Stepping Off Now is a podcast about how to live your creative best life. I’m Kendra, a social scientist and writer. I spent decades feeling creatively unfulfilled while I pursued conventional life goals, culminating in severe burnout that took years to recover from. This podcast chronicles my journey in real time as I find my way home to my essential creative self. I discuss topics like harnessing the intuitive creative process, using creativity to manage mental health, and sorting through a ...
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Delightful Dissent is a live-recorded oddcast about challenging assumptions. You can find upcoming episode livestreams, and past recordings, at https://www.matthewbellringer.com/delightful-dissent.
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E168. Not Letting the Big Picture Sabotage Your Creativity
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30:37Managing a large creative project that must be done in stages and with attention to what seems like a million intertwined details is a skill that must be learned through trial and error. Most projects are in the "ugly" stage until they are very near completion, and this can be frustrating and confusing when you have a grand vision of what you are t…
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E167. Interview Episode! Featuring Kristin Kisska, Author of The Hint of Light
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1:08:23Note: my microphone wasn't working properly for the interview portion of this episode; I apologize for the less-than-ideal sound quality of my parts. At last the long-awaited first installment of my author interview series! KRISTIN KISSKA used to be a finance geek, complete with her MBA and Wall Street pedigree, but now she is a self-proclaimed #Su…
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E166. Maintaining Motivation for Creative Work in Challenging Seasons
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22:40Here in Florida our challenging season is summer--it's both broiling hot and rainy. My backyard turns into a literal swamp. It can be hard to maintain motivation for our creative work when the weather and climate are so uncomfortable. Maybe in your area it's winter that's the challenging season. If you struggle to keep up your momentum during these…
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E165. How Doing Art Constitutes Resistance
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27:51As I contemplate ways I can resist against the forces of chaos and cruelty holding sway in society, I am sometimes dismayed by my own limits. But I am not utterly powerless. In this episode I discuss the many ways in which doing art can be a form of resistance. Dina Brodsky's Instagram Athena Scalzi's blog post…
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E164. Is the Ability to Make Choices More Important to Art than Creativity?
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20:43Beyond passion, skill, and commitment, there is another quality that defines what it is to be an artist: the ability to make choices in your art and follow through on them. In this episode I contemplate how being stuck in art (and life) is often more the result of a fear of making wrong choices than a lack of inspiration. It can help to shift our m…
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I've long thought that talent is the least important ingredient in artistic success (however you define that). The further I get in my writing career, the less it seems to matter whether I have any "natural" talent. What matters is consistent and sustained effort over time. In this episode I contemplate whether talent is what we think it is, and pr…
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E162. Creative Practice and the Artist's Illusion
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33:06In which I share my thoughts on how creative practice helps us handle the often difficult conditions of the artist's life: how long and hard we have to work to establish ourselves, the mental health struggles many of us face, and the competition inherent in a glutted market.By Kendra Patterson
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E161. What Taking on a Second Creative Practice Has Taught Me (+ Some Thoughts on Disruption)
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26:35I recently added a second creative practice to my roster of creative activities: watercolor painting. While I definitely felt ready for this big step, it has nonetheless served as a disruption in my life and to my understanding of the role of creativity in my life. In this episode I contemplate the value of disruption and how both planned and unpla…
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E160. Learning to Use Conceptual Tools as an Intuitive Creative: Is It Possible?
