Brace yourselves. There is a rumor that Mark Twain himself has reincarnated - at least in the studios of Two Twits and Twain. Are the rumors of his appearance just as errant as once were the rumors of his death?? Tune in to find out!
…
continue reading
Laughing On The Sidelines is a comedy/ sports podcast with adult language and content where we like to take jokes a little bit too far; especially when they are about sports. We dive into the current sports news and give you our opinions and predictions. Enjoy the conversation and follow us at Laughing On The Sidelines on facebook.
…
continue reading
This podcast is brought to you by the Empowerment Project. It’s for kids and all the trusted adults who love them and want them to stay safe, empowered and thriving. With over three decades of experience teaching self-defense to children, teens, and adults, host Silvia Smart is a sixth-degree black belt and Head Instructor at her martial arts school in Oregon. Smart was inducted into the Association of Women’s Martial Arts Instructors Hall of Fame in 2020, recognized for both her dedication ...
…
continue reading
…
continue reading

1
Damp Doc Martens & Countries We Never Want To Visit
1:29:38
1:29:38
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:29:38On this week's episode, Mike has been everywhere, man, and Scotty and JP have a Sunday at the pool bar. Avocados taste nothing like damp Doc Martens, and the WNBA is seriously trying to cancel itself even worse than normal. is AI overrated or underrated, and how often should you change your bedding? What are some rejected names for some poker hands…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, the original crew is back and there are no episode notes. Scotty is still jealous of the birthday trip for Derek, and Jeremy gets Derek a late birthday present. Who are your favorite bald people, and could you eat a sucker if it falls on the floor? Enjoy a chaotic episode with much of the hilarious jokes you remember from th…
…
continue reading
Oh, yes, Twit #2 is in a tizzy!! A real tizzy. And Twit #1 isn't helping at all! A Twit tizzy isn't pretty... What to do? Well, Mark has finally arrived and maybe he can help straighten it out! Enjoy a song while you listen to the bitter end! Love, The Twits (and Mark)By Doc Martens & Clark Eide
…
continue reading

1
1 Gorilla VS 100 Men & The Weirdest Concert
1:27:26
1:27:26
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:27:26On this week's episode, Scotty still has no AC and Fred turns 40. The Vatican elects a new pope from the US, and 100 men fight a gorilla. Is naked mud wrestling overrated or underrated, and how many days of working does it take before you need a day off? Who on the podcast would you not let date a family member, and what is something that anyone lo…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Steve wins a big bet, and Scotty get terrified by plastic sharks. Grok tries to roast the Laughing on the Sidelines crew, and the Colorado Avalanche is out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Are musicals overrated or underrated, and how old is too old to play "ding-dong-ditch?" What crew member is most-likely to be the subject of …
…
continue reading

1
You're Not Invited & The Worst Stripper Names
1:33:32
1:33:32
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:33:32On this week's episode, Scotty stays home and watches Lord of the Rings and ruins JP's weekend. Shedeur Sanders doesn't get drafted until the 5th round, and the Stanley Cup Playoffs are getting crazy. Is intentionally hurting someone's feelings overrated or underrated, and what is the dumbest reason you wouldn't date someone? What are the worst des…
…
continue reading

1
Antarcticans & The Best TV Show Characters
1:44:00
1:44:00
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:44:00On this week's episode Steve has lemon potatoes, and Scotty does not get a new AC unit. JD Vance meets the pope, and a Florida woman dresses up as ICE to kidnap her ex-boyfriend's wife. Is Katy Perry going to space overrated or underrated, and how long should you stay in high school if you keep failing? What is the perfect gift for every cast membe…
…
continue reading

1
Imagination and Humor! (and, uh, Mark’s singing lessons?)
11:52
11:52
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
11:52Mark arrives early and unlocks the office door. (We didn't know he had a key!) Then, it's all about imagination and the sense of humor. Finally, Mark wants to talk about singing again - how can we change the subject??!By Doc Martens & Clark Eide
…
continue reading

