You know the feeling: when you lock eyes and the look lingers just a little too long. His hand brushes over his fly. And boom! A small smile confirms it: You're about to be cruising, my king! And all it took was a public park, centuries of sexual shame, and a little bit of courage to get you there... Now it's no surprise that the elegant and much-e…

He fiddled while Rome burned. He married two men. He may even have kicked his pregnant wife to death. But he ALSO invented animal pelt kink, so could he have been THAT BAD?! This week, Bash is joined by classicist and queer historian, Professor Andrew Lear, to discuss the scandalous, salacious, and slanderous life of Emperor Nero — Ancient Rome’s m…

🏴‍☠️ Before there was BRAT, there were Butt Pirates. 🏴‍☠️ This week we're hoisting our slutty sails – that's what I call my underpants – to plunder the treacherous homosexual deep, with pirate historian and author Dr. Rebecca Simon (Pirate Queens; The Pirate’s Code) to answer the age-old question: Why are men on a ship always kinda gay? First of al…

Leonardo da Vinci? More like Leonardo da Fist Me. We've all heard of the man behind the Mona Lisa. But did you know he was also one of Florence's sodomitical sweethearts? In this episode, we pull back the vajazzled curtain on Leonardo da Vinci to reveal a homo neither tormented nor repressed, suffering dramatically for his art, but a messy, charism…

Hot, rich, European, emotionally unavailable... sound familiar? It's your Hinge profile all over again. No, silly, it's vampires! We are thrilled to welcome back folklorist and queer historian, Sacha Coward (author of Queer as Folklore) this week, as we trace the gloriously queer history of vampires—from ancient blood-sucking demons to modern brood…

Heads up! This is the episode where we solve gender. Famously a "construct," it turns out Mx. Gender has been around for hundreds of thousands of years. This podcast is only 70 minutes long so we're sticking to the last 5,000... but still. Not bad. Join Bash and his honoured guests this week – Kit Heyam and Marty Davies – as they delve into the dee…

She was young, she was hot, and she was hated. But did she eat pu$$y? Marie Antoinette was many things: a teen bride, a fashion icon, and according to Sofia Coppola, a big fan of The Strokes (I knew I liked this bitch!) She's famous nowadays for losing her head, but did she also give it? And to whom / with what degree of relish? In this week’s epis…

Once upon a time—aka the 90s, when I bravely decided to be born—gay marriage was the only thing we queers could talk about. But why? Why were we so hell-bent on getting married? And how did the fight for marriage equality impact real people on the ground? In this episode, Bash is joined by writer and memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, author of Deep Ho…

Imagine a world where you're Russian, gay, and happy about it. No this is not propaganda from the ultra-secret "Pinko" department of the Kremlin (they def have one of those). This is the very real story of the magnificent Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, one of the world's greatest composers and a big old homosexual. He wrote the 1812 Overture, The Nutcra…

What's so gay about food? (Besides the fact that you use your mouth for it.) The answer, OF COURSE, lies in 18th century France. In fact, food's sexy origins go even further back, all the way to the ancients: from Eve's naughty apple to Ancient Roman oysters (they made their orgasms more intense!). But it was the invention of the restaurant in 18th…

Why do bottoms always die in Greek mythology? If you're a fan of Greek myth, you know the gods love to act like humans: they love, they fuck, they fight...they throw dinner parties. But they also love to kill us. When gods show up on Earth, it typically means someone's about to get pregnant or dead, real quick. (Or both.) And the pattern holds for …

The year is 1395. The city: London. The crime: an "unmentionable, ignominious vice" commonly known as sodomy. And the perp? A rascally, resourceful enigma named John Rykener, who enters the court records "calling herself Eleanor," wearing women's clothes, and defying gravity / everything we know about medieval gender. But John/Eleanor Rykener – or …

What comes after the collapse of capitalism? Mass famine? Global war? Environmental destruction? Oh wait, all of that's already happening! It seems like, as a species, we're at a bit of a breaking point. Which means revolution is afoot, and we have to wonder: what the hell happens when it gets here? For most of us, though, it's not easy to project …

What if it's actually your butthole that will lead the revolution? This week, we're getting penetratingly political with writer and podcaster Josh Rivers (⁠Busy Being Black⁠), as we explore the radical legacy of Mario Mieli's ⁠Towards a Gay Communism⁠. Here's the thing: Capitalism doesn't just steal your time and money—it also reinforces the gender…

We're back my little Hormones! Join Bash and his heavy flow of genius guests this season for another no-fucks-given romp through humanity's Big Gay Past. (We all have one!) Come for the history, stay for the laughs, and if you're lucky, leave with a boner. Please note: Erectile Gift With Purchase (EGWP) not guaranteed. First cum, first served. We'l…

Happy Hole-idays, my little Hormones! For our last episode of the year, we welcome Coco, the Time Traveling Slut, into your tight little earholes to answer some eternally pressing questions: Where do sluts come from? Have gay men always been promiscuous? Have lesbians not? Who were the greatest skanks in history? And why can't women f*ck in peace, …

