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All About Change


1 Tiffany Yu — Smashing Stereotypes and Building a Disability-Inclusive World 30:23
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Tiffany Yu is the CEO & Founder of Diversability, an award-winning social enterprise to elevate disability pride; the Founder of the Awesome Foundation Disability Chapter, a monthly micro-grant that has awarded $92.5k to 93 disability projects in 11 countries; and the author of The Anti-Ableist Manifesto: Smashing Stereotypes, Forging Change, and Building a Disability-Inclusive World. As a person with visible and invisible disabilities stemming from a car crash, Tiffany has built a career on disability solidarity. Now that she has found success, she works to expand a network of people with disabilities and their allies to decrease stigmas around disability and create opportunities for disabled people in America. Episode Chapters 0:00 Intro 1:26 When do we choose to share our disability stories? 4:12 Jay’s disability story 8:35 Visible and invisible disabilities 13:10 What does an ally to the disability community look like? 16:34 NoBodyIsDisposable and 14(c) 21:26 How does Tiffany’s investment banking background shape her advocacy? 27:47 Goodbye and outro For video episodes, watch on www.youtube.com/@therudermanfamilyfoundation Stay in touch: X: @JayRuderman | @RudermanFdn LinkedIn: Jay Ruderman | Ruderman Family Foundation Instagram: All About Change Podcast | Ruderman Family Foundation To learn more about the podcast, visit https://allaboutchangepodcast.com/…
The Journey of the Heroic Parent: 10-Years Later - Ep 663
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Content provided by Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy and Dr. Brad Reedy. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy and Dr. Brad Reedy or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
Dr. Reedy discusses his first book, The Journey of the Heroic Parent and how his work has evolved since then. He describes the goal of the book as one to help parents become their own expert by learning how to think differently about parenting. He emphatically invites parents to do their own work and to explore their own histories, their own psychology.
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671 episodes
Manage episode 479848456 series 1265862
Content provided by Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy and Dr. Brad Reedy. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy and Dr. Brad Reedy or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
Dr. Reedy discusses his first book, The Journey of the Heroic Parent and how his work has evolved since then. He describes the goal of the book as one to help parents become their own expert by learning how to think differently about parenting. He emphatically invites parents to do their own work and to explore their own histories, their own psychology.
…
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671 episodes
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1 O.C.D. - an Interview with Katia Moritz, Ph.D., ABPP - Ep 676 1:07:28
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Dr. Reedy welcomes Dr. Katia Moritz, an expert in the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Dr. Moritz discusses common misperceptions is the diagnosis and treatment of the disorder. She explores the etiology and how family members are the cause of the issue, but may be inadvertently contributing to some of the dynamics. N.B.I.: https://www.nbiweston.com Dr. Moritz’s bio: https://www.nbiweston.com/katia-moritz…

1 Choosing To Go "No Contact" with Family - Ep 675 1:02:20
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Dr. Reedy discusses the issue related to individuals choosing to cut contact with their family members. He also talks about what to do when you are on the receiving end of this kind of boundary.

