Brian doesn't need pockets. Naked people and a dog in the woods. Jack auditions for "Race for the Presidency." James Corden and crew hid Biden's mental decline. How to trick crocodiles. Jack auditions for "Sherlock's Legacy." Brian was tasked with rehabilitating plastic-polluter Coke's reputation. Timely Shirley MacLaine reference. Jack auditions f…

Brian was a Swallow Scout. Another dead friend. Jack reads for a talking mime. Wilton CT Public Schools love social justice, but not really English. Jack's wife's up to no good. Jack reads for Wild Turkey. Brian talk about his rejected ad campaigns. Jack reads for Kensignton Organic Markets. qmpodcast.com…

Jack reads for the Taylor Lorenz audiobook. Brian went on a tornado and flood adventure in rural Dixie. Slugburgers. Jack Junior is an umpire and needs tips. Jack reads for the Lauren Sanchez audiobook. Brian interned for the KGB and was paid in prostitutes. Jack reads for the Body Works School Textbook. qmpodcast.com…

Biden campaign revelations from Fight, the book. Brian has too many dead friends. George Lowe's "Medieval World." Brian's to-do list. Secret Gay Cruising Club signal. Welcome Rockets. George Lowe's "Roadway Package Systems." Heightening. Lou Gherig's Uncle's Disease. Jack dreams of Brian. April Fool's Jokes. George Lowe's "Num Num." qmpodcast.com…

Brian thinks GTA V has bugs. Jack reads The Real History of World War II by Daryl Cooper. Potential Marine is a wine thief. Speaking Tanya Hardingese. Jack reads Dolly Parton's memoir. A lump on the thyroid. An overly-thorough dentist. Possessing Lena Dunham antibodies. Jack reads Bouncy the Bunny.By Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Jack tries to land sponsor Everything You Want To Know About Fran Drescher. Jack hurt his brain a lot. RIP longtime pal George "Space Ghost" Lowe. Brian helps people with dementia. Jack tries to land sponsor Madeline Albright. Jack tries to land sponsor Splax. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

An interview with two of the guys from DOGE. A very special time with Andrew Heaton, author of Tribalism Is Dumb: Where it Came From, How It Got So Bad and What to do About It. https://amzn.to/4bUFDxJBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Jack auditions for Century 22. Jack's wife is a nervous host. Brian's wife has expectations. Joe Biden's talent agent. Jack auditions for Aristartled. The new Captain America. Jack auditions for Allahu Akhbar.By Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Mouth noises. Jack reads for Frost & Fury. How to extort potential sponsors. Face tats for an edge. How to extort your college admissions. Jack reads for Justice Thomas. The Questionable Material Stock Market Report: Amazon, Proctor & Gamble, Merck. Jack reads for GroverClevelandBook. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Jack auditions for WSB-TV. Interaction Night with David Muir. Brian's kid's college hunt. Jack reads for MSNBC. Time machine report from December 2025. Mega Executive Orders. Trump takes Cash App. Jimmy Carter's Superbowl Tribute. Jack reads for KCRG-TV. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Brian won a Tony (Gioni). Convincing 18-29 year olds that murder is bad. Taylor Swift's Errors Tour. Jumpy Hawthorne's cadaver ligament. Hot women with speech impediments. German Christmas with a Jew Noodle. Betsy plays ping pong. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

Jack's testimonial for Paragard. Brian's in charge of fixing New York City's homeless problem. Jack's testimonial for The Carry Collective. Brian is advertising's Mister Christmas. Jack's testimonial for BetterHelp.comBy Brian Sack, Jack Helmuth

A Broadway musical by Questionable Material. Keep It Hush, Joe's Revenge, Don't Vote for That Guy, Election Night, Kamala's Lament, Pardon Me For Life, Remember Me. Original lyrics by Brian Sack. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

We're a little late, sorry. Brian's PDF Disaster. Brian ruins Jack birthday. Jack reads A Cat Named Gouda. Brian's Temu Pocket Constitution. Brian hired a rapierist. Jack reads The Old Stone. Brian's inventions. Jack reads Alira the Ranger. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Jack auditions for a Star Trek videogame. Brian's traumatic school memories. Jack auditions for the Elder Scrolls. Brian explains his screenplays: Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Kong vs. Godzilla, The Discover Card Movie, The Muppets go to Springfield. Jack auditions for Call of Duty 16.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Jack auditions for Danger Horizon. Brian's selling a house. Slabadab gamed the happy arrangements. Random Amazon names. Jack auditions for Vader Returns. The Humpback of Notre Dame. BlueAnon friends. How the Secret Service gets the ladies. Jack auditions for Godzilla 2025.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

A most professional start. Jack reads for Golden Luck restaurant. Brian's lemonade/shellac stand. Octavius, the foster child. Humanitarian aid. Jack reads for Hershey's. Listing a home for sale. Afghan pre-nup. Jack reads for The Lawn Barber.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Jack reads for a children's book. Anti-Zionist podcast school. Latinx ladies love Papi Brian. Very Special Ed. Jack reads for another children's book. The wife tours colleges. Brian runs Camp Falsehopes. The wife tours colleges. Sponsored by silent.partners.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Jack auditions for The Spy. Brian's Hostile Environment Awareness Training. Chicken Auschwitz. Evading kidnap. Jack Auditions for Romeo & Juliet 2025. Hostile checkpoints. The Talk. Jack auditions for An American in London. Sponsored by silent.partnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Prestigious western stoning rocks. Six Flags at half mast. Extracting a Zionist from college. Mallet Monkeys. Death by vengeful salmon. Sponsored by Silent.PartnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Nancy Lynn's Organic Bakery. Brian was gone because of a terrible thing that actually happened. Friends episodes you didn't know about. Top Golf. Gen Z boardgame adaptations. Hobby Lobby. RIP Damian. Sponsored by silent.partnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Brian explains the accicental hiatus because Jack asked him to explain the accidental hiatus.By Brian Sack