“Being transgender is the least important thing about me. I’m a person. I’m just a person” – Conner, 18, college student from Ohio Ever wondered what it’s like to be a trans kid in America today? (Hint: it f*cking sucks.) Groups on the right and their politicians use trans kids as pawns in the political game of vote and media attention. And they lo…

Quit playing with your Lincoln log and listen up, because President Abraham Lincoln is here, he's queer, and we all better get used to it! Lincoln is commonly called the greatest president in American history: but what if he was also frequently in love with men? What if he slept with them in bed for years of his life? What if he had moved to Fire I…

"I live life in the margins of society. And the rules of normal society don't apply in the margins." Welcome to the saucy, scandalous slag-paradise that is Tamara de Lempicka (1898-1980)! Tamara was a Polish-born aristocrat, bisexual painter, and Art Deco diva who took Paris by storm in the 1920s after escaping the Russian Revolution. She was known…

Wait, why are mermaids so gay? It turns out everyone’s favorite sea-gals have been floating around for millennia, from ancient Syrian mer-goddesses to medieval water witches, all the way up to Princess Ariel. But how did these dangerous divas of the deep become the sympathetic heroines we love and cherish today? What is it about mermaids that makes…

How do you start a renaissance? The one woman who knows - Beyoncé - was unavailable to answer my questions. So instead, we've gone back to 1920s Harlem this week, to figure out the good gay truth. It turns out the Harlem Renaissance was a lot more queer than we learned in school. And half of its greatest luminaries, who represented a major step for…

“I wake up cold, I who Prospered through dreams of heat Wake to their residue, Sweat, and a clinging sheet.” (The Man with Night Sweats, Thom Gunn, 1992) Never heard of Thom Gunn? Me neither! That's because straight people want to destroy us. Thom was one of the great poets of the 20th century, up there with Philip Larkin and Ted Hughes. But he's s…

"'Cosmus is a great big cinaedus. He keeps his legs apart and sucks d!ck.' ... I believe that's almost a direct paraphrase." – Professor Tom Sapsford, quoting Ancient Roman graffiti about my biological ancestors Kinaidos (or cinaedus in Latin) was the Ancient Greek word for a depraved, unmanly man who liked to get railed. (LIKE MEEEEE.) Since then,…

“Who knows how many holes actually started wars in Japan…I’m sure many.” – Dylan Adler, Japanese-Jewish comedian to the stars! Join us this week on a rip-roaring ride through Japan's hole-tighteningly gay history. From Buddhist pederasts to sissy samurais and beyond, we explore the kimonos, the scroll paintings, and yes, the hemorrhoidal humor that…

I've been talking about gay men for FAR too many episodes recently, so please enjoy this summer repeat of one of my favorite episodes ever from Season 1, with my former co-host Donal Brophy. Virginia Woolf is the more famous author today, but back in the 1920s and 30s, it was her lover and socialite-best-friend (God I need one of those), Vita Sackv…

Is it toxic for a Roman emperor to steal a child from his home, give him all the riches of the world, groom him, and then maybe ask him to kill himself so that he can live? That is what we seek to uncover. The Emperor Hadrian (AD 76 - 138) was one of the not-too-f*cked-up emperors. He liked soldiering but not war, astrology, being gay, hunting, and…

Get in b*tch, we're having an Ancient Greek kiki! We're back, baby! Join us as we navigate the wine-dark and wine-soaked symposia of Ancient Greece, to discover what exactly was so gay about these all-male drinking parties. (Hint: a lot.) We cover ancient party planning, gay glassware, reclining etiquette, drunken flirting, and all the subtle arts …

Historical Homos is celebrating its one year anniversary! Like any Mother worth her salt, I forgot my child was turning 1 last month. It's been one year of Historical Homos, and there have been so many milestones, amazing episodes, dramas, traumas, small wins, and long mental health breaks that it feels like my baby child should be shipping off to …

For more from Historical Homos, you can join our cult at www.historicalhomos.com and follow us on Instagram and TikTok. If you like what you hear, please leave us a five star rating on Apple or Spotify. Do it. Yeahhhhhh just like that. This episode was written and researched by Bash, hosted by Bash, and edited by Alex Toskas. Guest host: Andrew Lea…

"There are a particular gang of sodomitical wretches in this town..." Did you ever wonder why British men are always just a little...you know...? Well, in truth, it's because 300 years ago they invented being a "gentleman" (gay) who doesn't work (GAY) and just wants nicer things (GAY GAY GAY!). But round about the same time the British invented bei…

It's the Cricket Episode! Featuring one of the most egregious decisions ever made in this definitely not real court. Like, listening back, I'm like "how did you even think that that would be the right conclusion to draw" like who even thinks that?! Like seriously! Man, F this S.

