We often get questions about whether teachers or other folks who interact with our kids can have blocked care. Or what about siblings? Also, can you have blocked care towards a spouse? Since we weren’t the first ones to name blocked care, we went to the source. We are thrilled to bring you this conversation with Dr. Jonathan Baylin, author of Brain…

Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you’re not married, you’ll still find insights you can apply to your cl…

We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mo…

Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son’s mental illness affected her health, and how she’s overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well fo…

Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn: highlights for Family Systems theory a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more …

Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions suc…

Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah’s Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how…

One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their “relationship buck…

This week we answer listener questions such as: What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder? What if things don’t get better? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links PDA Masterclass Melissa’s…

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren’t sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for acco…

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical technique…

Last year's reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we're back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following …

Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process.Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are rai…

In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abno…

Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about …

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s…

Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-sha…

Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn:the neurobiology of shutdownhow la-la land is protectivehow to offer safety and connectionRobyn loves cu…

This week we answer listener questions such as:How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives?Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers?How do I help my spouse with blocked care?How do I provide choices to a child who doesn't learn from poor ones?Click here to download the transcript for …

Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance.Amy…

It's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life.In this workshop, you will learn:importance of Nurt…

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.We couldn’t be happier to share this …

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.The authors of Reclaim Compassion and…

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast.Blocked Care is language identified b…

Our "What We Learned in 2022" episode got such great feedback that we decided to drop in with a mid-year reflections conversation.We spontaneously answered the questions:What did you discover in the first half of the year?Share something that's on your mind right now.What is one thing you would like to learn this summer?These make great journal pro…

Abandoned at a young age, Stephanie wandered the war-torn countryside of Korea. Due to her bi-racial ethnicity, she was abused and violated in every way. She was adopted around the age of nine by David & Judy Merwin. Her parents surrounded her with "lavish love" and encouragement instead of consequences when she acted out during her childhood. They…

Vacations are fun until they're not. The anticipation anxiety, change in routine, and potential overstimulation can make enjoyable vacations feel impossible.In this episode, you'll learn:things to consider when planninghow to set realistic expectationstried and true tips for keeping the fun in vacationRachel Bell is an adoptive mom and founder Bell…

This week we answer listener questions such as:How do I give "yesses" to an adult child to strengthen connection?Is younger child adoption easier than older child adoption?Can you explain why my child begs for hugs and then rejects them?Click here to download the transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksThe Connected Parent* by Dr. Karyn Purvis an…

Parenting kids who have experienced trauma, loss and separation can be challenging. Finding strategies that heal and actually work provides hope to parents who are struggling, but these strategies can seem strange to others. Our parents, neighbors, friends, and family (maybe even that lady we see at church each week) have opinions, suggestions and …

When Kristen Thomas acted out as a child at school, it was a cry for help, but she was instead labeled as a "difficult child." Eventually placed in foster care, Kristen struggled with shame and being misunderstood by the people who were supposed to protect her. In this episode, she openly shares her story of how she's breaking the cycle of generati…

This week we answer listener questions such as:How do you talk about love from birth parents when there's been extensive abuse?How do you address psychosomatic symptoms in your child?Is the new book helpful for other caregivers who interact with my child?Click here to download the transcript for this episode.Relevant LinksBody work episodes#160: Es…

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion.You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s…

Your attachment style impact ALL relationships in your life - including your relationship with God. Learn how your attachment style impacts your spiritual life, and how to take steps toward increased attachment security with God.Krispin Mayfield, LPC has a background in full-time ministry and now practices an attachment based therapy, Emotionally F…

Hannah Strege is the first adopted frozen embryo in the world, adopted through the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption program at Nightlight Christian adoptions. She shares about the importance of adoptees knowing their origin story, how she navigates her open adoption, and how adoption impacts her identity. Hannah is a graduate student at Baylor University…

This week we answer listener questions such as:When do you give consequences in your home?What do we do when the simple act of setting a boundary is a guarantee of conflict and disrespect?How can start facilitating a healthier attachment and decrease separation anxiety?What do we do if our son is sneaking out to spend time with his birth family?Cli…

