#24- Why ‘Only Compare Yourself to Yourself’ Isn’t the Answer

Project Confidence

#Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Kathie Gwilliam

33:20

ChatGPT Agent is here! ↳ What the heck is it? ↳ How does it work? ↳ What do you need to know? Glad you asked, shorties. Join us for the answers. Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business—without any long-term commitments. And why wait? Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/jordan. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Newsletter: Sign up for our free daily newsletter More on this Episode: Episode Page Join the discussion: Thoughts on this? Join the convo and connect with other AI leaders on LinkedIn. Upcoming Episodes: Check out the upcoming Everyday AI Livestream lineup Website: YourEverydayAI.com Email The Show: info@youreverydayai.com Connect with Jordan on LinkedIn Topics Covered in This Episode: ChatGPT Agent Mode Overview & Naming Live ChatGPT Agent Demo Walkthrough ChatGPT Agent Mode Availability & Pricing Operator vs. Deep Research Capabilities Explained ChatGPT Agent Virtual Computer Functions Spreadsheet and PowerPoint Generation in ChatGPT Mini RAG-Ready Agents with Data Connectors ChatGPT Agent Security and Biological Risk Classification Timestamps: 00:00 "Introducing ChatGPT Agent" 03:41 Potential Delay for Paid Plan Rollout 09:24 "Chat GPT Agent: New Tools Overview" 12:44 OpenAI-Microsoft Tensions Over Software Overlap 16:42 "ChatGPT's New RAG Feature Unveiled" 21:55 AI Agent with Weapon Risk 23:31 Agent Models: Boon or Bane? 29:05 "Agent Mode: Seamless Editing Integration" Keywords: ChatGPT Agent, Agent Mode, OpenAI, virtual computer, Agentic skills, Operator, Deep Research, browsing websites, web research, synthesizing information, Microsoft competitor, PowerPoint creation, Excel spreadsheet creation, terminal access, public API integration, connectors, data analysis, image generation, multi-agent environments, retrieval augmented generation, mini RAG, AI operating system, human-in-the-loop, security concerns, biology classifier, biological weapons classification, chemical weapons classification, O3 model, Google Gemini 2.5 Pro, agentic models, AI workflows, editable slide deck, Microsoft Office alternative, AI-powered presentations, spreadsheet automation, cloud-based agents, AI task automation, calendar integration, Gmail connector, Send Everyday AI and Jordan a text message. (We can't reply back unless you leave contact info) Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business—without any long-term commitments. And why wait? Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/jordan. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.…

about a year ago 13:13

MP3•Episode home

We’ve all heard the advice: “Only compare yourself to yourself.” But what if self-comparison is just as harmful as comparing yourself to others? In this episode, I break down why measuring your current self against your past self can be an unfair and unrealistic expectation. Circumstances change, knowledge grows, and progress isn’t always linear. Instead of self-comparison, I’ll share how self-appreciation and recognition can help you move forward with confidence and grace.

38 episodes

#24- Why ‘Only Compare Yourself to Yourself’ Isn’t the Answer

Project Confidence

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

38 episodes

#Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Kathie Gwilliam

All episodes

1
#37 - The Summer You Don't See on Instagram 15:41

23 days ago15:41

15:41

In this episode of Project Confidence , Kathie gets real about the pressure to have a “perfect summer,” especially when everyone else’s feeds are full of waterfalls, beach days, and golden-hour glow. She shares her own behind-the-scenes moments, from falling and straining a muscle to kids bickering over snacks and a phone that took an unexpected swim. Social media might show the sunshine, but it rarely shows the stress, mess, and everyday chaos. Tune in to hear why comparing your summer to someone else’s highlight reel can steal your joy, and how to reclaim it with appreciation, gratitude, and confidence in your own unique story.…

1
#36 - The Cost of Comparison at Work 15:22

30 days ago15:22

15:22

In this episode of Project Confidence , we delve into how comparison in the workplace, particularly when it becomes ingrained in company culture, can subtly undermine collaboration, morale, and employee retention. While some comparison is natural behind closed doors during hiring or promotions, bringing it out into the open (like public rankings or performance charts) can do more harm than good. I share a real-life story about a company that posted everyone's billable hours each week, hoping to inspire productivity, but instead it sparked rivalry, project hoarding, and burnout. Rather than motivating employees, it created a toxic environment where competition replaced connection. Tune in for practical tips on how to remove harmful comparison from your workplace and build a culture of collaboration, appreciation, and shared success.…

