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Enneagram and Marriage

Christa Hardin, MA

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The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
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New York Times Bestselling author and international speaking sensation Sally Hogshead shares little nuggets about her How to Fascinate® system. Sally developed the Fascination Advantage® assessment, your key to discovering how the world sees you. Find out how to leverage your unique traits to boost your career, improve your relationships and live more authentically.
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Join marriage coach Christa for a delightfully honest audio diary of her European family adventure! From London subway mishaps to finding her great-grandmother's mysterious grave on the Croatian island of Mali Lošinj, this episode captures the beautiful chaos of ambitious travel with heart and humor. Experience the highs and lows of trains through …
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Navigate the midnight hours of life and faith with profound wisdom from author Aubrey Sampson, Enneagram 4 (4-7 pairing), as we discover what we actually find in spiritual darkness through Aubrey's soul-wrenching journey of losing her best friend Jen and encountering the "dark night of the soul." Learn why spiritual dryness isn't failure but invita…
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Discover your relationship's hidden superpowers through summer blockbuster wisdom! Christa (7) and Melody (9) explore how storylines and superhero teams demonstrate the best and worst of personality . Analyze the way the SP, SX, and SO instincts in Jurassic World Rebirth go right and wrong, Fantastic Four's perfect type diversity, and dive deep int…
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Have you noticed humans learn better through story, metaphor, and the five senses than through thinking alone? Discover the fun of personality growth through the extraordinary lens of personality patterns we see mirrored in nature this late summer with Dr. Angela Rosenberg, Type 2, author of her book "Being on the Wing: Feathered Reflections on the…
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Discover your intimate superpower through sexual integration! In this finale episode, marriage coach Christa reveals what healthy sexual expression looks like for each Enneagram type - from Type 1's relaxed presence finding perfection in imperfect moments to Type 8's gentle strength and vulnerable power. Learn how sexual integration isn't about bec…
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Navigate sexual challenges with compassion through understanding Enneagram shadows in intimacy! Marriage coach Christa explores how each type's protective patterns create predictable conflicts - from Type 1 perfectionism blocking pleasure to Type 8 intensity overwhelming partners to Type 9s disconnecting during intimate moments. Discover common typ…
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Discover the secret pleasure languages that could revolutionize your intimate connection! In this episode of the summer sizzle series, marriage coach Christa reveals how each Enneagram type has a unique way of experiencing and expressing physical pleasure - from visual connection (Types 1,4,7) to touch-centered intimacy (Types 8,9,2) to auditory ap…
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Understanding how your partner receives intimate invitations is just as important as how they initiate them! Discover why response styles have everything to do with personality as you learn about the gentle approach types, those who need beautiful and unhurried environments, and those who just need to know you see them in their joyful enthusiasm. W…
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Discover why you and your partner seem to have completely different experiences during intimacy! In this revelatory episode, Christa explores how your Enneagram type determines whether you connect sexually through your body (Gut Types 8, 9, 1), emotions (Heart Types 2, 3, 4), or mind (Head Types 5, 6, 7). Through real couple stories like Sarah & Mi…
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Discover the secret language of sexual initiation in marriage through the Enneagram! In this groundbreaking episode, marriage coach Christa explores how each of the nine personality types initiates intimacy in completely different ways - and why misreading these signals creates disconnection in the bedroom. Learn about the three distinct initiation…
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What if the secret to a happy marriage isn't finding the right person, but creating the right conditions for joy to flourish together? In this uplifting episode, discover why happiness in marriage is less about constant bliss and more about intentional practices that build lasting joy. Learn the difference between fleeting pleasure and sustainable …
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Tired of the mental exhaustion that comes from constantly wondering what others think of you? In this episode, bestselling author and pastor Sharon Hodde Miller, Enneagram 7 (7-3 pairing) reveals why examining our life without just gazing inward, but also up at God and outwardly to others can also help us to break free from the self-focused scripts…
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Sometimes the most powerful chains in marriage are the ones we can't see. In this transformative episode, discover how to identify and break free from the four invisible patterns that keep couples stuck: the Scorekeeper Chain (mental tallies and resentment), the Mind-Reading Chain (expecting partners to anticipate needs), the Perfection Chain (redo…
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In this powerful episode, former megachurch pastors Jimmy and Irene Rollins share their raw journey from a marriage that was "surviving, not thriving" to genuine transformation after addiction threatened everything they'd built. For fifteen years, the couple maintained a thriving public ministry while privately struggling—Irene battling alcohol add…
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What can hobbits, elves, and the wisdom of Middle-earth teach us about relationships? In this special conversation, Christa sits down with Philip Nation, publisher at Thomas Nelson and lifelong Tolkien enthusiast, to explore the profound relationship wisdom hidden within J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved stories. From the faithful friendship of Sam and Frod…
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In today's episode, we challenge the common assumption that men always want more sex than women in marriage. Join us as we speak with J. Parker, author of "The Higher-Desire Wife," about the estimated 25% of marriages where wives have a higher sex drive at various seasons of marriage. We explore multiple causes of mismatched desire beyond stereotyp…