"All male, all-whale orgies"...need I say more? We're back with another extra special episode for Pride Month 2024! And this one is a DOOZY, my little Hormones. First of all, let me just say..."You know you're gay right?" That's my impression of me talking to every living animal on this good, green Earth. Because it turns out animals have been gay …

"Gay didn't always exist, but 'bottom' kind of did!" How did people douche back in the day? Did they have lube? And how'd they find other gays to get off with? In a turn of events that will shock absolutely no one, history is FULL of queer men doing the deed. We boinked, we douched, we lubed, we bathed, and we cruised – long before today's modern l…

The Trivial Trial returns in the safest of hands (Judge Jack's), as he sifts through Sebastian's harrowing story, stresses through Raghu's, and delivers one of his "most incredible" (self-proclaimed) deliberations yet. With special thanks to Apple's Jonathan Ive, who catches a sensational number of strays with this episode.…

"And what we have to get into our heads, although it is difficult, is that [the] glamour of love, odd as it may sound, is just as much present between two homosexuals as it is between a man and a woman." - Lord Brabazon of Tara, House of Lords, December 1957 What was it like to be a (practicing) gay man in London after the Second World War? I thoug…

PERIOD PIECE is back! Lucy returns, with her flow in tow, for another historical film that I mansplain to her because education 👏 never 👏 stops. This month, we're digging into MAESTRO, Bradley Cooper's biopic about the glorious, complicated, and very gay star conductor of the 20th century: Leonard Bernstein. Lenny was so much more than Gigi Hadid's…

"Saint Sebastian is really just a Bored Office Twink." – R. Eric Thomas (April 2024) Welcome to the wildly erotic, superheroic world of Saint Sebastian, who was initially martyred as a rugged Roman soldier before he blossomed into the lithe, Lana-Del-Rey-loving twink we cherish today. Scientists now know it was the extremely gay Italian Renaissance…

"And it is well-known that the King of England f*cks the Duke of Buckingham." – Theophile de Viau (1628) If you've been watching Mary & George on STARZ, then you must be desperate to know how much of it is true. And the answer, my curious queers, is: a lot! George Villiers, the scheming twink who dominated King James I's court, was hot and 100% DTF…

Long live Queen James I of England! James, as our guest Guy Branum notes this week, was always a little “dyke-y”. Obsessed with love and relationships, she ruled Scotland and England entirely from her heart – and through her loins. James was known above all for promoting his male favourites to intolerable positions of power and wealth. The rest of …

Trivial Trials has rebranded to the name it always should have been! Jack recounts sexy childhood trauma, Sebastian reads out a doozy, and Raghu dissects us as always.

Welcome to our queer book club! Here's your cat and gluten-free martini, please have a seat. This week we're discussing Virginia Woolf's suicide (it's my Roman Empire), giant red leather dildos, and the realization that sex between women may be the greatest threat to masculinity in 10,000 years. You'll find it all and more, you greedy guts, in our …

Historical Homos is back! This week we cover George Sand, who was, get this, a woman! And a writer! And queer! George wrote over 70 novels and plays between 1804 and 1876, during which she witnessed the rise and fall of SEVEN political regimes in France. When she wasn't busy writing about women's oppression and worker's rights, she was actively rub…

Welcome to Season 3, Hormones! Bash is thrilled to be sharing the mic this week with a dear friend and hysterical comedia, Rachel Joravsky, to talk about a fascinating and oft-overlooked group: Ancient. Jewish. Lesbians. Rachel is a TV writer, comedian, activist, educator, and self-acclaimed "power Jewess," so naturally we took a gay look at The Bo…

Welcome to PERIOD PIECE, our new monthly feature where Lucy is on her period and Bash makes her watch a historical film. Because education 👏 never 👏 stops. This week, we're reviewing an old favorite called "The Favourite" (God, I'm a poet). Starring Rachel Weisz, Olivia Colman, and Emma Stone, this sultry romp follows an alleged love triangle that …

The Trivial Trial returns, with the help of one of our many loyal listener.

Where the F do gendered bathrooms come from? To literally no one’s surprise, public bathrooms only became available to people who are not cis men a couple hundred years ago. Because guess what? If you can't pee in public, you can't BE in public for very long. The lack of public restrooms for women in particular has been a central and often-overlook…

Wilkommen, bienvenue! Actually just bienvenue. Because yes, we are once again plunging you into another insufferably French episode, where Bash and Lucy compete for the "Best Francophone" Award no one offered. This week, we examine the life, luxuries, and labial exploits of Françoise Raucourt, one of 18th century Paris' most iconic lesbian actresse…

China has loved the "passion of the cut sleeve" - an ancient euphemism for dude-on-dude dicking - since the literal Han Dynasty (the era not the restaurant). Beautiful stories abound in Chinese literature and history of queer love, from doting emperors to divine influencers in the spirit world. We are of course primarily concerned with the latter. …

It's time to ruin that Columbussy! This week we are trampling on the reviled memory of Christopher Columbus, in honor of the Queer Indigenous Peoples of the Americas who are - say it with me - MUCH, MUCH COOLER. Bitchy Bash is joined by Illiterate Lucy to explore the five genders of Indigenous civilizations, the rise of the berdache and one "Namele…

Ladies and gentler ladies, please welcome your new Historical Homos co-host: Lucy Hendra! Lucy is bravely and openly straight, a woman (technically), and has seen every episode of Vanderpump Rules ever written. (Yes, written. #WGAStrong) Now, why does that qualify her to be on this podcast? No one knows, and no one cares. Least of all our subject t…