Colonoscopy woes. Rock-solid sponsor. Coloring books for kids. Brian's off to Cyprus. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Obits. Pat Benetar. Jack's kids get assimilation tips. Sponsored by silent.partners qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Audition: The Albert R. Broccoli story. Waking up with the Helmuths. Tracing Jack's family's COVID origins. Audition: White House Memoir. A Very Unnecessary Rabbit Testing Facility. Audition: a serial killer's autobiography. Sponsored by Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

An ad for Silent Partners. Brian moved to Rivertownbergville. An ad for Silent Partners. Great new Californian laws. An ad for Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Liberal Sects Chat. Comedy Jihad. Jack's a Half-Keller. Masai sneakers. Libertarian Sects Chat. Knights of Death. Silent Partners. Remigrating the unassimilated. Conservative Sects Chat. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Movie Trailer auditions. Evil Canadian Truth and Reconcilition. Clinton Presidential Library exhibits. Sponsored by Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Merry Christmas. No one reads these.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Audiobook: Paul McCartney bio. Jack's a scab. Brian's car isn't autonomous. Audiobook: Harvard Pres. Claudine Gay's work. Christmas scripts: Santa Goes to Divorce Court, Christmas on Mars, The Little Drummer Girl. Audiobook: Arizona Skies.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Kissinger Memorial Gala. The Terrible Tale of Tim's restaurant. Kissinger's biography. Jack got mis-aged. Brian has a Wellness Center.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Dr. Rabinowitz obituary. The King of Detention. New college courses: New Math, Intro to Judaism, American History. Jason Peevy obituary. Holiday Promotions: Ford, Dick's Sporting Goods, Oreo. Ingrid Mackenzie obituary.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

United Federation of Lust. Breakfast wine in Morocco. Temp wives. Safe Date. Writing gaffes for Biden. The Entitled Cyclist.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Off to Morocco for the Respect Dollars. Jiggles & Giggles, A Gentleman's Comedy Club. Losing the wife to a Saudi Prince. Gregarious Brian. John soiled Taylor. A modern reboot of popular comics: Garfield, Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Brian was in Maui for the wildfires. Jack has a new baby and needs advice. Brian is a marketing genius improving baby products. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Tips on listing your home. Road trip guide. Barry White's romantic song for cats. Jack auditions for audiobooks: Clip Clop, Ibram X. Kendi's Guide to the Stock Market, The Ogre's Child.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Frenchman having a stroke opening. Brian lost a girl to sweating. Debate camp. Brian reacquainted Jack's wife her money. Woking the blockbusters: Fast & Furious, Transformers, Rocky, Jurrasic Park.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Brian fights ableism with a flare-bearing monkey. Mouring the open we never got to know. Coke in the White House. Polyamonours Mayor. Jack reads Obituaries: Irving Maximus Rothwell, Sunny Dee, Stockton Rush.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

The 1492 Project. Jack is sad he wasn't invited to Brian's Party. Brian wife speak word. God took Brian's mom and made him hate Connecticut. Horse piñata. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and jack Helmuth

Home Automation Experts LLC. The kid is back from college and the wife is transitioning. Celebrity endorsements: Dwayne the Rock Boyardee, Madonna for Jello, Colin Kapernick for The Marines, Billy Joel on Scranton. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Cat Investments, LLC. Brian and Jack's sleepover. Brian has great and Ecuadorian remodeling tips for Jack’s new house. Brian would be a great philanthropic Koch brother if only given the chance. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Tucker & Lemon. Brian's back from Turkey. Jack made a mistake and has big news. Bud Light made a mistake? Hold my beer. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Brian gives an update from Turkey, which Turks call Turkiye.By Brian Sack

Two Turtle Doves Again. Kwanzaa Outlet. Jack's no good, terrible year. Fort Knox secrets. Andrew Heaton tries to land sponsors: Plastic Surgeon, Avatar 2, Wampaquissett Valley Casino. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Adagio for Strings. Baking Clinic. Cat tumors and doggie DNA. Advice for a young lady. Audiobook auditions: The Day the Bird Died, Harrison Schmitt Was There Too, The Night Santa Came. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Mama Pione's Marinara. Charles from Tech Support. Intimate venues, intimate moments, soiled doorways. Oprah's favorite things. Jack auditions: Who Moved My Cheese?, The Feds, Night At The Bunker. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

SHHOP. Brian's back from disaster relief. Go Fund I. Jack Jr. has COVID. Timmy Sykes is Delicious Bill. Ad campaigns for John Fetterman, Ye's Hannukah Village, Trombones, Chipotle. Jack reads for CNN++: Liftoff, Medical Miracle, Stacey Abrams.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

A Gulgarian expat opens a sexy venue. Brian's back from disaster relief. Halloween costumes. Presidential Baby Team. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Questionable Material with Jack Helmuth and Andrew Heaton as Brian's off to do his disaster relief thing. Jack's archival interview with Queen Elizabeth. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth

Russian recruitment ad. Nursing home rebellion. #NeverForget tragedies or anniversaries. Thomas the Tank Engine's new friends. Jack tries to land sponsors: Rowley Private Investigations, Pete's Discount Zoo, Willie Nelson. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth