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If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

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Weekly
 
Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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FanFyte

Fanbyte Media

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Monthly
 
Each week, Danielle — the MMA fan and amateur grappler — brings an MMA fight to the table to discuss, and LB —the pro wrestling expert — brings a show-stopping match. Think of it as a beautiful exchange between fans of two violent, beautiful art forms. Or the Predator handshake meme, made hilariously literal.
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Get Played

Headgum

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Comedians and Video Game enthusiasts Heather Anne Campbell, Nick Wiger and Matt Apodaca discuss all things gaming. Join them as they joke about the games they're playing, have played, and will play someday. Good games and bad games: It's time to Get Played!
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Gimmick Month crashes into its shocking and climactic conclusion, as Niki runs merritt and John through a gauntlet of challenges designed to determine just who on this show is the whitest. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality,…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk more about Donkey Kong Bananza, Ninja Gaiden: Ragebound and the Drifter and take a look at Nintendo Switch Online's latest retro offering, Mario Paint. They talk about using mouse mode on the Switch 2, making songs in the game, and more. Get an exclusive 15% discount on your first Saily data plans! Use code getplayed at …
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Nick and Matt talk more about Donkey Kong Bananza, The Drifter and discuss some of their favorite "Board" games (Like Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 + 4, SSX Tricky and more). Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For a…
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Gimmick Month continues somehow, with our three heroes navigating Candy Week to the absolute best of their abilities. Perils awaiting them include (but are not limited to) beef tallow Reese's Cups, "the one that most looks like a turd," carbonic acid, the chocolate bar that makes you gay, something called "bridge mixture," and somehow, even more. W…
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Nick flies solo this week and talk about his first impressions of Donkey Kong Bananza, his time in video game development on the Fantastic Four video games, and he interviews his Doughboys co-host Mike Mitchell about Twisted Metal Season 2 on Peacock! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpo…
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If you thought Gimmick Month wasn't going to last the whole month, well, that's not a very reasonable assumption! We named it that on purpose! Anyway this week's gimmick is plagiarism. Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, fiv…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk a little more about Death Stranding 2, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3+4 and LOK before constructing Tri-Forces of their favorite video game titles! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For a…
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Gimmick Month continues with Niki's most devious and unpredictable challenge yet: Quiz Week. Do you know as much about the world as you think you do? Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a t…
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Heather, Nick and Matt discuss the rest of the new video game releases coming in 2025, speculate on games with nebulous release dates and debut a new segment: Segma Dream Cast. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.co…
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It's July somewhere, and that means it's finally time for Gimmick Month!! Niki has graciously taken point on engineering this year's gimmicks, starting off the 2025 season with PBS Week, which, of course, must include discussion of Little Richard, Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, video games on the roadshow, when you go "to see a thing and one of the peopl…
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Longtime best-friend and founding cast member LB Hunktears returns for a special episode full of surprises and adventure, as John, Niki and merritt walk LB through everything they've missed over the last few weeks, including Niki's plan to "do We Are the World again," Bane JNCOs, Frankenstein, the Spaceballs sequel, the latest issue of that AARP ma…
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Heather, Nick and Matt return to the world of Hideo Kojima's Death Stranding and discuss their first impressions of Death Stranding 2: On The Beach. They talk about being hooked by the early game, making deliveries, and more. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benp…
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Heather, Nick and Matt go back to their old ways and experience the $10 Nintendo Switch 2 user manual/museum Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, ou…
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John's back from having major reconstructive surgery, so to celebrate Niki and merritt throw him a big welcome home party with all of John's favorite things, including the show Sister Wives, "the autistic character in League of Legends," merritt's new straight jacket, Frank Thomas' Fuck Pills, doing gear, coming up with new rules for America's Favo…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk more about the Nintendo Switch 2 and meeting Hideo Kojima and Ray Chase (X-Men ’97, Final Fantasy 15) returns to discuss the video game he designed Date Everything! Date Everything! is available on all platforms June 17th! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod…
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merritt, John and Niki bring a very important topic to the forefront of their weekly discussions: Who is behind the conspiracy destroying this podcast? To get to the bottom of it, the gang investigates a number of related mysteries, including the ET and Mario Kart rides at Universal Studios, "he has big teeth and he's everywhere," merritt's new Wii…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk a little bit about Elden Ring Nightreign and Balatro and then discuss the launch of the Nintendo Switch 2 and say goodbye to the original Nintendo Switch. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrig…