1
Air Guitar Champ & Our Custom License Plates
1:27:23
1:27:23
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:27:23On this week's episode, Derek celebrated his birthday with a trip to Oklahoma with a bunch of friends, and JP and Scotty were not invited. Rory wins the Masters and air guitar competitions are a real thing on ESPN. Are musical car horns overrated or underrated, and what places could you never fall asleep? What are some rejected Sesame Street charac…
…
continue reading
Tickets to see Dan Green & Steve Peters April 11th and 12th at Vorshay's Lounge in Wichita, KS https://www.downundercomedy.com/dangreen Bonus Episode! Dan Green is a stand up Comedian out of a small town in Australia. Scotty, Steve and Dan discuss the many differences from the US and Australia in a hilarious conversation. Scotty reluctantly tries V…
…
continue reading

1
BTK Was A Jerk & Our Favorite Accents
1:30:56
1:30:56
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:30:56On this week's episode, the ski trip continues, and Steve gets attacked by locals over a joke. Guys are still better than girls at every sport, and dire wolves are back in the world! Do you actually like feet, and how many lost bets would it take for you to stop betting? If one of the podcast members got a parrot, what would it say, and what would …
…
continue reading

1
The Ski Trip Crew & The Ski Resort Bucket List
1:52:39
1:52:39
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:52:39On this week's episode, Scotty, Fred and the rest of the ski trip crew come together and revisit their 2025 ski trip to Angel Fire, NM. It was an absolute adventure with the group getting pulled over, partying at the cabin, and making the trip to Taos, NM. Along the way, the group has tons of stories from "the yarn store", and bomb warnings on the …
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Scotty's wife has a dream and Derek goes to March Madness. Opening Day is today, and a 5'6'' wrestler has a 6'3'' girlfriend. Is watching people get chased by animals overrated or underrated, and at what point is a deal on Facebook Marketplace sketchy? Of the crew, who would be able to do their job better than the other, and…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, JP actually has a long week, and Scotty waxed his nose hair. Oh NO! The WNBA might go on strike and upset 4 people, and Tracy Morgan blows chunks at a Knicks game. Are kilts overrated or underrated, and how far would you travel to see your favorite podcast? Who would each of us swap lives with for a month, and what sounds im…
…
continue reading
YOGA! can you believe it? Twit #2 has "enrolled" in a yoga class - and that has really "rolled" some eyes...especially those of Twit #1 and the Twits' perennial guest...Mark Twain. To change the subject, Mark waxes on about ambrosia, the food he gets wherever it is that he now lives... Tune in and join the fun!…
…
continue reading

1
Bottle Openers & Movie Quotes You Use Daily
1:48:48
1:48:48
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:48:48On this week's episode, Derek is back from vacation, and JP has started his new job. A high school female track athlete hits another runner with a baton, and player movement in the NFL is going crazy. Are HEELY's overrated or underrated, and at what point do you allow your in-laws to live with you? What are some rejected sports cards stats, and wha…
…
continue reading

1
Point Of Order & Sports Teams You Hate
1:43:20
1:43:20
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:43:20On this week's episode, Scotty is back from vacation with no injuries, and JP gets his dream job! SNL really messed up firing Shane Gillis, and Adam Sandler is an American treasure. Are female glory holes overrated or underrated, and how often should you take a shower? What Disney character would JP sleep with, and what should be a requirement to e…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Steve plays hockey with police officers and JP poops his pants. It is vacation week for us all, and JP can't afford to go. The US hockey team loses to Canada in the finals, but the US could beat them at any other sport. Should we start clapping when a plane lands safely, and how many items on a key ring is too many? What are…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, it has been 6 years since we started the show, and the OG's are back! The NBA All Star Game is not important, and the US shows Canada who's boss in hockey. Is sleeping with a pillow between your legs overrated or underrated, and if your spouse died, how fast would you seek a new partner? What is the most annoying thing your …
…
continue reading