As Dr. Karyn Purvis famously said, "You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." Making sense of our histories is essential to helping our children heal. In today's episode, Lisa reads portions of Chapter 2 of The Connected Parent, the book she co-authored with Dr. Karyn Purvis.Click here to download a transcr…

Food challenges are common for children with early adversity. We often get questions regarding undereating, overeating, picky eating, hoarding, and sneaking.In this workshop you will:Learn relationship-building strategies to address common issues such as picky eating, power struggles, and weight worries.Understand the health benefits of felt safety…

A lot of children shut down when you try to directly correct behaviors or address fears and past experiences. Story, imagination, and play are great ways to tackle tough issues without starting a control battle with your kids. Join Imagination Specialists and veteran parents, Darren and Margie Fink to learn the four steps of bibliotherapy.Click her…

How can we help our kids navigate their identity, and sit with them in the unknowns of their story or the grief and loss that comes up?Jenn and Josh Hook don't shy away from the hard topics in this fantastic interview. They offer practical ideas for connecting across cultures and supporting your child's unique identity. We also talk about following…

This week we answer listener questions such as:What do you do when not everyone in the family wants to foster/adopt anymore?What if one of our kids isn't accepting a newly adopted sibling?What do you do when a child always wants to pick an option not on the list when given two choices?Is anything we're doing making a difference?Click here to downlo…

With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2022 we thought it would be fun to recap the year. What we learned. When we experienced God's kindness. What we're excited about in 2023.Click h…

Kids are growing up in a world of worry today. Anxiety, in fact, is a childhood epidemic, effecting 1 out of every 4 children. Kids of all ages feel pressure...from the expectations around them, inside of them, and even, unknowingly, from us. What can we do to slow the epidemic for kids, in general? And, even more importantly, what can you do to ca…

Listen in as Lisa talks with two single moms about their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Susan chose international adoption. Britani became an adoptive mom through a kinship care foster placement. They speak candidly about the blessings and challenges of being a single adoptive mom and where they find the support they need.Click here to d…

No one likes to fail. But kids with learning differences feel like they’re failing a lot. They always feel like they’re running to catch up with their same-aged peers. Over time, they’re self-esteem sinks lower and lower. Kids with learning differences are painfully aware of the gap between them and their peers. They may struggle socially as a well…

This week we answer listener questions about surviving the holidays:* How do I balance the kids' need for downtime with the anxiety that comes with unscheduled time?* How do you avoid dysregulation over gifts?* Do you have ideas for festive foods that aren't full of sugar?* Any tips on being present, feeling joy, and not resenting what's coming?Cli…

Do you feel isolated or alone in your parenting journey? Do you have trouble connecting with other parents because they don't seem to understand your life? We're celebrating our 200th episode with some friends from The Village, our monthly membership community. They share why they joined and why they stay. They share diversity in how they came to a…

Dealing with frequent and intense meltdowns in preschool and school-aged children can be exhausting! Sometimes they are due to sensory processing challenges. The human brain processes 11 million bits of information every second, which comes in through our eight (not five) senses. Neurodivergence and trauma can bias the brain toward quick, defensive…

When your adoption journey is different than what you expected, there are a lot of ambiguous losses to grieve. Every parent will process and experience grief individually and on their own timeline. This week, Lisa shares five ways to hold onto your marriage, even if grief seems to be tearing you apart.Click here to download a transcript for this ep…

Every adoptee experiences their story through a unique lens. This week we welcome adoptee, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who hosts the podcast series Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland. Jennifer and Melissa recorded a conversation to be aired on both of their podcasts where they both explore their stories using the wisdom of the Enneagram. Jennifer is a firm…

This week we answer listener questions such as:* How can I be compassionate towards my child's behaviors without letting them fall into victimhood?* Is my bar too low?* Will my transracially adopted child feel more isolated if he's the only person of color in our family?* What are the pros and cons of Job Corps for older teens?Click here to downloa…