1
#35 - The Masculine Side of the Comparison Trap 16:53

5 weeks ago16:53

16:53

Comparison isn’t just a woman’s issue—it’s a human one. This week on Project Confidence, we’re exploring how men experience comparison. It often hides behind ambition or the pressure to succeed, disguised as the rat race, the trophy wife, the perfect body, or the high-paying job. From status and career to sports and fatherhood, comparison affects men in powerful and harmful ways. Recognizing it is the first step toward rising above it. Tune in and discover how we can all begin to SOAR past it.…

1
#34 - Coaching Without Comparison: The Power of AIR in Our Leadership 12:01

6 weeks ago12:01

12:01

In this episode, Kathie shares two contrasting stories of youth soccer coaches, one who used comparison to motivate, leaving his players discouraged and defeated, and another who turned the game around by using appreciation, inspiration, and recognition. You’ll learn how powerful a leader's words can be, and how replacing comparison with encouragement can shift a team’s energy, build confidence, and lead to greater connection and performance. Whether you’re coaching on the field, in the workplace, or at home, this episode will help you lead with impact , without comparison.…

1
#33 - Try It a New Way: When Comparison Keeps Showing Up 11:59

7 weeks ago11:59

11:59

Have you ever loved something, but comparison kept stealing your joy? In this episode of Project Confidence , Kathie shares a personal story about starting Zumba and how constant comparison to the more experienced dancers nearly ruined it for her. Despite showing up week after week, the insecurity didn’t go away… until she tried something different: she moved to the front of the room. Sometimes, when comparison keeps showing up in the same setting, the solution isn’t to push through; it’s to change the way you engage with it. Whether it’s shifting your physical space, your focus, or your habits, doing things a new way can help you reclaim the joy and confidence that comparison tries to take. Tune in to hear how this small change made a big difference, and learn how to apply the same principle to your own life.…

1
#32- Competing Without Comparing 13:18

8 weeks ago13:18

13:18

In this episode, Kathie shares a powerful story from a family race where her youngest daughter crossed the finish line last—and proudly declared, “I’m the last winner!” It’s a reminder we all need: competition doesn’t have to come with comparison. Kathie breaks down the difference between healthy competition and harmful comparison, and why tying your self-worth to someone else’s performance is a losing game. You’ll learn how to shift your focus from trying to “win” against others to growing toward your own milestones. Plus, how to let others' success inspire you instead of intimidate you. Whether you're chasing goals in work, parenting, or personal development, this episode will help you stay driven without losing your confidence along the way.…

1
#31 - When You’re Invited to a Comparison Party…Decline the RSVP 10:36

9 weeks ago10:36

10:36

When my daughter came home raving about the crepes she ate at a friend’s house and then said she’d never tried them because I was so lazy, I felt that familiar pang of mom guilt. But instead of spiraling into comparison, I took a step back. In today’s episode, we’re talking about what to do when someone else invites us into a comparison trap. Whether it’s a comment from a child, a post on social media, or a friend’s offhand remark, we always have a choice: to join the comparison or to replace it. We also talk about walking our kids through when they invite us into a comparison. It can be a powerful teaching moment for us all when we talk through the SOAR steps together.…

1
#30 - Finding Confidence in Your Parenthood 13:11

10 weeks ago13:11

13:11

In this episode of Project Confidence , we explore how to let go of the pressure to be super mom (or dad) and find confidence in your parenthood by embracing your unique strengths. Instead of comparing ourselves to the picture-perfect lives we see online or the achievements of other moms, we learn how to recognize what we do well. From being the calm in chaos to the bedtime storyteller or the memory-maker, this episode is a reminder that doing what you do best is more than enough. We also talk about how the myth of “doing it all” is damaging—and how releasing that pressure opens the door to more joy, connection, and confidence in your parenthood journey.…