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34:52Creatives and artists can be roughly divided into two types: intuitive and conceptual. Many do successfully combine both styles, but I have never been able to. I am a strongly intuitive writer and have historically failed at incorporating conceptual tools, like outlining and plotting, into my practice. As part of my journey toward being a published…
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E159. What Role Do Artists Play in Society? It May Not Be What You Think
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26:21As the wheel of history lurches forward I've been thinking about what role I play in society as an artist. What do I contribute? How can I make a positive difference? Typically this kind of discussion focuses on the artist's art, but I've taken a different view. I want to know what role artists themselves play, separate from their art. In this epis…
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E158. Interview Episode! What Health Looks Like Through the Lens of Creative Practice
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1:01:56In a twist on a classic interview episode, in this one friend of the pod Ann Wainscott returns to interview someone herself! Links from this episode: Switched on Pop's Madonna episode No.1, No.2, and No.3 Daniel Mason's novel North WoodsBy Kendra Patterson
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E157. Finding Psychological Safety in a Tumultuous World as a Sensitive Creative
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30:04When you are a highly sensitive gentle soul, the chaos and cruelty of the world can feel unbearable at times. How are we to protect ourselves while still engaging? In this episode I discuss this in light of my own thoughts on the recent US election results. My sister's Instagram account (jillpattersoncycling) The poem Desiderata…
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E156. How I Learned to Take Myself Less Seriously...and More Seriously
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25:54Have you ever been told you take yourself too seriously? I heard this all the time growing up. And it was both right...and wrong. In this episode I discuss how I held myself back from reaching for my creative dreams both by taking myself too seriously and not seriously enough. Sound confusing? Well, give it a listen! Here is the Instagram reel that…
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E155. Why You Really Really REALLY Shouldn't Listen to Advice (*With Some Exceptions)
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49:49I wasted years of my life following other people's advice about how I should be writing novels and developing my creative practice, and it mostly failed me. So finally I decided to chuck it all out the window, go against the grain, and listen to myself. In this episode I discuss why we mostly shouldn't listen to anyone else and instead expend time …
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E154. Does Structure Constrain or Free Us?
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30:51I am using my current project, novel #2, to master plot, my weakest area as a writer. In the past, I've been ambivalent and even felt antipathy toward applying commercial and Western-style plot structures to my novels, because I felt they constrained my art. So what's changed? In this episode I discuss my evolving views on structure in life and art…
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E153. Preliminary Thoughts on Being a Neurodivergent Creative
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33:48In this episode I discuss my recent diagnosis of being neurodivergent, including why I pursued a formal diagnosis, what it entails, and its relationship to creativity and my art.By Kendra Patterson
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E152. Are the Things We Suck At Actually Special Talents in Disguise?
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24:44With novel #1 winding its way toward publication (hopefully), I have officially begun work on novel #2...and I've realized I will have to approach writing it in an entirely different way. Not only that, I'm going to have to use a technique I have utterly failed at in the past: preplanning the plot. Simply put, I suck at plot. It was the last thing …
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E151. When All You Have Is a Drum... Play
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20:35I'm not really sure how to summarize this episode, y'all...but you'll want to listen! Contact meBy Kendra Patterson
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E150. The OG Society Thought Experiment: Why and How We Share Our Art
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26:16Sometimes it can be difficult to see how our own societies and cultures influence us. I have this trick I use to help reveal some of those hidden influences that I call the OG Society Thought Experiment. I imagine how a small pre-capitalist "original society" would have functioned and compare that to my modern capitalist society. Today I use this t…
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E149. Are Big Dreams Bad for Us? Learning to Not Miss the Stars
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22:08In this episode I take stock of where I am in my creative journey as I contemplate what lies beyond the dreams we hold for ourselves. Are dreams holding us back? Do they ultimately make our lives less happy and satisfying? W.H. Auden's poem, The More Loving One Contact meBy Kendra Patterson
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E148. Looking for Your Lights in the Dark
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30:33Notice: The Kishōtenketsu Workshop I am doing with Andy Mort is coming up next week! You can find more info and sign up a this link. In this episode I discuss two women I've learned about recently who are lights in the dark for me. They inspire me to keep going through tough times, and to not lose hope. Table tennis phenom Zhiying Zeng, who is maki…
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E147. In Search of Continuities in Our Artistic Identity
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33:12I recently discovered a notebook filled with poetry I wrote thirty (!) years ago, and in one fell swoop it reconfigured my understanding of myself as an artist. In this episode I contemplate the threads that define who we are as artists that weave their way through our lifelong body of work (creative or otherwise). And I read one of those thirty-ye…
