1000 years of people behaving badly.
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As we all know, if you were accused of a crime in the middle ages, or if you were in danger, and you ran to a nearby church, you could have sanctuary, and then you were safe. Well, this is true, more or less, but exactly what you needed to do, and how the whole thing worked, changed over time and across the continent. Michelle and Anne wanted to kn…
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106. Special Episode: Axlar-Björn Pétursson is Executed for Serial Murder, Snæfellsnes Peninsula, Iceland 1596
40:52
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40:52There's not a lot of murder in Iceland -- there was a disconcerting spike in the number of homicides last year, 8 altogether -- so, obviously, there aren't a lot of murderers. And none of the murderers of Iceland are serial killers. With one exception. In the last part of the 16th century, not long after Iceland had been forced to institute the dea…
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105. St. Adalbert of Prague is Martyred, Truso, Poland 997
38:11
38:11
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38:11Adalbert of Prague wanted very much to go Christianize the Prussians, but they were just not having it, so they hacked him up and cut his head off, and that is why he is a Saint, with an enormous number of churches around the globe dedicated to him. Anne spends time thinking about what was the snack that we are told Adalbert and his companions were…
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104. Special Episode: Abd Allah ibn Ali invites the Umayyades to a Banquet and Slaughters Them, Palestine 750
40:08
40:08
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40:08Usually our special episodes move out of our 1000 year time zone, but for this one we stay in the middle ages and move off of the European continent, to one of the incidents in the fall of the Umayyad caliphate and the rise of the Abbasid caliphate, a blood feast! We haven't had one of those for a while, and we were very excited, but then we did ou…
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103. Pino III Ordelaffi Poisons a Whole Lot of People, Forli, Northern Italy, 1463-1480
46:59
46:59
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46:59From the 12th century to Renaissance, the Ordelaffi family ruled the commune of Forli, in Northern Italy. On and off. Also, on and off again. When they weren't fighting others for the commune -- Florence, the Emperor, the Pope -- they were fighting each other, and in 1376, poison became a favorite weapon, when Sinibaldi I Ordelaffi poisoned first h…
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102. William de Burgh Starves his Cousin Walter to Death, Greencastle, Ulster 1332
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40:13William Donn de Burgh, the 3rd Earl of Ulster, was, alas, not so great at being the Earl of Ulster. Starving his cousin Walter Liath de Burgh to death led to Walter's sister Gylle (also of course a cousin of William's) getting her husband to have him murdered. And then, the whole succession problem -- there were several cousins wandering around, an…
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101. Defenestrations of Prague, Prague, Bohemia 1419, 1483, 1618
41:25
41:25
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41:25Humans have been throwing each other out of windows pretty much as long as humans have had windows more than one story or so off the ground, but only Prague is famous for them. Two of them actually led to wars, even. We are very happy to tell you about the famous defenestrations, wherin all sorts of officials got thrown out of windows, and Michelle…
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100. Retrospective: Our Favorites of the Past 100 Episodes
52:15
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52:15It's Episode 100! So we both went through the episodes we've published so far, to pick our favorites. Out of them, we picked three apiece, and then, as a grand winner, the one that turned up on both of our lists -- not the highest favorite of either of us, but pretty damn beloved. We explain why they all made the cut. And had a lot of fun, remember…
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99. Juliane de Fontevrault Tries to Kill Her Father (Henry I) With a Crossbow, Normandy 1110
42:13
42:13
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42:13It was unusual for medieval women to kill their fathers, and especially unusual for them to use crossbows to do it. Juliane de Fontrevault tried both, but she missed King Henry I, who was at the time besieging her castle in Normandy. There had been an altercation, you see, which led to a major hostage failure, wherein Juliane's husband Eustace blin…
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98. April Fool's Episode: Debunking the Chastity Belt
1:10:09
1:10:09
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1:10:09There were not, in the Middle Ages, any chastity belts. They did not exist. Really, they didn't. They show up later, when enlighted ages say that they were used in the Middle Ages. Then, enlightened ages invented them, and now you can buy them on Amazon. Michelle explains how we know they didn't exist, and how they got invented, and why the later a…