1 Rebellion, Indivuation, and Connection - Ep 674 59:44
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Dr. Reedy discusses how rebellion is a response to a situation where the project of individuation is threatened or stalled. He explains that individuation is the answer to the soul’s longing for itself. He invites listeners to consider disregarding what they were taught about parenting, children and even this broadcast. He explained the attachment requires that we accept the premise that “our children are not our children.” (Gibran)…
Dr. Reedy talks about what it means to hold space for another, what gets in the way of doing so and how this impacts the development of a child or the client in therapy. He explains that seeing someone is the key to mental health and resiliency and that the foundation of our ability to do that is in how we have managed to heal our own narcissistic wounding (the wounding of not being seen and accepted as we are).…
Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on parenting and boundaries. He explains how compassion is born by our boundaries. He explains that children and partners will inevitably require us to face aspects of ourselves we have avoided. We will have to fail, come up short and own our limitations as we practice self-care and attempt to meet our loved ones with love and compassion.…
Dr. Reedy defines and discusses what makes for emotional safety. He talks about how emotional safety heals us and how repeated exposure to an emotional safe person changes our nervous system permanently. He explains that when the “big people” from our childhood were unable to sit with us and our feelings, we learned to hide and protect ourselves… and these efforts to protect ourselves become our mental illnesses.…

1 How Behavioral Therapy Falls Short - Ep 670 1:01:30
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Dr. Reedy discusses how skills and tools don’t make up the transformative substance of our therapy journey. He talks about a “transformation of consciousness” that occurs when we are deeply changed. He explains ego-death and how fear and love are the primary forces that drive our behavior. He explains that therapy is not about improvement but rather about self-compassion, increased consciousness, and rests on a foundation of sense of safety.…
Dr. Reedy discusses how the identified patient is someone who expresses the issues with a system through mental health symptoms. He talks about projection and triangulation as ways for individuals in a system to scapegoat others and avoid the responsibility that each member of a system bears. He talks about how we can become a part of the solution as we learn to see mental health issues in the context of the greater system and make changes to disrupt patterns. He discourages the use of shame and guilt as barometers of our progress on our mental health journey.…

1 Being the Villain in Your Child’s Story (AMA) - Ep 668 59:23
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on attachment, parenting, and relationships. He talks about how a parent’s self-acceptance, which leads to self-awareness, is the key to your children's healthy development. He explains that self-compassion is the key to greater awareness and consciousness. And he talks about how boundaries and skills are really the evidence or signposts that reveal where we are on our journey. He emphatically points out that the goal in therapy is not to be so good we are beyond reproach, but rather the outcome of therapy is learning to love and see our "horrible, rotten, human, fallible, lovable, selves."…

1 What if I am the only one doing the work? - Ep 667 1:07:48
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Dr. Reedy discusses what to do when you are the only one in your circle doing their therapy work. He talks about how therapy changes us and how we can get stuck in trying to change the people around us..

1 Conscious Parenting Workshop: A Teaser - Ep 665 58:54
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Conscious Parenting Workshop: A Teaser - Ep 665 by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Journey of the Heroic Parent: 10-Years Later - Ep 663 1:02:44
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Dr. Reedy discusses his first book, The Journey of the Heroic Parent and how his work has evolved since then. He describes the goal of the book as one to help parents become their own expert by learning how to think differently about parenting. He emphatically invites parents to do their own work and to explore their own histories, their own psychology.…
#MentalHealthMatters #HealthyRelationships #ParentingSupport #AddictionRecovery #EmotionalWellness #MindfulParenting #TraumaInformed #SelfCareJourney #RelationshipAdvice #PsychologicalSafety #HealingJourney #FamilyDynamics #MentalHealthAwareness #OvercomingAnxiety #BreakTheStigma #PersonalGrowth #MindBodyConnection #WellnessWarrior #LifeCoaching #ResilienceBuilding…

1 Why is “Small-t” Trauma So Insidious. (A.M.A.) - Ep 661 37:53
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In this Ask Me Anything episode, Dr. Reedy takes questions from the audience on topics ranging from how we communicate our energy to our children, making the unconscious – conscious, debunking the cause and effect thinking, and how small-t trauma is insidious. He answers a question on shadow work. And he talks about how to handle the mistakes we have made as parents when our children remain angry.…

1 Finding Peace in Uncertain Times - Ep 660 1:00:49
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In this episode, Dr. Reedy discusses how so many clients are coming to therapy with great worries and distress due to the tumultuous events in the world. He suggests that we need to become more discerning with the news we consume. He proposes that peace is found by focusing on what we can control. He talks about the Buddhist concepts of impermanence, radical acceptance, and mindfulness.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