1
#29 - Turning Comparison into Connection on Social Media 16:09

11 weeks ago16:09

16:09

Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. But just because it naturally happens doesn't mean you have to let it drag you down and drown you in comparison. In this episode of Project Confidence , we explore how to turn social media comparison into meaningful connection. Instead of allowing highlight reels to chip away at your confidence, you’ll learn how to shift your mindset and use socail media to build community, not self-doubt.…

1
#28 - Owning Who You Are (Even in Intimidating Rooms) 15:09

12 weeks ago15:09

15:09

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt like you didn’t belong? Like your title, your role, or your story wasn’t “impressive enough” to matter? In this episode, I’m sharing a time when I shrank myself down and let comparison steal my confidence. I’ll talk about how that mindset affected the way I introduced myself and interacted with others, and how everything changed when I started owning who I am. If you’ve ever struggled to introduce yourself with confidence, especially in intimidating spaces, or quietly held back because you felt like you didn't belong, this one’s for you.…

1
#27 - When Things Don't Go As Planned 12:25

13 weeks ago12:25

12:25

In this episode, I share a personal story about how our big spring break plans to hike and sandboard in Southern Utah were suddenly canceled when my son broke his foot just days before the trip. What started as a huge disappointment turned into a beautiful reminder: life doesn’t always go as planned—but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be meaningful. We explore how to honor your feelings when things fall apart, the power of pivoting with purpose, and how choosing appreciation for what is —instead of comparing it to what you hoped for —can lift you out of lingering disappointment. If you’ve ever had to shift gears and reimagine your expectations, this episode is for you.…

1
#26 - Replacing the Story in Our Heads 15:40

14 weeks ago15:40

15:40

In this follow-up to "Maybe They're Not Stuck Up," we explore how to shift out of insecure thought spirals and into a more confident, compassionate mindset. When we catch ourselves making assumptions—like thinking someone is ignoring us or doesn’t like us—it’s often our insecurity talking, not reality. By grounding ourselves in what we actually know and staying curious instead of jumping to conclusions, we not only boost our confidence but also extend more kindness to others. This mindset shift can change how we see ourselves, our relationships, and even our everyday interactions.…

1
#25 - Maybe They're Not Stuck Up: Dismantling the Hierarchy in Our Heads 12:48

15 weeks ago12:48

12:48

Have you ever assumed someone was uninterested in being your friend, only to later realize they were just shy or unsure how to connect? In this episode, I share two personal stories—one from high school when I felt like an outsider in the school play, and another about a surprising nickname I had in my neighborhood. Both experiences taught me an important lesson: people aren’t necessarily distant or unkind; we often just don’t know them well enough to understand what they’re feeling. Instead of jumping to conclusions based on our own expectations, what if we assumed less and made space for understanding? Let’s talk about how giving people the benefit of the doubt can change the way we see—and connect with—them.…

1
#24- Why ‘Only Compare Yourself to Yourself’ Isn’t the Answer 13:13

16 weeks ago13:13

13:13

1
#23 - Beyond the Bounce-Back: Changing the Way We Speak to New Moms 15:14

17 weeks ago15:14

15:14

New moms are constantly bombarded with comments about their bodies—whether it’s praise for a flat stomach or admiration for not “bouncing back.” While these compliments seem kind, they actually reinforce the harmful idea that a woman’s appearance is more important than her well-being. In this episode, we break down why body-focused praise puts undue pressure on new moms , how it feeds into unrealistic expectations, and why we need to shift our words toward supporting their healing, strength, and new journey into motherhood. It’s time to change the conversation. Let’s celebrate new moms for who they are, not how they look, and offer support for the overwhelming new role they have just stepped into.…

Project Confidence

1
#22 - Show Up, Not Done Up: Embracing Yourself in Every Form 15:39

18 weeks ago15:39

15:39

Have you ever apologized for simply existing as you are? In this episode, I share a personal story about nearly forgetting lunch with my daughter—and showing up just as I was, in workout clothes and no makeup. I also talk about my neighbor who felt the need to apologize for being in PJs while borrowing butter. Why do we compare our ‘done-up’ selves to our natural state and judge one as less worthy? It’s time to break free from that mindset. You are valuable in all your forms. You can still show up, even when you’re not done up.…

Project Confidence

1
#1 - Why You Sometimes Feel Like Nothing Special (And How to Change That) 9:00

18 weeks ago9:00

9:00

Comparison naturally creeps into our lives, wreaking havoc on our confidence and contentment, but just because it's natural doesn't mean we have to let it stay.