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E146. In Which I Read My Short Story "The Trash House"
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42:28In summer I like to mix it up on this podcast, so I decided to share some of my short stories. "The Trash House" is a women-centered retooling of the Japanese Kitsune (fox) folklore. Enjoy!By Kendra Patterson
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E145. Re-Envisioning the Creative Journey through the Kishotenketsu Lens
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36:02Last episode I discussed the "conflict free" Japanese Kishotenketsu storytelling framework as a gentler alternative to the Western-style Hero's Journey. In this one I contrast the two as lenses through which we can interpret our creative lives. The Hero's Journey, though it may make for compelling entertainment, can be toxic when used as a way of u…
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E144. Special Release: The Calming Effects of Kishotenketsu Narrative Structure
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38:56
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38:56I'm dealing with some personal life stuff right now and so dug into my Patreon archive for an episode for you all today! In this one I discuss the Japanese (and more broadly Asian) narrative structure called Kishotenketsu. This is generally seen as being a low-conflict or even conflict-free form of narrative, and it's a balm to the soul for those o…
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E143: The Writing Conference and Live Pitching Experience
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36:09Last week I made the trek down to Tampa to attend a writer's conference and live pitch my novel to two agents! This type of experience can be overwhelming for creatives who are highly sensitive or have other types of sensory processing conditions--or for those who struggle with anxiety and/or mental health challenges. In this episode I discuss all …
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E142. Handling Rejection Sensitivity for Neurodiverse and Highly Sensitive Creatives
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1:01:01Rejection sensitivity is one of the primary challenges neurodiverse and highly sensitive creatives face in reaching for their dreams. It can cause us to isolate, not seek out opportunities to share or showcase our work, or even keep us from doing creative work in the first place. If we do put ourselves out there, we risk severe mental health conseq…
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E141. Following What's Alive in Your Creative Work
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34:25This episode begins with an update on my preparations for the writers' conference I'm attending in Tampa on April 12. You can skip ahead to the 10:36 mark for the topical discussion. We're often counseled to follow our own vision or intuition in our creative work, but what does that actually look like in practice? How do you do it? In this episode …
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E140. Update Episode! Plans for Pitching My Novel
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28:29At loooooooong last, I am (nearly! almost!) ready to start querying my novel to agents, so I decided it was the right time to do an update episode on where things stand and my plans going forward. I touch on topics such as what it feels like to be done, preparing for querying, and finding opportunities for professionalization as a prospective autho…
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E139. Ordinary vs. Extraordinary Times in the Creative Process
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25:39Most timelines of the creative process depict it as linear and progressive, an "up and to the right" trajectory (like on a graph). But what I am finding in the final stretch of writing my novel, though, that this phase is entirely different from every part of the process that came before. Nothing about how I'm working as I struggle toward that fini…
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E138. Recognizing and Recovering from a Creativity Injury
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33:38My sister is a competitive cyclist, and we enjoy discussing the similarities between athletic practice and creative practice. The other day she was telling me about how she and the cyclists she coaches recognize, treat, and recover from physical injuries. It made me wonder: can creatives and artists suffer from injuries, too? If so, how do we recog…
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E137. Good vs. Bad Discomfort in Creative Practice and Life
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24:10I credit my creative practice with helping me recover from my life-altering burnout at the end of my PhD. I've maintained from the beginning (and often talked about in this podcast) that creative work should feel good most of the time. For many years I've been gentle and compassionate with myself in both my creative practice and life, never pushing…
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Have you ever noticed that successful artists' backstories often sound like destined paths or hero's journeys? Learning how to tell your own mythologized origin story is an essential tool for any artist. Listen to this episode to find out why and how to do it. I am indebted to the podcast episode Infamous: Taylor Swift Before She Was Famous Part I …
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E135. Magical Thinking in the Creative Life: Use and Misuse
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28:41I am a lifelong magical thinker, but in recent years have rejected it in favor of a more realistic (read: pessimistic/cynical haha) perspective. This holiday season, though, I have decided that I will once again let myself believe in magic. But am I ready to indulge in magical thinking in a responsible way? To find out, I compare my magical thinkin…
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E134. Celebrating Not Accomplishing Goals
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33:32There's no question that setting and achieving goals is beneficial...right? But what about when it's not? Creativity requires us to become adept at allowing ourselves to be swept off course. In this episode I discuss why we struggle so much to deviate from plan, why this can harm our creative process, and why we may want to consider taking radical …
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E133. Connecting With Your Greater Purpose for Your Art