1
The 51st State & Bad Places To Take Your Valentine
1:37:47
1:37:47
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:37:47On this week's episode, JP goes to a Super Bowl party and Steve gets away with making jokes about big Nate! The Chiefs got smoked in Super Bowl LIX and the Gulf of America is officially on Google maps. Are hot tubbing in the winter overrated or underrated, and at what point do you need to stop using a baby voice when talking to a child or a dog? Wh…
…
continue reading

1
Slobba The Hutt & Bad Names to be Called in Bed
1:31:41
1:31:41
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:31:41So, people keep stealing our content, and we keep on making new episodes. Hopefully, they won't keep up. The Chiefs are cheating, and the Super Bowl officials have been instructed to make sure the Chiefs win. Is a Laughing On The Sidelines boardgames overrated or underrated, and how many credit cards are too many? What are the new slogans for the s…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, JP needs a prayer and Australia is pretty scary. The Chiefs are going to win the Super Bowl agains, and Google Maps is updating their map to correct to the Gulf of America. Are wheelchair sports underrated or underrated, and how many days could you go without a shower? What do men struggle with that women do not, and what wo…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Scotty is still getting over the Lions losing, and JP may start a new segment. Are all of the LOTS crew nicer to Scotty off camera, and who is your pick for the Super Bowl now? Is being short overrated or underrated, and how much time is acceptable to spend in the bath tub? What is something you will never do again, and who …
…
continue reading

1
LA is On Fire & The Best Animal Movies
1:43:30
1:43:30
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:43:30On this week's episode, JP gets his car back, and Steve and Scotty are trying to get JP sick. The Minnesota Vikings may have been a fraud, and the government is not good at anything as LA is burning. Are toll roads overrated or underrated, and how bad do roads have to be before you don't drive on them? What's the worst thing you have ever done, and…
…
continue reading

1
Embarrassing Photos & The Best Movie Props
1:47:47
1:47:47
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:47:47On this week's episode, JP has recovered from almost dying, and Derek plays charades. The Chicago Bears end their season on a high note, and the Detroit Lions are the #1 seed out of the NFC! Do automated toilet paper dispensers even exist, and how many cars in a drive-thru line does it take for you to park and go inside? What is a childhood lie tha…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Steve reveals he is married to "Big Nate," and Jeremy's ornament prank finally happens. We seriously hope Happy Gilmore 2 doesn't get ruined, and the myth that the Christmas is the NBA's holiday is an absolute lie. Have you ever made lights out of liquor bottles, and how long do you stick to your New Years resolution? What i…
…
continue reading

1
(Final Episode) Miss Nottingham's School of Etiquette
45:15
45:15
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
45:15Title by David George Beckham, In the last ever episode of Impromptunes - The Podcast, Prunella, the daughter of the king and a chimneysweep, wonders why everyone at Ms Nottingham's School of Etiquette cares less about what people say than how they say it. Meanwhile, her twin brother George is looking to elocute his way to the throne, but is he say…
…
continue reading

1
Kicked Off Of Facebook & Best Home Alone Booby Traps
1:27:00
1:27:00
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:27:00On this week's Christmas episode, Uncle Bam and Steve Peters are back, and Scotty lost his Fantasy Football league. Steve has some great stories from the Middle East, and Luigi and Diddy might. be best friends. Are Christmas traditions in other countries overrated or underrated, and how would you grade yourself in wrapping presents? What would you …
…
continue reading
Title by Matt Fishwick David's gastrointestinal issues threaten his scholarship at Mrs Nottingham's School of Etiquette until he discovers a great talent. Song List: "Burp Burp Burp", "Oh, Why Do I Burp?", "Go, Go, Go Away", "You'd Become a Brit", "Bad Influence", "Let Out Your Love" Cast: Jacob Kuek, Stephanie Beza, Jackson Eather and Ian Andrew o…
…
continue reading