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97. Galeazzo Maria Sforza, the Duke of Milan, is Assassinated, Milan, Duchy of Milan 1476
33:03
33:03
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33:03Sometimes when our medieval rulers get assassinated we can see why, and that's the case for Galeazzo Maria Sforza, who was a very bad sort of person. So, not surprisingly, he got stabbed to death by conspirators. Two of them were out for personal gain, but one was a poet who was, he believed, serving the greater communal good, which charms Anne. We…
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96. Leszek the White, High Duke of Poland, is Assassinated, Morcinkowo, Poland 1227
59:30
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59:30During the Fragmentation of Poland, which lasted from 1138 to 1320, Leszek Bialy -- Leszek the White -- managed to reign as the High Duke of Poland four times, the last reign going on for 16 years before it ended, on account of his having been assassinated. That's a long reign, during the age of fragmentation, when the realm was, well, fragmented, …
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95. Henry d'Almain is Murdered, Viterbo, Italy 1271
40:52
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40:52Henry d'Almain didn't really want to fight in the Second Barons' War, because the leaders of the two sides were both his uncles, and when his uncle Simon de Montfort was killed and mutilated in the last battle, he wasn't part of that, so it was really unseemly for his cousins, the sons of Simon de Montfort, to find him in a church in Italy and slau…
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94. Maddelena, a Circassian, is Bought in Crimea and Sold in Italy, Venice, Italy c. 1428
41:38
41:38
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41:38We thought it would be interesting to talk about the Crimean Slave Trade, but we had not known that would, essentially, cover all of written history and all of the Old World. But it was on the schedule, and we found it interesting. So! We'll start with the mother of Carlo de Medici, Maddelena, who was captured in or sold from Circassia (it's over o…
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93. Michael Servetus is Murdered, Geneva, Republic of Geneva 1553
51:35
51:35
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51:35Michael Servetus was one of those brilliant people who can be a bit annoying. He read and/or spoke Spanish and French and Hebrew and Latin and Arabic and Greek and who knows what all. He studied and/or wrote books on theology, medicine, mathematics, law, and some other stuff. He wrote poetry. He had a bunch of degrees. But he had to leave the Studi…
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92. Special Episode: The New Guys Celebrate Christmas, Plymouth (Massachusetts), December 25, 1621
48:16
48:16
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48:16On the second Christmas that the Pilgrims spent in Plymouth (the first had been spent cutting down trees and building houses), the governor of the colony, William Bradford, gathered the men together so that they could all go do the Lord's work (which was probably cutting down trees and building houses). Some of the colonists were newly arrived, and…
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91. Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck Pretend to be Kings, England 1487 and 1491
1:00:55
1:00:55
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1:00:55So, there were those two boys in the Tower of London, Edward V, King of England, who was 12, and Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York, who was 9, and they disappeared one summer after their uncle Richard declared them illegitimate and became King Richard III. And it was a total mystery as to what happened to them, and still is, and Richard III was n…
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90. The Jacquerie Smashes Property, France 1358
48:55
48:55
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48:55In the summer of 1358, French peasants took up arms -- this means mostly sticks -- and attacked the nobility. They did indeed murder some of them, but mostly, almost entirely, the burnt down property. They didn't even loot. They just destroyed stuff. The nobility had gotten problematic, certainly, what with running away from important battles and t…
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89. Vasvilkas, Grand Duke of Lithuania, is Assassinated, Volodymyr, Ukraine 1267
35:56
35:56
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35:56Vasvilkas, the Grand Duke of Lithuania, got assassinated for a reason that Michelle considers the stupidest assassination reason the podcast has seen so far, that being that when Vasvilkas, the Monk Prince, decided to give up the throne so he could go back to being a monk, he gave it to a brother in law, and another brother in law thought that Vasv…
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88. St. Scholastica Riot, Oxford England, February 10, 1355