In this episode, Dr. Reedy discusses religious trauma and what kinds of family systems are at the greatest risk. He distinguishes religion from moral development and spiritual development. He talks about how families with dogmatic, strict-father-styles use religion to control, intimidate, and mold their children. He discusses how religion can be used as a defense against the experience of God and how religion can prevent spiritual development. He discusses the function of religion within a spiritual life. He talks about how many clients come to therapy with a history of religious trauma.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 An Interview with Noah Rasheta (Secular Buddhism Podcast Host) - Ep 659 50:43
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Dr. Brad Reedy welcomes Noah Rasheta, host of the Secular Buddhism Podcast. Noah is a philosopher, author, and host of a podcast on Secular Buddhism, where he shares Buddhist teachings & concepts for everyday life. He shares practical, accessible skills and concepts to help people incorporate Buddhist teachings into their life in an attempt to reduce unnecessary suffering. In this episode, Noah discusses his favorite principles from Buddhism and how we can think about enlightenment. He shares his personal journey and provides listeners an overview of the goals and objectives of the practice of Buddhism.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 An Interview with Ian Morgan Cron (Enneagram Expert) - Ep 657 1:09:16
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In this episode I am so pleased to welcome Ian Morgan Cron to the podcast. While he wears many hats, as he shares in this episode, the fundamental nature of his work is a spiritual one. Ian is Bestselling Author, Enneagram Expert, Priest, and the host of the Typology Podcast. After many years in recovery and in the wake of a relapse, he released his most recent book, The Fix. In it, he reveals how the twelve wteps can be key for anyone who wants to take their life back. Richard Rohr says about his newest book, “Ian Cron’s generous and hard-earned wisdom reveals that the Twelve Steps are not just for alcoholics and addicts, but a path to a profound transformation of Self for everyone.” In the this interview we cover a wide variety of topics including God and family, making an amends, how his various roles overlap and complement each other, his experience with shame (in real-time), and how he leans into his personal story to inform his work and hopefully make himself useful to the people he loves and serves.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 How Can I Learn to Be More Authentic? (A.M.A.) - Ep 656 38:10
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Dr. Reedy takes questions on topics from the audience. He discusses what to do when our adult children seem to be going off course. He talks about how we can learn to be our most authentic self and how to protect that journey by the company we keep.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Communication and Connection - Ep 655 1:13:14
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Dr. Reedy explains communication theory and the deeper psychological principles required for connection. He warns against using communication skills to change others and emphasizes that such skills can improve self-awareness first. They can also help us to remember to own our feelings (they are ours). He talks about listening and how it requires a significant amount of psychic energy.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about how humans cope with the anxiety of uncertainty and ambiguity. He explains that if we seek for security and absolute answers, we move towards mental illness. But if we can embrace the mystery of this life, we become more human and in that lies our resiliency.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on parenting and relationships. He talks about the difference between caring and wanting someone to know you care. He explores the nuances of loving and caring for yourself and loving and caring for your partner.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explains the origins and function of resistance and defensiveness. He talks about how we can make it worse as parents, therapists, and spouses.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy describes various forms of experiential therapy, including psychodrama - the primary type of therapy used in Finding You Programs’ Intensives. He explains why they work on the unconscious aspects of the psyche, and how healing can be accelerated with an experiential approach. He explains how experiential therapy bypasses resistance. He also explains how any therapy can be reparative and a “re-experiencing” of ourselves.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses Jung's concept of the Shadow, how to recognize it, and how to integrate it. He explains how this brings peace and freedom and lays the foundation for greater intimacy.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses how therapists and their clients can benefit from the therapist goin to therapy. He empowers clients to ask their therapists about their participation in therapy. He also explains the parallels between the client’s and the therapist’s resistance to therapy are mirror images of each other.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Fundamental Principles in Parenting & Marriage (Q&A) - Ep 648 40:13
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Dr. Reedy discusses the relationship principles that transcend through all relationships. He talks about how becoming who you are forms the basis for greater connection to others. He addresses the line between “can’t” and “won’t” when it comes to our children.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Analysis-Informed Psychotherapy - Ep 647 1:05:03
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Dr. Reedy discusses Finding You’s method of therapy. Informed by psychoanalysis, this therapy is a way of being with people in such a fundamentally different way that the clients re-experiences themselves. He suggests that safety is the treatment and as the therapist is able to hold the client in patience, compassion, and non-judgment, the client is able to explore their untold stories.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Individual vs. Couples Therapy (Q&A) - Ep 646 55:34