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So the bad news this week is that John was in an honest-to-God car accident and has a broken ankle, but the good news is that merritt is joining the show fulltime! These incidents are unrelated and nobody should look into them. :) Otherwise the gang workshops some new ways to incentivize young voters, while also handling John's irrational fear of w…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk through the unreleased in North America Nintendo RPG Mother 3. They discuss how the game was translated by fans, how the game deals with grief, Shigesato Itoi, their reactions to the ending and more. SPOILER COUNTRY is from 1:51:15 to 2:24:52 (time codes may vary with ads so it ends about 33 mins after we enter spoiler c…
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John, merritt and Niki crack open a cold tallboy of TRUTH and slurp down a flight of intoxicating discussion topics, including (but not limited to) a failed clone of Machine Gun Kelly, the average number of marriages on this show, getting Jason Bourned as "something to do," Pac-Man's cavernous maw, a Chuck E. Cheese fire in Chicago, and honestly, s…
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Heather, Nick and Matt discuss some RPGs from their past and draft their ideal RPG rosters from their favorite characters! Our next We Play, You Play: Mother 3 Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free mai…
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John, Niki and merritt take a break from their quickly unraveling lives [Editor's note: They're fine, I'm just trying to spice things up a little] to discuss a growing number of deep interpersonal concerns, including the physical cost of teleporting, our plans for the rapidly approaching Gimmick Month, deciding to look at a real dead body live on a…
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Heather, Nick and Matt discuss the 2024 documentary Grand Theft Hamlet, the story of two out of work actors at the height of the pandemic attempting to stage a production of Hamlet within Grand Theft Auto Online. Grand Theft Hamlet is available to stream on Mubi. Our next We Play, You Play: Mother 3 Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com…
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In addition to being on From the World of John Wick: Ballerina watch, Niki, merritt and John are also keeping an eye on several other developing situations, including Amy Poehler's podcasting career, everyone's favorite Rugrats, putting a bath over your bath, whether Jamba Juice still exists, Law & Order's latest murder, the Billboard Top 100, the …
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Heather, Nick and Matt take a look back at 1993's Doom! They talk about how influential it was as an FPS, the many clones, what you can play Doom on and more! Our next We Play, You Play: Mother 3 Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Bri…
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With Niki and merritt installed as America's new Gas Czar(s), John struggles to adapt to the new normal of gasoline freestyle machines. Meanwhile, the group is also enlisted to solve a number of scientific quandaries, including whether Sandman from comics (not that one) cums sand, why you should respect the superhuman abilities of Ariel from The Li…
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Heather, Nick & Matt discuss what they are playing: Clair Obscur Expedition 33! They talk about their impressions of the early game and then discuss AA games in general. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For a…
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It's the first day of merrit's extended speaking engagement at Drivey's Ed, and to celebrate she briefs John and Niki on a number of pressing topics that she hopes to cover during her stay, including her upcoming stint as Prime Minster of Canada, the specifics of that gorilla question that's going around, Niki's weekend at the country music festiva…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk about the Nintendo Switch 2 pre-order system and discuss the new puzzle adventure roguelike Blue Prince. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our comple…
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LB, Niki and John. You know them, you love them, and one of them was forced to do crowd work as a child, but you'll have to listen to find out which. We also learn about a certain someone's shameful gas buying habits ("Don't tell anyone I top off!"), the secret truth about escape rooms, a Sailor Scout you've never heard of, value-added fungus, and …
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Heather, Nick and Matt draft their favorite Sega Dreamcast games and discuss some more Blue Prince, the final patch for Baldur's Gate 3 and more. This month's We Play, You Play: Blue Prince. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade …
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LB, Niki and John, placed on this Earth to perform one task, must continue their great effort by first dealing with LB's overstretched plantar, the existence of the "chicken jockey" and what effect saying the phrase "chicken jockey" to one's parents might have, the music they're playing our children in PE class, if Ghost Adventures is real, the ret…
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Heather, Nick and Matt discuss The Last of Us and the Zombie video game genre at large, Blue Prince, Celeste, Barbecue and more. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our complete b…
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It's time once again for LB, John and Niki to do their usual thang and solve all of the world's problems in just over an hour. This week, our heroes discuss batteries, different ways of making oats, the Burger King's relationship with Ronald McDonald, writing in cursive, why they not have ketchup in glass bottle anymore, hooking up your new chair, …
