Chapter 19: Conan O'Brien's Diminishing Returns

Unstoppable Farce; The Mitch Maloney Story

Mitch makes the rounds of all the popular late night chat shows.

Endnotes:

1. “Marlon Bundo” with Jill Twiss, A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo (Chronicle Books, San Francisco, 2018) An audacious statement on societal inclusivity, employing a metaphorical layering akin to the works of postmodern deconstructionists, a critique of the infantilization of the literary world. Slack Score: 11; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 71
2. Jimmy Fallon, Your Babies First Word Will be Dada (Feiwel and Friends, New York, 2015) A deconstruction of phonetics, subverting language into a world where meaning is elusive and language is presented as a fragmented system. The seemingly chaotic string of sounds presented as the child’s first words parallels the avant-garde's challenge to linguistic precision. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 2; Overall FCA ranking: 43
3. Seth Myers, I’m Not Scared, You’re Scared (Flamingo Books, New York, 2022) A navigation of the disorienting terrain of self-perception, the dialogue itself oscillates between a strange, almost surreal repetition of thoughts, as though the characters are trapped in a loop of denial and confrontation — much like the cyclical nature of fear itself. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 12.5; Overall FCA ranking: 169
4. Stephen Colbert, I Am A Pole (and So Can You), (Spartina, New York, 2012) In this surrealist work, the reader is asked to engage in an almost Sisyphean act of identification: the protagonist, a figure who, through sheer assertion, becomes a "Pole," Through a chaotic blend of humor and paradox, I’m a Pole (and So Can You!) disrupts the reader’s expectations, presenting identity not as a fact but as an ever-shifting, often absurd construct. Slack Score: 13; Snark Score: 14; Overall FCA ranking: 78
5. Jimmy Kimmel, The Serious Goose, (Random House, New York, 2019) The progressive, almost hypnotic attempts by the reader (or rather, the characters in the book) to force the goose to smile mirror the struggle between the human desire for emotional expression and the societal pressures to remain “serious." Slack Score: 2; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 36
6. Amber Ruffin, Sidney the Squirrel Doesn’t Fit In (Brightstar Tales, Oklahoma City, 2025) The acorn, traditionally a symbol of growth and potential, is something Sidney is unable to "digest" in the same way as his peers. The “tree of conformity” where all other squirrels gather confines Sidney’s sense of self. His inability to fit in is not merely a social issue, but a philosophical one: is the need to fit in an authentic desire or an imposition of artificial conformity? Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 11; Overall FCA ranking: 57
7. Conan O’Brien,Floyd the Flamingo Who Couldn't Stop Dancing, (Sprinklewood Press, Modesto, 2026) Floyd’s dance becomes both a figurative “dance of death,” as he can never escape the invisible chains of social approval. O'Brien challenges the reader to reconsider the true cost of “fitting in” and whether perpetual performance is a path to freedom or a cage of self-doubt. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 9.5; Overall FCA ranking: 110
8. Jon Stewart, Naked Pictures of Famous People (Harper-Collins, New York, 1998) Stewart’s manipulation of famous historical and pop culture figures often distances them from their real-world counterparts, forcing readers to confront the notion that fame itself is a form of performance, a simulation of identity rather than an expression of authentic selfhood. Slack Score: 12.5; Snark Score: 15; Overall FCA ranking: 24