42:42
42:42
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42:42Sometimes students riot, maybe because of tuition hikes, or because a coach got fired for a sex abuse scandal, or because their team won a game, or because their team lost a game, or because the university became integrated, or because the government is moving into authoritarianism, or because the government already was authoritarian but is getting…
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87. King Philip Augustus Fakes a Genealogy, Paris, France 1194
43:41
43:41
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43:41Philip, the King of France, married Ingeborg of Denmark, and it would have been a really great political alliance, except that after the wedding night Philip wanted out. So he asked the pope to annul the marriage, saying that it hadn't been consummated, on account of witchcraft, and he sent Ingeborg to a convent. But Ingeborg said the marriage HAD …
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86. Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor, Does Various Bad Things, Germany, Italy, and Sicily, 1169-1197
55:30
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55:30Sandwiched between two legendary Holy Roman Emperors -- his father, Frederick Barbarossa, and his son, Frederick II -- Henry VI, who was not legendary, and who died at the age of 31 (his dad died at 67 and his son at 55; lots more time to rack up legendary activities), nevertheless managed to acquire a nickname -- "The Cruel" -- in large part becau…
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85. Eorpwald of East Anglia is Murdered, East Anglia c. 627
1:12:19
1:12:19
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1:12:19Eorpwald, the ruler of East Anglia c 624, after his father died, converted to Christianity because Edwin, the Deorian king, converted to Christianity, and managed to connect pretty much the entire eastern coastal kingdoms of England. So that lasted a few years, but then he got assassinated, on account of having converted to Christianity, and East A…
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84. Melisende, Frankish Queen of Jerusalem, is Falsely Accused of Adultery, Jerusalem 1134
48:36
48:36
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48:36In 1134, Melisende, the Queen of Jerusalem, who had, as a child, been raised to be the Queen of Jerusalem all by herself, was sharing the throne with Fulk, her husband, who did not like sharing. So he tried to get rid of her, by accusing her of adultery with her cousin Hugh of Jaffa, which was not a thing that was actually happening. And when Hugh …
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83. Hugh de Lacy is Assassinated, Durrow, Ireland 1186
44:16
44:16
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44:16Hugh de Lacy, one of the Anglo-Normans who was sent to bring order to Ireland (where the Anglo-Normans were having a lot of trouble), was inspecting the military installation he was having built at Durrow (where St. Columba had previously built a monastery), when he was murdered by one of the Irish who wanted him dead, by being hit on the head with…
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82. Arthur of Brittany Disappears, Rouen, France c. 1203
43:14
43:14
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43:14In 1199, when Richard the Lionheart died, there were two possible claimants to the throne of England -- his younger brother John, and his nephew Arthur. John was a bit over 30 years old; Arthur was about 12. John, the youngest surviving son of Henry II, was by Norman law the rightful heir. Arthur, the eldest son of Geoffrey, John's older brother, w…
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81. Johannes Ryneken is Executed for Adulterating Saffron, Nuremberg Germany, 1444
42:05
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42:05By the 15th century, Nuremberg was making a reputation and a lot of money out of being the main saffron import location in Europe. So the town burgesses took it very seriously when spice merchants sold saffron that wasn't fully saffron, but had various other things added to it. Very seriously indeed. So seriously that it was possible to be, as John…
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80. William de Marisco is Executed for Treason, London England 1242
42:13
42:13
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42:13The de Mariscos were a family that continually got into trouble, on account of continually misbehaving. When William de Marisco was executed at the Tower of London in 1242, it was ostensibly for attempting to have the king murdered, but since he'd also been pirating from the Isle of Lundy, and murdering messengers, he was going to end up being exec…
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79. Snorri Sturluson Is Assassinated, Reykholt, Iceland 1241
1:01:21
1:01:21
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1:01:21Snorri Sturluson, the great Icelandic poet and historian and lawspeaker of the Althing, got involved in Norwegian/Icelandic politics, and it ended very badly. For him, for one thing, as the king of Norway arranged for 70 men to stab Snorri in his basement, and for Iceland, which devolved into chieftain battles and eventually unified with Norway and…