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26:29In these final difficult months of getting my novel ready for agent submissions, thinking about my art's greater purpose is serving as an important motivator. In this episode I discuss why I think it's best to save contemplating your art's greater purpose for the later stages of creation, how to know if you even need a greater purpose for your art,…
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E132. Maintaining a Creative Practice Under Conditions of High Stress
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28:42When life gets messy, it's tempting to put our creative work aside until we have the space and energy for inspiration again. But this is no good if you are trying to finish a project or if you are dedicated to maintaining a serious creative practice as an artist or a mental health practice. In this episode I talk about what I learned from a recent …
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Sorry for the lateness of this episode, I'm dealing with some very noisy construction at my house that is interfering with my recording schedule. In this episode I provide a brief update on my novel polishing and throw out some thoughts I have on what artistic voice is and how to develop it.By Kendra Patterson
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What happens when someone who hates deadlines decides to try one out? Listen to hear all about my recent experience of setting a deadline for myself to finish my novel. Spoiler: I hit it! In this episode I talk about why I'm usually against deadlines, when they are useful, how to know if you are ready to take the next step in your project and set a…
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E129. How Not to Get Stuck in the Doldrums of Almost Done
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46:14Why is it that after all the work you've put into your creative project you hit your biggest resistance when you can finally see the finish line? This is what happened to me this summer when I was trying to finish my novel (which will be done next week!!!). Turns out this is totally normal, and in this episode I talk about why this happens and how …
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E128. (Final) Summer Updates + Upcoming Programming
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18:31This is my final update on this strange summer that was full of change, growth, and pure panic, if I'm honest! I'll be returning to my regular type of programming in a couple weeks, and in this episode I give you a taste of the episodes topics I'm planning. They are all based on my experiences this summer tackling draft 10 of my novel, The Gentle H…
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E127. Summer Updates + Creative Breakthrough
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21:22I finally have some excellent news to share! I've had a creative breakthrough on my novel and am on track to finish it by mid-September. In this episode I share what led to the breakthrough, what it feels like, and my tentative plans for when I'm done.By Kendra Patterson
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E126. Summer Updates + Redefining My Creative Identity
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33:57This is a grab bag of an episode in which I tell a long and rambling story about what getting my house tented for drywood termites has to do with the Empire State Building, share my thoughts on what I've learned about creative process as I've worked through my writer's block, give two examples of how I've humbled myself to art recently, and declare…
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E125. Summer Updates + Thoughts on Humbling Yourself to Art
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21:12In which I talk about how I'm working through my current writer's block and the importance of surrendering to the ebb and flow of creativity. Here is the newsletter by Nick Cave that I discuss in this episode.By Kendra Patterson
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In which I discuss some recent developments in my life and the steps I am taking to deal with the circumstances.By Kendra Patterson
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Many creatives and artists have a bit of the lone wolf in them. But generally speaking, being a lone wolf is looked down on in society. In this episode I mount a defense of this personality type and discuss some of the things that make lone wolves awesome human beings worthy of understanding, love, and admiration.…
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E122. Three Kinds of Creative Boredom and How to Handle Them
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34:41What do you do when you lose steam with your creative projects or practice? Nothing will block you faster than feeling bored with your work. When your inspiration and motivation go missing, though, there are some simple remedies that can get you back on track. In this episode I discuss the three levels of creative boredom, how to recognize them, an…
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I've never been able to figure out if I'm a highly ambitious person or not ambitious enough. What I've settled on is that while my culture tells me I should be ambitious, at heart I'm just not. When I start getting ambitious about my work, my stress levels rise and my burnout is triggered again. In this episode I discuss ambition in reference to cr…
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E120. Embracing Messy Art in the Age of AI
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23:37Will AI-created art change the way we view art and our relationship with it as consumers and creators? I contemplate this question in light of Frank Ocean's ostensibly disastrous but possibly brilliant performance at Coachella this year and the viral hit song featuring Drake and the Weeknd that turned out to be fake. My Instagram Article on Frank O…
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E119. Using Interruption Constructively in Life and Your Creative Practice
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22:53Following your intuition when you are being nudged off course is a vital creative skill, but many of us are held hostage by plans and struggle to accept interruptions as positive. We feel derailed and like we're losing control. But creativity requires interruption, because it opens space for something new and unexpected to arise. In this episode I …
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