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Here in this E + M mini, Christa explores the concepts of masculinity and femininity, as well as the tendency of certain types to lean toward different qualities, and how understanding this can transform your marriage dynamics. Learn which qualities come naturally to your type, which ones you might need to develop, and how accessing both strength a…
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Join Christa for a crucial conversation with Rachel Clinton Chen, MDiv and faculty at The Allender Center, about spiritual abuse and its unique impact on marriages. Rachel brings both professional expertise and Type 2 heart-centered wisdom to this difficult but necessary topic. Discover how spiritual abuse differs from general church hurt, the spec…
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Join us for an inspiring conversation with filmmakers Nathan (Type 4) and D'Lytha (Type 5) Myers as they share their unique journey of marriage, parenting, and creating meaningful entertainment together. Nathan, known for his work on The Chosen and now running Grafted Studios, brings passionate creativity, while D'Lytha offers thoughtful wisdom. To…
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What does it mean to bring light to the darkest seasons of life and faith? In this deeply moving post-Father’s Day episode, Mike Donehey, lead singer of the reunited Tenth Avenue North, shares the heart behind their new album “Learning to Trust.” As a social Type 4 married to a Type 2, Mike demonstrates the courage to go to those dark feelings, sit…
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When emotions run high in relationships, knowing how to self-soothe can make the difference between connection and disconnection. In this practical mini-episode, we explore a few way each instinctual variant, Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual/One-to-One, approaches calming when feelings are intense. We also break down a bit further to designate…
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What if the key to a stronger marriage isn't avoiding conflict, but learning to dig in and work through difficult moments? In this practical episode, marriage therapist and relational life therapist Zach Brittle, 8 brings over a decade of professional wisdom combined with personal insights from his Type 8-Type 2 marriage. Host of the popular Marria…
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What does it mean to age with strength and wisdom? In this powerful episode, Kathleen Henderson, 8 (8-9 pairing) shares her honest journey and OR nursing background to help others through health challenges, empowering you to use your voice and your spouse through the seasons through health challenges and through the evolution of marriage in later s…
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As we step into a summer of refinement here at Enneagram and Marriage, what better time to focus on creating homes that truly work for our families? In this insightful episode, interior design and home organization expert and author Whitney English, Type 4 (4-9 pairing), shares her room-by-room approach to creating spaces that are both beautiful an…
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Is artificial intelligence becoming the third party in your marriage? In this timely episode, we explore the growing trend of couples turning to AI for relationship advice, planning, and emotional processing. Based on survey data from real couples, Christa unpacks three major benefits AI brings to marriage—from vacation planning to communication to…
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In this special Memorial Day episode, Enneagram Type 2 Kristen Strong shares her powerful journey as a social Enneagram 2 giver and also military wife who spent two decades moving across the world, constantly rebuilding friendships and community. Author of "Desperate Woman Seeks Friends," Kristen offers vulnerable insights into the acute loneliness…
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What does it truly mean to love someone with your whole being? In this transformative episode, we explore the essential practices needed to move beyond surface-level connection into profound, soul-nourishing love. Drawing from both Enneagram wisdom and practical relationship insights, we unpack how your personality type influences your capacity for…
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Influencer and Coach (Enneagram & Coaching) Hillary McCaskey, 9w8 joins Christa to explore how her Enneagram type shapes her marriage to an 8. Together they discuss how Hillary's 972 Tritype influences her ability to support her Type 8 husband's dreams while finding her own voice—culminating in both a healthier and more attuned marriage as well as …
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Christa takes you on a journey through the subtle influences of Enneagram wings in marriage relationships. In this illuminating episode, she explores how our wing tendencies can sometimes take over our interactions with our spouse without us even realizing it. From the silent withdrawal of a 1w9 to the stubborn resistance of a 9w8, Christa breaks d…
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Just in time for Mother's Day, this special episode features Wall Street Journal bestselling author Jessica Turner sharing hard-earned wisdom about rebuilding when life veers dramatically off-script. Whether you didn't get to have kids, your marriage is different than what you wanted, or like Jessica, your marriage took a turn in a different direct…
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In this illuminating mini-episode for anyone who finds themselves in a reactive Enneagram Eight space, Christa unveils tools for finding and accessing the hidden vulnerability healthily beneath the Eight armor. Whether you're an Eight, have an Eight wing or arrow connection, or love someone with Eight energy, this episode offers crucial insights in…
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In this stance episode, Christa helps you to explore how our emotional regulation patterns impact our closest relationships through the lens of stances. This episode dives into the three stress stances—moving against, moving away, and moving toward—and how understanding these unconscious reactions can transform your marriage. Whether you're caught …
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It's all been done. I can't start until it's perfect. What if the critics come? In this episode, Christa talks with Mary Marantz, Enneagram 4, about her journey from growing up in a trailer in rural West Virginia to becoming a Yale Law graduate, successful entrepreneur, and author, only to learn she was still underestimating herself. This empowerin…