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78. Special Episode: April Fool's Debunking of the Myth of the Medieval Shame Flute
41:33
41:33
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41:33If you go and peruse the internet, you will discover many discussions of the medieval shame flute, an instrument created specifically to be fastened to a bad musician, in order to shame him. There are pictures. There is a lot of certainty about this. Alas, it wasn't there. Michelle went to find them, and, though there are a couple of torture museum…
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77. Diarmait Mac Murchada Invites the Anglo-Normans into Ireland, Leinster, Ireland 1167
58:36
58:36
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58:36At the end of the 12th century, the kings of Ireland had been fighting amongst themselves, and the high king got involved, and what with one thing and another Diarmait Mac Murchada, who had been the king of Leinster, and then had been ousted, and then had gotten in again, got ousted again, and then had the very bad idea of getting help from the Ang…
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76. Special Episode: Richard Walweyn Wears Padded Pants, London, England 1565
45:16
45:16
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45:16One day in London in 1565, Richard Walweyn was arrested for wearing the wrong pants, and put in jail until he could prove he owned some proper ones. And why were these the wrong pants? Cause they were puffed out, and he was a servant. Makes no sense, right? Nah. But in times of unease, people like to try to get everybody to wear the right clothes, …
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75. Crime Rise in the Great Famine, Europe 1315-1322
1:41:39
1:41:39
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1:41:39In 1315, the crops throughout Europe failed. And then they failed the year after that. And then the year after that. It was raining. And it rained and rained and rained. After that , it rained some more. One of the greatest natural disasters of the middle ages was the Great Famine, in which so many people of Europe died that the population didn't r…
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74. Dafydd Gam ap Llewelyn ap Hywel kills his kinsman Richard Fawr ap Dafydd, Brecon High Street, Wales late 14th Century
45:10
45:10
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45:10Before Davy Gam got famous amongst the English for helping out at Agincourt and getting knighted, and being in general an acceptable Welshman on account of helping out the English and fighting Welshmen, he had killed a kinsman in Brecon, had fought under John of Gaunt, and had fought against Owain Glyndŵr, the leader of the last great Welsh rebelli…
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73. Special Holiday Edition: The Cursed Carolers, Saxony 10th Century
48:48
48:48
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48:48Once upon a time, a group of parishioners in a village in Saxony danced in the churchyard during Christmas Mass, and so the priest cursed them and then they danced without ceasing for a year. This story was told, with variations, throughout Europe, from the 10th century (at least) through the 16th century. And! It really happened! Ok, not the danci…
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72. The Jews of York are Massacred, York, England 1190
37:12
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37:12A wave of anti-Semitism and atrocities against the Jews swept England starting in 1189, when Richard Lionheart was crowned, and mobs in London attacked the Jews in that city. The worst of the atrocities happened in York, when the local mobs burnt and pillaged Jewish homes; when the Jews retreated to the castle keep (they were, theoretically and leg…
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71.Special Episode: Guy Fawkes Attempts to Blow Up King James and Parliament, London, England November 5, 1605
52:56
52:56
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52:56Special Episode! It's the third birthday of True Crime Medieval, but, more importantly really, it's the 417th anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot not actually coming off; if it had, not only King James and all of Parliament would have been destroyed, but also several blocks around, including Westminster Abbey. We discuss the Plot, why it didn't work,…
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70.King Alboin is Murdered, Verona, Italy 572
43:28
43:28
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43:28King Alboin was a very successful king of the Lombards, and conquered the Gepids, and took Rosamund, the daughter of the king of the Gepids, as his wife, and everything was great, but then Rosamund murdered him, with the help of her lover. She was probably not very happy about the marriage, since she was still mourning the deaths of her father and …
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69. King Olaf Kills Klerkon in the Market Place, Novgorod, Russia 10th Century.