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Dr. Reedy discusses what to look for in a therapist. He also explores the pros and cons of individual work vs family work in therapy. He discusses the genetics and the trauma of our issues. He answers a question on making amends to our family members.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Finding Compassion - Ep 645 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses explains complicated and complex grief in the wake of the LA fires. He talks about how no two people are grieving the same thing in the same way. He talks about how when others can’t sit with us in our pain, we feel shameful and inadequate. Conversely, when people can hold our feelings, we can learn to feel and sit with them, and they move through us. He explains that our relationship to grief is our relationship to life. And the pain of our lives doesn’t shrink, we get larger and more capable of holding it.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Humility and Humiliation: Search for the Real Self - Ep 643 54:51
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Dr. Reedy discusses how we may feel humiliated when the distance between the false self and real self is exposed. Most often, the real self is exposed when we encounter difficulties or failures. He explains that the narcissistic wound, the wound of not being seen, of not having our whole self (in contrast to the “good” self) is rarely addressed without failures and humiliation. He explain that defenses don’t feel like defenses from the inside – they feel like, “they don’t understand me.”…
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1 Keys to Intimacy in Romantic Relationships - Ep 642 1:00:05
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Dr. Reedy discusses the challenges and keys to creating intimacy. He explores how, when we don’t own our feelings, our histories, or our issues, we see problems "out there" – specifically in our partners. He explains how sharing your feelings are only one part of intimacy. Listening, with compassion and non-judgment is often the real challenge that prevents intimacy in couples.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses goals and how our goals change as we change. He discussed the difference between first order change (behavior, skills, tools) vs. second order change (a fundamentally different way of seeing the world and relating to it). He suggests that we ask different questions, bigger questions, to get unstuck from old patterns. The great task is to look critically into our programming and challenge the answers to the largest questions in life.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Drama of the Gifted Child (Book Review) - Ep 640 1:13:50
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Dr. Reedy reviews Alice Miller’s, "The Drama of the Gifted Child." He touts this book as the most important book written on the subject of the parent-child dynamic. Miller explains how a child will give up who they are to meet the parent’s needs. The call is to do the deep work necessary to “cut the tragic link between admiration and love.”…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Obnoxious Stage of Setting Boundaries (Q&A) - Ep 639 40:47
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on setting boundaries in relationships where that hasn’t been the practice. He explains that we will get better as we go. He explains that the ability to listen to a feeling or a boundary says more about the receiver than it does about the person sharing.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses boundaries and self-care and how guilt, shame, and fear must be dealt with in order to love yourself. He explains how boundaries are beyond right and wrong. He explains how love of self is the foundation for loving everyone else.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Regression: When and Why it Happens - Ep 637 57:27
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Dr. Reedy discusses regression and what triggers it. He explains that old contexts, old relationships, old energies, roles, or rules can trigger us in ways that we revert back to a less evolved way of functioning. He encourages observing this dynamic and developing compassion for ourselves when we experience this inevitability.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Amends, Apologies, and Forgiveness - Ep 636 59:40
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Dr. Reedy talks about the characteristics of an authentic apology. He explains the difference between an apology and an amends. He explains that forgiveness is not a future but something we can do when we can do it - we do it when we can so that we can feel better.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explores the pressures and dilemmas that many people grapple with over the holidays. He talks about why we feel obligated to show up to our old context is certain ways. He talks about observing ourselves when we visit family and how to develop a practice of self-compassion for our regression.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses the risk of practicing gratitude and proposes that a more effective route might be by learning to feel all our feelings. He explains toxic positivity, gaslighting and spiritual bypass. He talks about Thanksgiving and the pressure to feel a certain way and what to do about that.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Family of Origin Through Lens of Family Systems Theory - Ep 633 1:13:51
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Family of Origin Through Lens of Family Systems Theory - Ep 633 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Relationship with Yourself First (Q&A) - Ep 632 49:20
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Dr. Reedy discusses why personal work is the basis for all our relationship issues and challenges. He takes live questions from the audience on psychedelics, religion, children using marijuana, and how to respond to these issues.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Narcissism & the Narcissistic Wound - Ep 631 1:03:22