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Ever wonder why personal growth seems to follow predictable patterns of progress and plateau? In this illuminating episode, we dive into one of the Enneagram's most fascinating but rarely discussed aspects: moving around the whole Enneagram system. Learn how this powerful concept applies to everything from skill-building to relationship development…
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In this illuminating episode of the Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, we welcome Philip Nation, Vice-President/Publisher of Thomas Nelson Bibles and acclaimed author (Enneagram 4) to explore the powerful intersection of faith, scripture study, and marital connection. Philip shares his expertise on making the Bible accessible in relationships, offerin…
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In this special mid-week mini episode, Christa explores the ancient practice of biblical lament as a pathway to deeper intimacy with God and our spouses. Discover why expressing honest sorrow and questions to God isn't just permitted but modeled throughout scripture—from the Psalms to Jesus himself on the cross. Learn how each Enneagram type bypass…
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In this engaging episode, Brad and Sarah Johnson, Triad Partners, reveal how life as an entrepreneurial couple (Brad is the co-founder of Triad Partners) creates both unique challenges and extraordinary strengths in their marriage, family, and business. Brad and Sarah (types 7 and 6 pairing) share candidly about their journey and deep dive with us …
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In this heartfelt episode, discover the transformative power of "holding vigil" for your spouse through prayer and presence in a way that costs, but also really gives, both to you and your spouse. Learn both general tips and how each Enneagram type uniquely supports their partner during difficult times, and what challenges they face in staying pres…
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Who can get in a sexy state of mind when they're dealing with the triple threat of emotional load, cognitive load, and the physical demands of partnership and parenting, too? Mental load inequity is now recognized as the leading source of relationship tension through research, but what can we do about that when not one but both partners feel equall…
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When your personality seems to straddle multiple Enneagram types, it can feel confusing or even invalidating. In this illuminating episode, we explore what it means when you identify strongly with two or more Enneagram patterns, referencing insights from Dr. Dan Siegel's previous conversation on the show. Discover why this "multi-type resonance" is…
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Is a clean house a spiritual obligation? In this liberating conversation, Dana K. White, author of the brand new book, "Jesus Doesn't Care About Your Messy House," challenges the shame and spiritual baggage many attach to home management. This book is for you, no matter how competent you feel in other parts of your life, you still feel overwhelmed …
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How does your Enneagram type influence your experience of anxiety? In this insightful episode, we explore the unique ways each type encounters, processes, and responds to fear. Discover why Head types (5,6,7) intellectualize anxiety, Heart types (2,3,4) emotionalize it, and Body types (8,9,1) somaticize it—creating entirely different anxiety experi…
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In this compelling conversation, bestselling author Ian Cron discusses his new book "The Fix," revealing how addiction in its many forms affects us all. Ian moves beyond stereotypical views of addiction to show how everyone struggles with attachments that promise fulfillment but ultimately leave us empty. With wisdom and compassion, he explains how…
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In this transformative and quick episode, we walk together through several powerful practices to develop genuine internal validation. If you constantly seek others' approval or question your decisions, this episode is for you! Learn practical techniques to strengthen your self-trust and break the cycle of external validation right here. YouTube the…
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In this captivating episode, we're joined by Jim Zartman (Type 8) and Joel Hubbard (Type 7), creators of the groundbreaking Hunters, Farmers, and Teamers framework and book. This innovative lens reveals our survival instincts as well as helps us adapt in them, speaking of how our core drives shape everything from our leadership styles to our marria…
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Many couples avoid "relationship check-ins" because they feel awkward or turn into criticism sessions. This episode offers a completely different approach - a structured 30-minute blueprint that creates safety, deepens understanding, and builds practical solutions together that Christa shares both here and in this mini-episode. You'll learn: The re…
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What happens when we make our partners the center of our emotional universe? In this insightful episode with Christa walking us through the concept of decentralization, we explore the delicate art of "decentralizing" your partner—a powerful practice that counterintuitively strengthens intimate connections. Through the lens of marriage theory, inclu…
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What happens when we open our hearts and homes to others? Craig and Laura Cooper join us to share their extraordinary journey of faith and generosity that inspired MercyMe's song and Walker Hayes' music video "Craig." The Coopers discuss how their Type 3w4 and Type 9 Enneagram dynamics shape their approach to hospitality, and how a simple act of gi…
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Join us for a powerful conversation with Justin and Trisha Davis about breaking the cycles that hurt our relationships. From navigating infidelity to rebuilding trust, they share how understanding their Enneagram dynamic as an 8w7 and 3w2 couple has transformed their marriage and ministry. Discover practical wisdom for breaking free from shame, res…
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Join Christa and award-winning writer and professor Kimberly Phinney for a tender yet powerful conversation about navigating suffering in marriage. Through her own journey with critical illness and her work as a poet and literature scholar, Kimberly shares how pain can become a doorway to deeper connection. Discover how writing becomes medicine, ho…
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