1
The New Host & Bad Stocking Stuffers
1:48:38
1:48:38
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:48:38On this week's episode, JP gets a special picture and Scotty has a dude drive through the dealership! TikTok might get banned, and The Lions are in trouble? Are fight spinner s overrated or underrated, and when you drive in the snow? could you go up to a star you recognize in public and could you go to the live show?enjoy another new episode, and k…
…
continue reading
Title by Josie Lane At the school reunion, Luke wants to pretend to be more successful than he is so he wears a purple suit and says he's in the top 7 of the Forbes 100 list of rich guys. But will his high school crush, Becky from Cotton On, like the 'new him?' Song List: "At the Ten Year Reunion/ I Was Always Gonna Be Better than High School", "I'…
…
continue reading
We waited and we waited and we waited...but, finally Mark Twain showed up again and, after our first season of 20 episodes, he was rip-roarin' and ready to go on and join us for Season Two of the Two Twits & Twain podcast! In this first episode, he's all about cigars, singing and politics - (don't worry, the "singin'" part moves quickly) - and his …
…
continue reading

1
Lord Big Papa D & Bad Places To Hide It
1:23:30
1:23:30
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:23:30On this week's episode, Scotty's wife is dangerous, and Derek gets a new nickname from a fan. Dan Campbell has the largest man-parts the world has ever seen, and the Chiefs have made a deal with the devil. Is eggnog overrated or underrated, and would you ever use food during adult time? What would we buy each other for Christmas if money was not an…
…
continue reading
Title by Anon Johnny has been wetting his pants for as long as anyone can remember. His supportive teacher/aunty, Miss Garcia, has a dream of winning the coveted "Least Peed On" award but one thing stands in her way! Her little nephew and his wet pants. Only one thing can save the day. Jundies. Song List: "Junderwear" "No More Pee" "Get Rid of John…
…
continue reading

1
Chuckling Out Of Bounds & Off-Brand Food
1:36:54
1:36:54
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:36:54On this week's episode, Scotty got a tattoo, Derek goes Black Friday shopping, and Scotty got a tattoo. The Chicago bears head coach is fired and Derek is so happy, and the Kansas City Chiefs are the luckiest NFL team of all time. Are Christmas lights synced with music overrated or underrated, and can we start playing Christmas music now? What do y…
…
continue reading
Title by Rainbowroe When an arancini ball threatens the decade long marriage of a pair of foodie fish, only a trip to the surface will bring them back together. Song List: "Eat, Eat, Eat," Why Did I Eat That?" "Plenty of Fish," "Get Caught!" "Italian/Fish" "Throw Away Your Food For Love" Cast: Hollie James, Emerson Brophy, Morgan Phillips and David…
…
continue reading

1
No-Nut November & Thanksgiving Food
1:38:10
1:38:10
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:38:10On this week's episode, we finally get introduced to Uncle Bam, and Thanksgiving is here! The Browns and Steelers get to play in the snow, and duct-taped banana sells for $6.2M. Is Scotty having a new hobby every other week overrated or underrated, and how many people is too many people to have over for Thanksgiving? What is a dumb thing that you d…
…
continue reading
Title by Anonymous Tom and Damien are two retired child star peas in an (air)pod. Their first day working at Apple goes awry when Margaret walks in. Will the lost left go right again? Song List: "The C in Customer Service", "Apple of My Eye", "Charge Your Laptop", "2 be a child star", "Episode 12, Season 3 (Shoot Me)", "You Can Count on Apple" Cast…
…
continue reading

1
Bruce Buffering & Jake's Next Fight
1:29:04
1:29:04
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:29:04On this episode, Scotty keeps buying more bottles of bourbon, and Derek keeps buying memorabilia. Jake Paul buffers through Mike Tyson, and God bless the Buffalo Bills. Are ring girls overrated or underrated, and at what point does someone deserve a handicap placard? What sponsors would be the worst for the show, and what is an unwritten rule at yo…
…
continue reading

1
I've Got Something In My Front Pocket For You
40:31
40:31
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
40:31Title by Laine Phillips Dennis and Beatrice are only on their second date and sparks are already flying! But Dennis misses his mum in Tasmania and the mysterious Lake Eel-Man has an interesting deal on offer. Dennis has a choice to make... Song List: "The Lake Eel-Man", "I'm Here", "One Night", "What Do I Do (When I Have Two Loves)?", "Flame On" Ca…
…
continue reading

