Interview with Dr. Jordan Quaglia: The Science of We-Care beyond Self-Care

A Little Help For Our Friends

Send us a text! (add your email to get a response)

Do we always have to choose between caring for ourselves vs. caring for others? Nope! Dr. Jordan Quaglia, associate professor at Naropa University, introduces us to "We-Care" – a revolutionary approach to caring that blends self-care and caring for others into an integrated practice where they mutually reinforce each other.
Drawing from over a decade of research in mindfulness, compassion, and boundaries, Dr. Quaglia explains how self-care has evolved from a medical term to today's ubiquitous wellness practice, but suggests we're now ready for something more interconnected.
The conversation delves into "care blind spots" – patterns in how we approach care that remain invisible to us. Some people habitually prioritize others at their own expense, while others may emphasize self-care to the point of undermining their social connections.
When discussing boundaries, Dr. Quaglia challenges conventional wisdom. Rather than seeing boundaries merely as expressions of self-care, he reframes them as actions that modify social situations to better align with our needs, values, and goals – while remaining awake to how our boundaries affect others. Healthy boundaries, when rooted in We-Care, balance both protection and connection.
At the end of the conversation, Dr. Quaglia leads us through a "reverse self-compassion" practice that embodies We-Care principles, showing us what Dr. Qualia calls an "undivided heart" – the capacity to hold both self-care and care for others simultaneously.

***If you have a loved one with mental illness and struggle to set boundaries, take care of yourself AND them at the same time, book a call with Dr. Kibby to learn how the KulaMind program can help.

Resources:

• Check out Dr. Quaglia's new book hot off the presses: "From Self-Care to WeCare: The New Science of Mindful Boundaries and Caring from an Undivided Heart"
• Dr. Quaglia's IG @mindfulboundaries

Support the show

• If you have a loved one with mental or emotional problems, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, work one on one with Dr. Kibby on learning how to set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. *We only have a few spots left, so apply here if you're interested.

• Follow @kulamind on Instagram for science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.

• For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @ALittleHelpForOurFriends

Chapters

1. Introduction to WeCare (00:00:00)

2. Dr. Qualia's Journey to WeCare (00:08:40)

3. Evolution of Self-Care to WeCare (00:17:40)

4. WeCare in Daily Practice (00:26:00)

5. Understanding Healthy Boundaries (00:34:10)

6. Caring for Loved Ones with Mental Illness (00:43:40)

7. The Dichotomy in Compassion Science (00:53:40)

8. Reverse Self-Compassion Practice (01:03:30)

9. Final Thoughts and Closing (01:10:35)