57:00
57:00
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57:00Blanca, the rescue Goffin's Cockatoo, is a guest cohost on this episode, about that time that Olaf, before he was king of anything, whacked Klerkon, the viking who had enslaved him when he was a toddler. We discuss the Kyivan Rus, Novgorod, Vikings, blood money, the sagas, and, to Anne's surprise, Longfellow. Blanca the Cockatoo has a lot to say. W…
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Llewelyn the Great Hangs William de Braose, Aber Garth Celyn , Wales May 2, 1230
50:06
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50:06So, one day in 1230, William de Braose was over at Llewelyn the Great's castle, and he was found in Llewelyn's private chambers with Joan, who was Llewelyn's wife. As well as the daughter of the King of England. Now, according to Welsh law, Llewelyn would then have been in his rights to beat William up, but instead, there was a trial, and William e…
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67. Peter von Hagenbach is Convicted of War Crimes, Breisach, Germany 1474
41:56
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41:56Laws regulating war crimes have existed since ancient times, and trials of people who have committed them have existed as well; the trial of Peter von Hagenbach wasn't unusual for being a trial to judge whether he has violated laws of war when he was holding down Breisach for Charles the Bold; it was unusual because it was an international trial, a…
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66. Henry of Trastámara Massacres the Jews of Toledo, Toledo Spain, 1355
42:11
42:11
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42:11Henry of Trastámara, of Henry of Castile, the Fratricidal, was not as friendly with the Jews of Spain as his half-brother, Pedro the Cruel, or Pedro the Just (depending on your interpretation of him) had been. He's "The Fratricidal," by the way, because he murdered his half-brother Pedro the Cruel or Just. Henry wasn't yet king in 1355 -- that is, …
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65. King Lambert is Assassinated (or not), Marengo, Italy 898
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46:05After a short (he was 18) but eventful and busy life, Lambert, King of Italy and Holy Roman Emperor, was assassinated during a boar hunt. That's one rumor. The other rumor is that he fell off his horse and died. Evidence? Witnesses? Nah, not really. But we both have an opinion on this, which is that a story that has a king sleeping on the ground du…
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64. Jeanne de Clisson takes up piracy, Brittany 1343
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38:00In 1343, Olivier de Clisson, who had backed the wrong candidate for the then empty Duke of Brittany position, as far as the king of France was concerned, was invited to a tournament, and then seized and executed for treason without a trial. This greatly angered his wife, Jeanne, so she gathered a troupe of men and harassed the French, becoming quit…
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63. The Children of Hamelin Disappear, Hamelin, Lower Saxony, 1284
33:58
33:58
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33:58In 1284, the children of Hamelin disappeared. Unless you translate the Latin differently, and they all died. Over the centuries, the story of what happened to them would get more and more intricate. Was there a Pied Piper involved? Probably not, though there may have been a musician. Were there rats? Nah. They don't show up in the stories for a few…
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62. Leopold of Austria Kidnaps Richard the Lionheart, Near Vienna, Austria 1192
59:06
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59:06Capturing an enemy and holding them for ransom, in the middle ages, wasn't necessarily a crime. However, kidnapping a fellow crusader was not ok, since the pope has said that all the crusaders were supposed to treat each other well (by not capturing their lands and goods while they were off fighting, or kidnapping them and holding them for ransom),…
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61. King John Starves Maud and William de Braose to Death, Corfe Castle, Dorset, England 1210
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1:00:06In 1210, King John of England left Maud de Braose and her son William in Corfe Castle and let them starve to death, either because Maud had been shirty with one of his messengers, or because John owed William money and didn't want to pay it back, or because, well, who knows. John was like that. Maud, on the other hand, had, before getting thrown in…
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60. Jacques le Gris Rapes Marguerite de Carrouges, Normandy, January 1386
54:49
54:49
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54:49In 1386, Marguerite de Carrouges accused Jacques le Gris of having raped her, and though the French Parliament could not come to an agreement as to whether or not le Gris was guilty, we know that he was, because Marguerite's husband Jean killed le Gris in a trial by combat, so that's settled. Although le Gris' descendants would keep trying to convi…
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59. Bran Ardchenn, King of Leinster, and his wife Eithne are Assassinated, Cell Cúile Duma, Ireland May 6, 795
49:12
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49:12The Irish Annals are full -- full, we tell you -- of detailed histories of the kings of Ireland. Only mostly the details are their names, how long they ruled, and how they died. Though Bran Ardchenn and Eithne were burned to death in a church, we don't know more than that. In this episode, we discuss early Irish history, the Book of Leinster, and A…
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58. The Pazzi Conspiracy, Florence, Italy, Easter 1478
43:51
43:51
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43:51In 1478, in Florence, the banking family of the Medici was very powerful. Very powerful indeed. But another banking family, the Pazzi, were not happy with this. No, no! They wanted to be more powerful in Florence than the Medici were! So they created A Plan. Well, a few plans, really, but finally one of the plans was carried out, which was to kill …
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