Project Confidence

1
#21 - The Cellulite Scam: The Truth Behind This Body Myth 14:14

19 weeks ago14:14

14:14

Did you know cellulite was considered normal and even beautiful until someone decided to make money off "fixing" it? In this episode, we dive into the history of this "flaw" that was never a problem—until marketing told us it was. When we uncover the truth behind beauty standards, we can acknowledge unfair comparisons and more easily replace them with appreciation for the amazing things our bodies do.…

Project Confidence

1
#20 - From Self-Doubt to Stage Confidence: A Time I Used SOAR to Overcome Comparison 10:35

20 weeks ago10:35

10:35

When I made the top ten in the Last Story Standing competition, I was excited! And then came the comparison and doubt. I was up against pros, and comparison started to steal my confidence. But instead of letting it win, I used the SOAR method to shift from self-doubt to self-assurance. In this episode, I share a real life experience of how I used SOAR in my every day life, leading me to step on stage feeling confident and comparison-free.…

Project Confidence

1
#19 - The Problem with Pretty: Why We Need Better Compliments 13:44

21 weeks ago13:44

13:44

We compliment girls and women on their looks without thinking—it's automatic. But what if our words are fueling comparison, objectification, and insecurity? In this episode, we challenge the habit of body-focused compliments and explore how praising skills, talents, and character instead can build confidence and self-worth. Let’s shift the conversation and start seeing people for who they are, not just how they look.…

Project Confidence

1
# 18 - Better Than Who? The Problem with Comparison-Based Praise 11:12

22 weeks ago11:12

11:12

Compliments that compare someone to others don’t build true confidence—they create a fragile sense of worth based on being “better” than someone else, which can easily crumble. To give compliments that truly uplift, we need to remove comparisons and focus on recognizing individual strengths and effort.…

Project Confidence

1
# 17 - The Power of Pure Compliments: Uplifting Others Without Putting Yourself Down 12:54

23 weeks ago12:54

12:54

Compliments have the power to change lives—but not all compliments are created equal. In this episode of Project Confidence, we explore how self-deprecating compliments can shift the focus from celebrating someone else's strengths to highlighting our own insecurities. Instead of building confidence, they invite comparison. We often think this kind of self-downplay is humility, but true humility doesn’t require us to diminish ourselves to lift others.…

Project Confidence

1
#16 - Lessons From A Sunburn: Learning to Love My Body 14:17

24 weeks ago14:17

14:17

Body comparisons are so common—but what are they costing you? In this episode, I share how constantly comparing my pale skin to my tan friends led me to a painful lesson and years of insecurity. But a little boy's words changed my perspective on how I should view my body. Join me as I reveal a simple yet powerful daily challenge that will transform the way you view yourself—helping you embrace confidence and appreciation for the body you have.…

Project Confidence

1
#15 - What's In a Name? - Why I Rebranded 10:37

25 weeks ago10:37

10:37

Dive into why I originally chose the word "canceling" and its powerful role in overcoming comparison. While effective, I’ve realized some may see it as negative, and I want to shift the focus to the positive outcome: building confidence. That’s why I’m introducing Project Confidence—a name that highlights an ongoing, intentional action to grow in confidence by letting go of comparison.…

Project Confidence

1
#14 - Celebrating You 15:18

26 weeks ago15:18

15:18

In this episode, we explore how to break free from harmful comparisons that make you say "just" by identifying the root of the comparison and shifting the focus to self-recognition. Life is better when you celebrate you.