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Dr. Reedy explains the etiology of narcissism and how we all have some of it. He defines the narcissistic wound as the wound of not being seen. He debunks many ideas taught today in pop-psychology. He makes a plea to stop responding to the diagnosis intuitively, but with a deeper understanding we can help others and take-in less of the pain the narcissist tries to project on or into us.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explores the process of projection, starting with splitting-off the parts of ourselves we were told were unacceptable and relegating them to the unconscious – the shadow. He talks about how we want the problem to be out there, in the other. He talks about othering when we don’t own our own feelings of fear, insecurity, or overwhelm.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

The Mysteries of Intimacy - Ep 629 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Being Right or Good vs. Being a Self - Ep 628 46:30
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Dr. Reedy discusses the difference between trying to be right or good and being yourself. He discusses how the things we have been taught to fear often hold great wisdom or energy. He explains that if we are operating with the need to be good, driven by ego, we are incapable of love. He explains that when we come to terms with who we are, through self-compassion (by time spent with someone who sees us and doesn’t judge us), we are free to love and hold space for others and their feelings.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Holding Boundaries While Keeping Connection (Q&A) - Ep 627 41:30
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience and discusses how to hold boundaries without sacrificing the relationship. He discusses how to honor your feelings of betrayal while staying in relationship to the other. He explains the benefit of group work at Finding You Intensives.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy announces his new project, Finding You Therapy Programs. Providing Therapy Intensives, Coaching, and On-line Workshops for parents, couples, and therapists, Brad explains the underlying philosophy of Finding You. Based in Attachment Theory, he explains how the goal is to draw closer to your authentic self. From here, relationships and difficult life decisions come into focus; anxiety is replaced with hope and empowerment.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

In his last broadcast representing Evoke Therapy Programs, Dr. Reedy shares both his personal connection to the hero’s journey as well as how understanding stories, art, music, literature, and nature draw us back to the one idea that the purpose of life is your life. The goal in Dr. Reedy’s therapy is to become who you are, to become your authentic self. Dr. Reedy says goodbye and takes time to read as live participants share their heroic stories in the chat. And he says goodbye with the invitation to join him on the next journey, Finding You Therapy Programs.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Grief and Loss - Ep 624 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses the foundations of healthy family dynamics. He talks about how the identified patient becomes the scapegoat for other family members’ undone work.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses attachment based therapy and how repairs to our attachment wounding can be made through the relationship with the therapist.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Rethinking Divorce: An Interview with Morgan Foster - Ep 621 1:22:46
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Morgan Foster is not only a seasoned divorce attorney with more than 20 years of experience, but she’s also the visionary founder of The Pivot Process—a groundbreaking approach that transforms the often painful process of divorce into an opportunity for growth, healing, and new beginnings. Morgan has spent a decade handling complex divorce and custody cases. She has seen firsthand the toll that traditional divorce can take on families. This inspired her to create The Pivot Process, a holistic and empowering method that helps individuals and families navigate the emotional, financial, and relational challenges of divorce with dignity and clarity.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses Nature-Based Therapy. He explains boundaries and how such an intervention can trigger feelings of betrayal. He talks about grit, growth mindset, the comfort crisis and why therapy set in nature can be so powerful.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Un-Lived Life of a Parent (Q&A) - Ep 619 55:51
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the live audience on parental self-care, boundaries, and the guilt that comes as we heal and progress.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses shame and guilt and how they work in our lives. He suggests that becoming healthier, making progress, and healing will inevitably require that we confront our guilt. He also makes it clear that guilt (and shame) are synonymous with morality.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses narcissism, the narcissistic wound, what distinguishes the diagnosis vs. traits, and how narcissism can be treated effectively.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explores the definition and origins of Codependency. He explains that the root of codependency is the way parents and other big people talk to and respond to the child. Codependency is a modern term that encompasses anxious attachment styles. He explains that codependency is NOT the cause of addiction in another but rather is at the core of all addictions. He teaches that healing codependency does not cure another person’s addiction but only resolves the codependency in the individual who is healing.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Be Curious About a Child’s Behavior (Q&A) - Ep 615 52:08
