24. 3 Most Common Reasons Behind Bedtime Anxiety (and What to Do About It)

Learn with Dr. Emily

As a child psychologist working with families for over 20 years, here are the top three most common issues that get in the way of kids getting good sleep and my tips for getting back on track.

All parents know that sleep is important. No one knows sleep deprivation like a new parent with an infant who wakes every two to three hours to be fed or changed. I recall five hours of sleep being my personal threshold for feeling human in those early days of parenthood. Less than five hours of sleep and I was nearly non-functional. That’s because sleep is the great regulator. Without it, we struggle to maintain our attention, regulate our emotions, and manage our energy.

This is why the first thing I ask parents before we dive into figuring why a child might be struggling with something new is this: “How are they sleeping?”

Everyone has their own threshold for sleep, kids included. In case you’re wondering, here are the daily sleep amounts for kids and teens recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Many autistic children and teens are even more sensitive to the emotional and sensory impacts of not getting enough sleep. Children and teens with ADHD can struggle to wind down and fall asleep which often impacts family dynamics at bedtime. And, of course, children who are anxious may experience their most intense worries when the lights go out.

We've all read about the negative impact of not enough sleep for kids and teens. And, we all know that when children are well-rested, they are better able to remain emotionally regulated when things don't go their way, they are able to access learning by remaining engaged in the classroom, and they are generally happier.

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