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Heather, Nick and Matt discuss their experience watching A Minecraft Movie and give their thoughts on the Nintendo Switch 2 Direct! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed Follow us on social media @getplayedpod Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com For ad-free main feed episodes, our complet…
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Back in the saddle and blasting indiscriminately, John, Niki and LB gather their various dogs for a ruff-riding romp through a number of discussion topics, which include (but are not limited to) the mural at Johnny Rockets, the Quibi guy, watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit while standing outside of a FUBU, British people and their historical chants, …
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Mike Drucker (The Tonight Show, Nintendo) returns to the show to discuss his new book Good Game, No Rematch: A Life Made of Video Games (available 4/1/25) and the museum management sim game Two Point Museum! They also discuss more of Assassin's Creed Shadows, Avowed, Disney Villans Cursed Cafe and more. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods…
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Niki, John and LB chew the fat -- the HORSE fat, that is!!! -- in this wacky new installment of our madcap program. I don't know how you guys LISTEN to this stuff!! XD Not only does LB debut a brand-new segment, but this episode also touches on some really wild and unpredictable nonsense, like the correlation between sandwich length and disease sev…
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Heather, Nick and Matt talk through their first impressions of Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed Shadows and discuss the Street Fighter II documentary "Here Comes A New Challenger". Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed. Follow us on social media @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.c…
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With Niki trapped aboard the San Francisco Space Station, local hero Charles Harte steps in to "fill the void" and help LB and John answer some of the biggest questions facing today's Sleepy Americans, including if anyone has ever fucked The Big Apple Coaster at New York-New York Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, how hot farts are, the biggest poop ever…
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It's the 300th episode of Get Played! To celebrate the momentous occasion Heather, Nick and Matt take a look at Metacritic's top 300 games. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed. Follow us on social media @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com. For ad-free main feed episodes,…
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This week John, Niki and LB, in a show of unity and strength against mounting opposition forces, take scam dog food makers to task for making scam dog foods. They also launch a radical new campaign designed to end conversations they don't want to participate in; usher in a new age of cyber skeletons for those in need; put a stop to the miserable to…
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It's the 25th anniversary of the Playstation 2 and Heather, Nick and Matt discuss their memories of the console, their favorite games, the PS2's impact on gaming and more. Take the audience survey here: gum.fm/getplayed Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed. Follow us on social media @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benprunt…
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LB, Niki, John, Jack and Dianne all convene at the local Tastee-Freez to suck on some chili dogs and talk shop, which this week includes John's trade to the Lakers, Niki's new state of being, Steve's last iPod, interchangeable company names, pivoting to PETA, The Wiggles™, trying to meet Wolfgang Puck in 2025, and honestly dude, so much more that I…
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Heather, Nick and Matt draft their favorite bald video game characters and discuss Keep Driving, Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, Avowed and the Anbernic RG34XX. Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed. Follow us on social media @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duc…
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John, LB and Niki peruse the menu of life and choose a number of appetizing topics to sate their hunger for discussion, including LB's new towels, hanging out with BTS, another installment of Scam Text Theater, the complete plot of The Substance (so spoiler warning obvs), if Aaron Sorkin wrote Dawson's Creek, our definitive ranking of the Barenaked…
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Cody "Zig" Ziglar (Futurama, Miles Morales & Deadpool Marvel Comics) joins Heather, Nick and Matt to talk Marvel Rivals! They talk about hero shooters in general, what Marvel Rivals does right, Netease laying off the North American team, and more. Plus talk of Alan Wake 2, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2, Avowed and more. Check out our brand new merch a…
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Niki, LB and John waste no time this week, immediately casting aside pretense and delving straight into a number of pertinent and pressing topics, including "what if Tylenol goes woke," two new kinds of hyper-localized lottery, the specific kind of Weird™ that people get about celebrities like Natalie Portman and Milana Vayntrub, the details of our…
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Heather, Nick & Matt discuss and rank their video game movie adaptations! Check out our brand new merch at kinshipgoods.com/getplayed. Follow us on social media @getplayedpod. Music by Ben Prunty benpruntymusic.com. Art by Duck Brigade duckbrigade.com. For ad-free main feed episodes, our complete back catalogue including How Did This Get Played? an…
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It's Valentine's Day (when we're recording, at least), so obviously LB, Niki and John have to talk about hallway shoes, the "prison walrus trap," an upsetting development concerning LB's enormous glass of iced water, Chucky, the ongoing popularity of Furby-brand toys, dating a ghost, animal genetics and, as a special treat, somehow even more. Welco…
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