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from audience members on the how to respond to a child that won’t open up and when it is okay to take a vacation from the work in therapy.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about how aftercare is the key to a successful treatment intervention. He also talks about the pitfalls and vulnerabilities we encounter during any transition.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Largely drawing from the book with the same name by Thich Nhat Hanh, Dr. Reedy explains mindfulness as a boarder idea than what people think of when considering mindfulness. He explains how therapy is a “talking mindfulness” practice. He explains several tenants on Buddhism including impermanence, non-duality, inter-being, and radical acceptance. He also clarifies that what Buddhists refer to as the concept of “non-attachment” is synonymous with the characteristic in psychology associated with a secure attachment.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Attachment Theory in Therapy (Q&A) - Ep 612 49:55
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Dr. Reedy talks about how when we accept ourselves and are able to see who we are, we are able to move forward. Conversely, thinking of mental health in terms of being completely free of our issues is a breeding ground for denial. He talks about how guilt and shame are at the crux of so many of our dilemmas. He explains attachment theory and how it is thought of in the therapeutic relationship. He explains how we listen when we can and it is absolutely okay to set a boundary and remove ourselves from the conversation when we can’t listen to others.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about the new epidemic in addiction: technology addiction. He covers some of the science behind game and technology design and how developers are using the most up-to-date and sophisticated science to hook their users. He explains how these designs, focused on dopamine and need for an individual’s sense of wellbeing, prey upon the chemical reaction when we experience a connection to others. He explains how nature-based therapy and mindfulness and starting early are keys in our fight against the ubiquitous issue of addiction to technology.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Loving All of You: An Interview with Esin Pinarli - Ep 610 1:02:48
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Dr. Reedy welcomes Esin Pinarli to the podcast, Esin is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and a Master’s Level Certified Addiction Professional (MCAP) specializing in IMAGO, brainspotting, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic practices, and psychodrama. Through an integrative experiential approach, she helps individuals, couples, and families suffering from anxiety, depression, addiction, codependency, trauma, dysfunctional family system dynamics, and relational attachment issues to navigate life's challenges so they can become fully alive, supported, and whole. They cover topics ranging from Internal Family Systems, the intersection between clinical work and the 12-Steps, codependency, and self-care.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience. He discusses the challenges when a spouse doesn’t want to go to therapy. He explores the dynamics in our culture around expectations of mothers and how guilt can be the barrier to improved mental health. And he further explains how the suicidal impulse can be a call to a higher level of consciousness.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 How Children Suffer Because of Our Issues (Q&A) - Ep 608 41:47
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience. He talks about why children take risks on their devices and on social media. He talks about when we take care of ourselves, we can be there for those we love. He talks about how we may need to set strong boundaries with our parents if engaging eth them reaches a certain level of toxicity.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses ego and soul and explains how these two ideas represent two primary driving energies. Ego, he explains, is the part of us than manages and represents the conscious mind. Defenses, the need to be right, and gatekeeping the unconscious material are its primary roles or duties. Ego is fear based and operates withing a scarcity mindset. Soul is the whole, authentic, or real self- it is our whole self. It is our wisest knowing, and it is fueled by love – love for self and others.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Do’s and Don’ts of Co-Parenting - Ep 606 1:10:17
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Dr. Reedy discusses the challenges of co-parenting. He explains how to avoid making things worse. He emphasizes that we “stay on our side of the street” and not become overly focused on the other’s shortcomings.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Parenting Through an Attachment Lens - Ep 605 56:40
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Dr. Reedy discusses attachment, what it takes to provide a secure attachment, and what to consider to prioritize a secure attachment over behavior or symptom management.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explains how love and fear are driving forces in our unconscious, motivating much of our behavior. He explains that we need to learn to distinguish between love and fear and understand when we are taking from others and when and how we can show our love to our children and partners.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Evoke Therapy Intensives for Couples, Parents, and Families - Ep 603 53:52
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Dr. Reedy discusses Evoke’s custom private intensives for couples and families. He explains what make Evoke’s Intensive work different and how we aim to be the experts, not on your life, but on creating a process where you can discover your truth.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Evoke Intensives: What Sets Us Apart - Ep 602 1:00:00
