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Tammy (Child Custody Coach) shares her experience and insights gained from her own divorce and subsequent step family. She also worked alongside her late husband, Attorney Thomas D. Ferreira, for over 15 years as a paralegal and mediator before beginning her child custody coaching practice in 2019. Thomas passed away on May 1, 2023 and Tammy continues to share the wisdom she gained from Thomas through the years as well as her own perspective. Tammy specializes in helping parents who are deal ...
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In Episode 338 "Were You the One Doing Everything?" we will discuss how I often hear clients say they “did everything” in their relationship. What you may not realize is that doing everything is a trauma response. People who “do everything” also frequently over-commit , struggle to delegate, mistrust others, are perfectionists, and are reluctant to…
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What You Say V. How You Say It (In Court)
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What You Say V. How You Say It (In Court) – Episode 337 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most people get very focused on the “what” part of the information they want the court to know. Much of my work as a coach is teaching people “how” to say the things they need to in a way that will resonate with the court. I’m going to give you 5 examp…
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Trauma Bond with a Narcissist – Episode 336 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Trauma bonds are created through a biochemical reaction in your body similar to addiction. So, it’s no wonder we have trouble breaking free, long after the relationship has ended. We often continue on the emotional rollercoaster that is a relationship with a narci…
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5 Common Legal Traps with a Narcissist – Episode 335 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll discuss five of the most common traps we see narcissists use to try to gain the upper hand in Court. Understanding how the narcissists weaponize these traps and what steps you can take to prevent them is crucial to your success again…
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Exposing the Narcissist’s Abuse – Episode 334 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Parents are often concerned about being able to expose narcissistic abuse from the other parent. In this episode, I’ll share tips to help you gather the information you need to help you expose the behaviors. I’ll also talk about how to present the information in…
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Self Love is Key to Ending Toxic Relationships
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Self Love is Key to Ending Toxic Relationships– Episode 333 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The toxic patterns of a narcissist-codependent relationship don’t magically end just because the relationship ends, especially if we have to co-parent with the narcissist. The same unhealthy dynamics continue t until we do the internal work that is…
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Presenting Your Child Custody Case – Episode 332 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Whether presenting your case to the court or another expert, one of the big mistakes people make is they talk about their case using words that are open to interpretation or by using feeling words such as angry, upset, etc. There is a very simple technique yo…
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Coercive Control by Narcissists – Episode 331 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. Several states have recognized coercive control as a form of domestic violence. Narcissists u…
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Narcissists Want a Rematch – Episode 330 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. So, you finally made it through your court process and have your orders. Now, you’ll have some peace, right? If you’re dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict person, that’s not the likely scenario. They frequently want to appeal or want a rematch at the next po…
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Court-Ordered Custody Mediation Against a Narcissist
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Court-Ordered Custody Mediation Against a Narcissist – Episode 329 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Mediation is required in most states prior to going to court on custody issues. But, mediation can look very different depending on where you are located. In this episode, I’ll break down the different types of mediation to help you know wha…
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Narcissists Jumble Your Brain – Episode 328 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Being clear headed to make good decisions is critical in child custody cases, especially in the early stages. Ironically, this is when most people experience the most brain fog and emotional disruption due to the breakdown of the relationship. In this episode, I’l…
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When Life Gives You Lemons – Episode 327 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We all know the phrase When Life Gives You Lemons……….Make Lemonade. But when you lose your primary relationship, are away from your kids, are financially destroyed, or just stuck in a pit of grief it can feel nearly impossible to pull yourself out of that hole. In th…
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Parenting Plan Blueprint – Episode 326 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. If you have a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent then the components of your parenting plan and the level of detail becomes critical. In this episode, I’ll break down the major components of a parenting plan and share some of the details that are most commonly add…
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Navigating a Broken Court System – Episode 325 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Many parents feel like our Court system is broken. The system is definitely overloaded and is run by humans, so it doesn’t always get things right. In this episode, I’ll talk about the weaknesses in the system, why they exist, and how best to navigate them. To …
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5 Types of Court Hearings in Child Custody
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5 Types of Court Hearings in Child Custody – Episode 324 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll talk about some of the common court hearings we see in child custody cases. Different hearings have different agendas, sometimes there is live testimony, sometimes not and sometimes it’s just to “check in” with the court about va…
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5 Strategies to Stay Centered with a Narcissist
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5 Strategies to Stay Centered with a Narcissist – Episode 323 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. A narcissist will do all they can to keep you “off center” emotionally. It makes you easier to manipulate. One of the first steps in regaining your power after this kind of toxic relationship is to learn to keep your emotional center no matter wh…
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5 Red Flags of a Narcissistic Co-Parent – Episode 322 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. In this episode, I’ll give you five common red flags in child custody that indicate you may be dealing with a narcissistic or high-conflict co-parent. Understanding what you are dealing with is the first step to solving the problem. I’ll also share 3 tip…
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3 Ways Narcissists Condition You – Episode 321 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. We have unknowingly spent our entire relationship with the narcissist being conditioned. This conditioning results in continued behaviors even once the relationship is over. They become the same tools the narcissist uses to manipulate you in co-parenting your c…
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5 Common Ways Narcissistic Co-Parents Manipulate
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5 Common Ways Narcissistic Co-Parents Manipulate – Episode 320 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. There are patterns of behavior narcissists use to manipulate people. We’ll talk about 5 of the most common ones seen, particularly in co-parenting and one simple technique you can use to greatly reduce the effectiveness of the narcissist’s manip…
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Change of Circumstances in Child Custody – Episode 319 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Most states require a “change of circumstances” for a parent to apply for a change in the current custody orders. Some states also have a minimum timeline to file for a modification unless there is some danger to the child. Change of circumstances can v…
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7 Strategies to Level Up Your Custody Game
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Episode 318 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Learning to successfully navigate custody is similar to learning to play chess. You need to understand strategy and learn basic tactics before you can advance your skills. In this episode, I’ll give you seven strategies to help you level up your custody game, regardless of what stage of the game…
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Does it Help Your Case When the Other Parent Lies
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Does it Help Your Case When the Other Parent Lies – Episode 317 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. The vast majority of clients complain about the other parent lying. Many times we feel like this should be an obvious key to our success if we can prove it. But, like everything else in the child custody system, it isn’t always that simple. In …
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Fighting a Corrupt Child Custody System – Episode 316 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. When you walk out of Court over and over and are not happy with the outcome, it can start to feel like the system is rigged or that you’re dealing with bias. And, that may be true. But, whether it’s true or not, in order to succeed, you need to know how …
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Child Custody Is Never Fair – Episode 315 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Fairness is our inherent expectation from the justice system. Anyone new to the child custody process quickly becomes disillusioned when they realize that fairness is nowhere in the equation. And how you conduct yourself in light of this realization can make or brea…
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Your Attorney’s Agenda in Child Custody – Episode 314 of the Divorce University Online Podcast. Complaints about attorney’s frequently come up in conversations about child custody. Some of this is because attorneys are inherently bad at explaining things in simple easy to understand language for clients. And some of it is because clients are so uni…
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