For David, the dream was just beginning. He and his wife were in their early 20s and had just moved from Canada to Switzerland to start a new adventure. At work, David was also having the time of his life. At the end of one of his first projects, he went to lunch with a client. The restaurant boasted breath-taking views and the client treated him t…
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The decision that still haunts this man 30 years later
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24:42It was Cup Final day against the school’s most fierce rivals. Andy was 12 years old and nervously waiting to hear if he would be included in the team. He looked to his dad watching from the sidelines, hoping his name would be announced. Finally, the team was revealed and Andy would be playing in defence. The game kicks off. In the first minute the …
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Do men thrive more living in the city or in the countryside?
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24:12When it comes to idyllic childhood’s one would be hard-pressed to think of a more harmonious one than James’. He was raised in Villefrance, a town in the Alps located along the French and Italian border. There he spent quality time with his father who taught him about the nurturing power of nature. It was with a sense of horror and disbelief that o…
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The high risk gambler that bet with his own life
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25:41Speeding along the motorway listening to music from his youth, Andy was reflecting on happier times. He was thinking about a holiday in Ibiza when he was 19 years old and hadn’t a care in the world. He’d been genuinely happy then. Now he felt angry, destructive. He saw nothing ahead of him except struggle and pain. He put his foot on the accelerato…
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The moment a soldier unexpectedly broke in tears
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24:46You’re a soldier driving through a warzone. You pass through a deserted village. Later you see a lonely crucifix in a field. You find out what it symbolises: one night all of the people in the village were dragged outside of their homes and executed. How do you react? Do you dare to show emotion? Do you dare to show compassion? Jed Irving was a man…
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This man's wallet hid a secret that almost ruined his friendships
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25:01It was his first summer holiday with the boys in Spain. Alan and his mates were bragging about all the money they’d brought with them for their two weeks in the sun. Yet, while his mates all seemed to be expressing genuine excitement, Alan felt anxious about the days to come. After the first night out, all of the lads returned in a drunken state. T…
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Staying in a job you hate for reasons you wouldn’t expect
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21:13After the previously independent company that he’d worked for had been bought up by a much larger one, Anuj had begun to lose his passion for his job. The one benefit that had remained was his team, who he thoroughly enjoyed working with. But even that would come under threat as Anuj was told that he needed to make two of them redundant. Anuj decid…
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The professor who applied this winning mindset to show that nothing is impossible
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23:28Jonathan was daydreaming while his chemistry professor was putting chalk to blackboard. He’d snuck his NME magazine into the lecture theatre and was reading about an upcoming gig: Alice in Chains, a world-famous band, were coming to perform in his city! The news got even more exciting; the band’s bassist would soon be leaving. This gave Jonathan a …
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The surprising secret to improving the relationship with your siblings
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23:00It was cup final day and Sumit and his brothers were dreaming of victory. They had all travelled to Kiev to watch Liverpool play the final match in Europe’s premier competition. All the brothers had to do was navigate their way past the burly, gun-toting security guards and find their seats. Once the brothers had entered the stadium, they were dism…
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The worst thing you can do if you're feeling depressed
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26:37*Content warning: This episode contains graphic details of suicide* George had been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while and he was beginning to lose hope that he would ever feel better again. He was living with his parents and had sworn both of them to secrecy about his current state of mind. But one evening his secret was revealed. …
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Are we as men battling a silent war with food?
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23:00It was as ordinary a situation as you could imagine: Steve and his girlfriend were in Subway purchasing a sandwich. Steve had decided to go for the healthiest option available: a sandwich which was under 3g in fat. He’d chosen roast chicken, no sauces, no cookies and a diet coke. But as Steve was eating the food in front of him, he began to get ner…
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Can men really let go of always wanting to control?
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22:21Adam is driving his teenage daughter to Oxford. During the 1-hour journey, a few meaningful looks are exchanged. He is trying to be strong, but he feels nervous about the future, nervous about the prospect of relinquishing control. Eventually they arrive in a leafy suburb and are directly outside of a large building. Adam knows that this is the pla…
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Mark was outside the door, his brother was locked in. The student apartment they were in was rat-infested and in complete disarray. All Mark’s brother had access to was 20 sausage rolls, a bottle of ketchup and a bucket. It was Mark who had access to the keys. His brother began by pleading with Mark to open the door. Then he started to threaten and…
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Want to own a business? You have to think this way
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21:35It was March 2020 and Brad had just received confirmation that his current business model had become unworkable. A lockdown had been ordered following the pandemic, and the vast quantities of money that had been flowing through Brad’s account were set to disappear overnight. Brad’s wife was in tears as she learned the news. But Brad knew that tears…
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Jimmy was sitting in the waiting room thinking carefully about the decision he was about to announce. He had risen to a point of great success in his career, he was literally operating in the corridors of power. He sat there thinking carefully about each word he was going to utter. Up to now, nothing had been announced, he could go back on his plan…
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I almost took my own life. What made me change my mind?
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21:06*Content warning: This episode contains graphic details of suicide* It was a perfect storm of events and emotions. Dan had recently lost his mother. He’d had a number of business ventures which had not worked out. He was also struggling with his mental health. As a result, he decided to take a walk along the quiet streets at night, hoping that no-o…
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What men need to understand about the harsh realities of moving to a new country
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21:39Valerio grew up in a small Italian province. He enjoyed his life and was comfortable in his surroundings. It was something of a shock to the system, then, when his dad got a job in London while Valerio was just 12 years old. Valerio found himself moving to a metropolis, where he didn’t speak the language and knew nothing of the culture. It was at h…
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