1
Children Scolded In Public & Bad Ways To Commute
1:49:39
1:49:39
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:49:39On this week's episode, Scotty is super proud of his wife at the gun range, and Jeremy has a coworker doing something very strange. The election is finally over, and now we can have the rest of the football season without political commercials. Is watching a kid getting scolded in public overrated or underrated, and at what point does JP make you u…
…
continue reading
Title by Josie Lane Even in tropical paradise, Bollard can't stop thinking about his ex-girlfriend Samantha. But when bookworm Maggie starts teaching him crab facts, could a change be on the horizon? Is this feeling love, or just indigestion? Song List: "Give Me Seafood", "My Ex-Girlfriend Samantha", "Facts About Crabs", "The Getting Ready Song", "…
…
continue reading
On this week's episode, Scotty and Clayton make a video about Justin Nunley, and Mike does not know when he will do another show in Wichita, yet. Saquan Barkley pulls the most amazing move in a football game, ever, and the election may be won because of an innocent squirrel and raccoon. Is talking about politics overrated or underrated, and what is…
…
continue reading
Title by Tatum Stafford After a wild night of karaoke and men, Jan loses her briefcase filled with confidential documents. In her search for it she discovers a nefarious plot. Song List: "I Look At The Clock", "I'm The Kind Of Girl Who Likes To Go Crazy", "Steal His Keys", "Diamonds From A Diamond Mine", "I've Got A Plan", "Is That The Nerd?", "The…
…
continue reading

1
This Is Halloween & Our Favorite Albums
1:49:14
1:49:14
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:49:14On this week's episode, Derek is back from a trip to Chicago, and Scotty is getting help from fans hunting whiskey. The World Series is literally is between the 2 teams we did not want to be there, and the Chiefs are the new Patriots. Are provocative Halloween costumes overrated or underrated, and at what point do you buy new shoes? what do people …
…
continue reading
Title by Laine Phillips Mouldarolla is pretty attached to her shoes, but her dad's new partner is definitely not. Also, her dad's a bitch. Song List: "It's So Hard to be Alive", "Can't Afford to Lose", "Put Your Mouth on Me", "Ruining My Life (i'm the muthafucking moon)", "It's Sad and Okay" Cast: Zoë Harlen, Brenna Glazebrook, Morgan Phillips, and…
…
continue reading

1
Never Been That Poor & The Best States To Live
1:54:53
1:54:53
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:54:53On this week's episode, Jeremy enters his dog in a beauty pageant and Scotty is hunting for Eagle Rare. Dan Campbell is being ridiculed from Chris Christie and that makes me laugh, and bands from the 2000's are coming back! Have you ever slept in your parent's bed when they were out of town, and how old is too old to start over? What are some terri…
…
continue reading
Title by Josie Lane Something is afoot at Ramsay Bay Hospital and Investigator Douglas is determined to get to the bottom of it. But when the bodies start piling up he realises that this case could be one that has been following him his entire career. What's in the coffee? What happened in 1966? And who is the mysterious 'They'? Song List: "These W…
…
continue reading

1
Sports With Ugly Wives & The Best Mascots
1:28:13
1:28:13
Play later
Play later
Lists
Like
Liked
1:28:13On this week's episode, JP hooks up, and Scotty celebrates a birthday. The NFC North may actually be the best division in the NFL, and the Detroit Lions dominate the Cowboys, but at what cost? Have you ever taken a peak at the urinal, and what should the temperature be in your house? What's a strange service animal, and what sport do all of the ath…
…
continue reading
Title by David Lee's Broth Culinary School student, Mike, struggles to cook the perfect soup while dealing with the trauma of having an absent father, and the accidental transmutation of his friend, Mary, into a cat. Song List: "Yeah, Soup!", "Culinary Perfection", "Make That Soup With Your Father", "Cook! Cook! Cook!", "Make a Soup Outa Me", "Chic…
…
continue reading