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Looking for mom in all the wrong places: The Profound Journey of Internal Mothering with Dr. Nedra Fetterman
Manage episode 476609175 series 3599896
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What does it mean to mother ourselves, and why might this be one of the most important relationships we'll ever develop? Dr. Nedra Fetterman joins the Relationship Blueprint podcast to explore the profound impact of our earliest experiences with caregivers and how these shape our internal dialogue throughout adulthood.
Dr. Fetterman, a psychologist and Imago faculty member, shares her personal journey of growing up with a teenage mother who, despite physical presence, was emotionally unavailable. Through this lens, she introduces us to the concept of the "mother wound" - the lasting impact of not receiving the nurturing, validation, and empathy we needed in our formative years. This wound affects how we treat ourselves now, often manifesting as harsh self-criticism, difficulty identifying our needs, or using unhealthy coping mechanisms to fill an emotional void.
Drawing fascinating parallels to classic fairy tales like Cinderella, Snow White, and The Wizard of Oz - stories where mothers are notably absent or inadequate - Dr. Fetterman suggests these narratives may unconsciously prepare children for navigating a world where perfect mothering isn't guaranteed. The real magic happens when she reveals her framework of the "five children within" - distinct emotional parts she identifies as the hurt child, anxious child, angry child, depressed child, and shame child. Her powerful metaphor of keeping these emotional "children" safely buckled in the backseat while your wise, adult self drives the car provides an actionable approach to self-regulation.
Whether you experienced wonderful mothering or carry wounds from childhood, this conversation offers transformative insights into developing a compassionate relationship with all parts of yourself. As Dr. Fetterman beautifully states, "With every step you take, you're with the love of your life—yourself." Listen now to discover how becoming your own good-enough mother might be the most healing journey you'll ever undertake.
Sign up for Nedra's brilliant course for therapists at the Higher Thought Institute's website: htilearn.com
Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at [email protected] for questions or to be a guest on the show!
Chapters
1. Introduction to Dr. Nedra Fetterman (00:00:00)
2. Original Joy and Childhood Wounding (00:03:20)
3. Fairy Tales and Missing Mothers (00:08:05)
4. The Grief of Motherhood and Letting Go (00:12:50)
5. Repairing the Mother Wound (00:18:07)
6. The Five Children Within Us (00:32:05)
7. Becoming a Good Mother to Yourself (00:36:33)
8. The Good Duckling and Self-Acceptance (00:43:25)
9. Closing Thoughts and Upcoming Workshop (00:46:51)
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