Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the injury reports in 5-a-side group chats, players who look like they think throw-ins are beneath them, the horror of watch…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: which player could most plausibly play for all 32 Club World Cup teams, the inevitability of Ref Cam in the Premier League, more inappropriate EFL new-signing language, slightly desperate football references in Channel 4 TV listings, describing pl…

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Bundesliga commentator Kevin Hatchard to compile the quintessential lineup of players from modern German football. The selection process involves some unhinged goalkeepers, giant defenders fathered by US military servicemen, lesser-known Brazilians, meat-and-potatoes midfielders, Japanes…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some early Club World Cup observations (including DAZN's motley crew of pundits and co-commentators), an unexpected Nigel Farage-based analogy, barely-audible Andy Hinchcliffe co-commentary in Ukrainian dance music, Kyle Walker's Turkish Super Lig…

& David Walker. On the agenda: the half-hearted fallout from England 1-3 Senegal, Scotland's George Hirst mixes up his metaphorical goalscoring relief, why Claudio Ranieri should go to the World Cup, an unexpected exclamation from a South American commentator and cash vs curiosity as the Club World Cup looms. Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some elite-l…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés army react to Dave's big news, Thomas Tuchel enters familiar territory for an England manager, Lee Dixon continues to settle into his co-commentary caricature, Ange Postecoglou and other managers "always welcome back at [Stadium X]", a…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & Nick Miller. On the agenda: the bonus Tom Cruise punditry we all wanted to hear, the traditional opening bell for the England/World Cup news cycle, tracking down the Richard Keys commentary from an early-90s management sim, the unofficial Cristiano Ronaldo classical mus…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: US advertising getting the Champions League exquisitely wrong, the suffocating sycophancy of watching the final with David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Tom Brady, out-of-work football managers in basketball novels, 7/10 football debates in Netflix crim…

The pod welcomes Jacob Hawley and Jake Farrell - aka The Screen Rot Podcast - for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as they choose their six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among their selections are the criteria for being a "proper football club", judging anonymous 5-a-side teammates by the obscurity of the kit they’re …

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the art of the double guard of honour, a baffling soundtrack to Napoli’s Scudetto ceremony, England one-cap wonders' names in old episodes of The Bill, Premier League players whose names belong in other sports and the start of what could be the greatest …

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Will Still’s inevitable English football unveiling edges closer, the Etihad reaction to Omar Marmoush’s wonder goal, Lionel Messi pops up in Mobland, mid-table Eredivisie clubs in sci-fi novels and some glorious Anglo-Italian commentary from…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the weekend's hat-trick of feelgood football stories (feat. Sean Dyche's co-commentary vindication), a surprise football name in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a superbly named Scottish police officer, a perfectly proportionate voiceover in an ad…

The Football Clichés Quiz returns to take on EFL specialists Ali Maxwell, George Elek (and ringer ex-pro David Prutton) from the Not The Top 20 podcast. The questions include: UEFA Cup final brace-baggers, play-off semi-final assists, stadiums with "Road" in their name, lower-division England debutants, famous football voices dubbed into foreign la…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the secret behind Watford's managerial recruitment strategy, Luis Enrique on "farmers leagues", a superb conclusion to a fine couple of weeks for football-themed papal conclave discourse, Premier League managers’ names in UFO sightings, Clive Tyld…

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of Inter 4-3 Barcelona (from both sides of the Atlantic), the fascinating depths of the Trent Alexander-Arnold legacy discourse, MK Dons going round in circles as they unveil their new crest, a journey into the unravelling …

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as they clock up 1,001 combined pod appearances. On the agenda: some perfectly timed crowd noise to meet a commentator's 4/10 pun, Andy Gray's influence on snooker commentary, Kevin De Bruyne giving the shortest shrift possible to a stat, Crystal Palace fans vs E…

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are gaslighting your partner with deliberately difficult football trivia, the art of skipping highlights to perfectly miss out t…