Project Confidence

1
#13 - Stop Saying "Just" - How This One Word Undermines Your Confidence 12:34

27 weeks ago12:34

12:34

In this episode, I share a personal story about a job interview where I called my businesses "just hobbies," only to realize how that one word diminished my achievements. "Just" often reflects our insecurities—downplaying choices we think others might not value. By removing "just" from our language, we stop inviting comparison, embrace where we are, and build confidence in our journey.…

Project Confidence

1
#12 - Helping Kids Replace Comparison with Inspiration 11:32

30 weeks ago11:32

11:32

In this episode, I share a story about my daughter comparing her backflip skills to her younger sister’s, leading to frustration and self-doubt. Together, we unpacked how comparison was unfair—her sister trains in gymnastics, giving her an advantage. By shifting from comparison to inspiration, my daughter asked for help, and they worked together to improve. I’ll show how using the SOAR method can guide kids to replace comparison with inspiration, leading to growth and connection.…

Project Confidence

1
# 11 - Inspired to Try 10:12

31 weeks ago10:12

10:12

My daughter’s first glimpse of gymnastics inspired her to learn instead of feeling discouraged. Her growth mindset led her to discover a passion for something new. As adults, we often let comparison stop us from trying, but adopting a mindset of inspiration can open doors to joy and growth. Tune in for tips on turning comparison into curiosity, celebrating others, and rediscovering the thrill of learning.…

Project Confidence

1
#10 - The Joneses Won’t Make You Happy 14:09

32 weeks ago14:09

14:09

Keeping Up With the Joneses is a real struggle for many. In this episode, we dive into the phrase's origins, tell a relatable story we can all learn from, and explore two studies that show people prefer feeling better than their neighbors over being financially secure.

Project Confidence

1
#9 - The Cost of Comparison: What is Comparison Holding You Back From? 11:57

33 weeks ago11:57

11:57

In this episode, I share a personal story from my writing journey—how comparing myself to what I thought an author "should" be almost stopped me from submitting my books for publication. My struggles with spelling made me doubt my worthiness, but overcoming that fear opened doors to incredible opportunities. What could comparison be costing you?…

Project Confidence

1
#8 - The DM That Changed Everything: How Appreciation Breaks the Comparison Cycle 9:48

34 weeks ago9:48

9:48

In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about a message that changed my perspective. At a time when I was stuck in self-doubt and comparison, a heartfelt DM thanking me for my book gave me the confidence to believe in myself again. Appreciation isn’t just good for you—it has the power to free both the giver and receiver from the trap of comparison.…

Project Confidence

1
#7 - The Power of Appreciation 12:14

35 weeks ago12:14

12:14

Appreciation is a powerful antidote to comparison, healing self-doubt and shifting our mindset from jealousy to gratitude. When we truly value what others bring to the table, it creates a strong, nonthreatening foundation for connection. Appreciation is the "A" in the AIR section of our SOAR program—an essential step to removing comparison from your life and embracing genuine connection.…

Project Confidence

1
#6 - Different Priorities, Same Table: Letting Go of Comparison Around the Holiday Table 15:47

36 weeks ago15:47

15:47

How to avoid letting differing points of view ruin the holidays with your family. This week, we will explore what comparisons lead to tension and strained relationships at family get-togethers and offer some tips to avoid that bitterness from building.

Project Confidence

1
#5 - Say Goodbye to Comparison: The SOAR Blueprint to Becoming Your Best Self 17:11

37 weeks ago17:11

17:11

Comparison is natural, but that doesn't mean we must accept and keep comparative thoughts coming our way. You can choose to replace them! Listen to learn my four-step SOAR process—a method I've used for 20 years to overcome comparison and find contentment. It works!

Project Confidence

1
#4 - How Entertainment and Media Fuel the Comparison Trap (Without Us Even Noticing) 14:41

38 weeks ago14:41

14:41

In this episode, we dive into how the entertainment and media we consume subtly shape our perceptions and encourage comparison. From camera angles and lighting that highlight "ideal" bodies to comparative marketing that convinces us that happiness is only a purchase away comparison is subtly being sold. We also explore how aging is portrayed as something to fear and fight against—all to keep us spending money. Finally, we discuss how inflammatory news promotes comparative thinking.…

Project Confidence

1
#3 - It is Never Fair: The Truth About Social Comparison 11:47

39 weeks ago11:47

11:47

One important truth to embrace is that no social comparison is ever fair. Each of us is a unique individual, shaped by countless factors that contribute to both our strengths and weaknesses. To compare ourselves to each other is simply not fair.

Project Confidence

1
#2 - The Habit You Have That Makes You Either Vain or Bitter 11:42

40 weeks ago11:42