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Dr. Reedy discusses what sets Evoke Therapy Intensives apart from other programs. He explains the clinical model and explains how Evoke uses attachment and the concepts of transference and counter transference.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 When Apologizing Doesn’t Work (Q&A) - Ep 601 39:06
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Dr. Reedy takes questions from the audience on what to do if doing your own work and apologizing to your children doesn’t make a difference.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Blocked Care: Regaining Compassion for Your Child - Ep 600 53:35
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From an article by Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls, Dr. Reedy discusses what happens when the chronic stress from children struggling with mental health issues bring parents to a point of numbness, disconnection, and shame. He talks about the isolation and shame that comes when a parent loses their ability to feel warmth and love for a struggling child. Dr. Reedy talks about this dynamic in the context of attachment, parental guilt, and self-care. Full article here: https://thearchibaldproject.com/blocked-care-how-to-regain- compassion-for-yourself-and-your-child…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Is Taking Care of Yourself Selfish? (Q&A) - Ep 599 41:39
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Dr. Reedy talks takes live questions from the audience and talks about self-care in the context of the child parent dynamic. He talks about looking for a therapist that is patient, kind, and secure. He explains attachment-based therapy and the upcoming Master Class and how the medicine in therapy is the way the therapist is with the client.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Communication Theory and Skills - Ep 598 1:04:25
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Dr. Reedy talks about communication skills and how “why” we share is more important than the words we use.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Helping Children Move Through Feelings (Q&A) - Ep 597 40:26
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Dr. Reedy take live questions from the audience. He discusses how to deal with an angry, resentful child. He also talks about what can happen when one spouse doesn’t want to do their therapy work.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Addiction and Self-Medication - Ep 596 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Modeling Change for Our Children (Q&A) - Ep 595 53:53
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on the process of wilderness therapy, how to support a family member in treatment, the new book "Bad Therapy," and how to model the change you want to see in your children.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Myth, Story, and the Heroic Journey Inward - Ep 594 1:06:25
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Dr. Reedy talks about how myth and stories provide a template for the heroic journey inward to discover ourselves. He uses this idea to show that our stories and out myths are invitations to look at the lost parts of ourselves so that we can heal and become who we are.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy answers a question about finding hope and worth after an affair. He talks about how to make a repair with a child who doesn’t want to engage anymore. He explains that our context can be internalized and the way to healing is to spend time with a patient, empathic Other.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about what to look for in a therapist. He talks about how to recognize a mature therapist who is capable of holding you with compassion and patience. He explains that "the way a therapist is with you" is the medicine. He talks about characteristics of the adequate or "good enough" therapist. He emphasizes that the therapist must first model being human since that is the task in therapy. He explains that if the therapist can hold your anger, frustration, and resistance with love, you have found a therapist worth keeping.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Let’s Talk About the “Defense” (Q&A) – Ep 591 46:02
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience. He talks about defenses, where and why they happen, what it feels like when we encounter the defense in ourselves or the Other, and what healing looks like so we don’t need the protection of the defense.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other by James Hollis (Book Review) - Ep 590 57:23
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Dr. Reedy provide an overview of The Eden Project by James Hollis. He explains how the early stages of romantic love are fraught with pitfalls of projection, blame, and the working out of the unconscious, unexplored parts of ourselves. He talks about the responsibility to live our own life and cease abdicating our chief responsibility – to individuate and become more whole, more conscious as the pathway to greater intimacy and love in marriage.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 How We Love Those Hurting Themselves - Ep 589 45:10
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on loving our children when they are hurting themselves and on finding the right kind of therapist for ourselves.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 The Teen Whisperer: An Interview with Kirsten Cobabe - Ep 588 37:13
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The Teen Whisperer: An Interview with Kirsten Cobabe - Ep 588 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about the value and limitations of skill-based work and therapy. He talks about how the development of the self is the foundation for deeper change and how that can be accomplished. He posits that the outcome of therapy is that we become who we are.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Owning and Dealing with Your Guilt (Q&A) - Ep 586 57:41
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience. He discusses that the work isn’t always about learning to put up with more and more, but may be setting boundaries with people in your life. He explains that the primary barriers to higher enlightenment are shame and guilt. He says that the dominant cultures offers erroneous ideas on the subject of becoming and person and loving others. Dr. Reedy explains that enlightenment means that we deal with the parts of ourselves we avoid.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses Al-anon, Codependency, and how the 12-Steps apply to the non-identified patient. He defines codependency and talks about its connection to attachment and the attachment wound we suffered. He goes through each of the 12 Steps and ties them back to the principles they address. He debunks the excuses people have when resisting attending meetings for themselves.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discuss the shadow and how the repressed energy of our unconscious impacts our behaviors and relationships. He talks about how to recognize the shadow and how to unpack and heal so that we don’t ask our children and our partners to carry our unconscious, undone work.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Listen to What the Symptom is Saying (Q&A) - Ep 583 1:00:29
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on dealing with children who fight, co-parenting, and learning how to love. He explains that before we try to eradicate behaviors in our children, we learn to listen to them to hear the untold story of the child’s dilemma.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Repairing Fractures with Your Children - Ep 582 1:00:49
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Dr. Reedy discusses repairing relationships in the context of attachment. He emphasizes that repair, forgiveness and reconciliation come on the terms and the timeline of the person who was hurt. He talks about the ego and how we need to let it die to mature and grow.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Parenting with Older Children (Q&A) - Ep 581 35:57
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on parenting older children: what is different and what is the same. He talks about what boundaries sound like and how the measure of a good boundary is not in how the child or other person responds.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 A New Take on Goals and Resolutions - Ep 580 48:38
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Dr. Reedy explores the problems with setting goals and measuring our progress. He explains that goals often need to be altered, surrendered, and discarded. He gives a list of goals that relate to being and growing in contrast to goals which point towards arriving.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from audience members who have tried everything, and they are still not able to reach their child. He talks about the goals of healthy parenting: peace, confidence, clarity…he also explains how the goal in therapy is not to become “better,” but to become yourself.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Understanding How Human Development Leads to Compassion - Ep 578 52:18
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Dr. Reedy explains various models of human development and how they lead to a more compassionate understanding of mental illness in our children. He explains how parents are often going through a parallel process with their children of individuation and identity development.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 “My Child is Avoiding Their Work” (Q&A) - Ep 577 50:07
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“My Child is Avoiding Their Work” (Q&A) - Ep 577 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Rebellion and the Cure - Ep 576 1:17:34
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Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Rebellion and the Cure - Ep 576 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 School Refusal – A Post Pandemic Look - Ep 575 1:10:02
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Dr. Reedy discusses school refusal. He considers behavioral modification 9in the context of what we know about trauma informed approaches. He encourages parents to be flexible and look for the root issues when dealing with school refusal.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 You Are the Problem and the Solution (Q&A) - Ep 574 55:15
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Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience. He talks about staying connected to yourself and how our anger and resentment are signals to set better boundaries. The talks about how parents must put themselves first if they are to love and compassionately care for their children and others.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 An Interview with Parent Coach Andy Goldstrom - Ep 573 40:40
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Dr. Brad Reedy welcomes Parent Coach Andy Goldstrom to the podcast. From a career in business, to a journey supporting a child struggling with mental health issues, Andy brings his passion for helping parents find the tools and empowerment they are looking for while navigating a family's journey towards mental health. Go to www.parentsjourneycoaching.net for more on his work and www.oplm.com and www.skysthelimitfund.org for more information on donations.…
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries (& Self-Care) - Ep 572 1:03:48
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Dr. Reedy talks about principles involved in discovering and setting healthy boundaries. He explains that boundaries are synonymous with - or come out of - self-care. He warns against trying to explain your boundaries and using boundaries to change other people.
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Choosing How to Die (Q&A) - Ep 571
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Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

1 Communication and Differentiation - Ep 570 1:04:32
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Communication and Differentiation - Ep 570 by Dr. Brad Reedy
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