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Season 5 Episode 8: Socially Acceptable Addictions with Bethany Dearborn Hiser
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Join Brandi and James as they talk with Bethany Hiser about the socially acceptable addiction to work. There can be an unhealthy attachment or co-dependency on work that shapes our identity and sense of acceptance. Work often becomes the socially acceptable addiction, particularly for those in full-time ministry and cross-cultural work. A significant part of our identity is formed by what we do, which can lead to burnout.
Different from simply being empathetically impacted by work co-dependency is the need to solve others’ problems to feel okay yourself. This overextension of self is often rewarded and may appear positive on the outside but can lead to burnout and compassion fatigue. Are we motivated by a need to be needed because we aren’t okay unless everyone else is? The root of addiction lies in deriving something from a behavior or substance. There is a deep need that must be met through our relationships with our creator, not through our identity in our work.
“We have to know we have worth and value and live out of that place” Bethany Hiser
Bethany currently works as the Director of Soul Care for Northwest Family Life, a network of therapists trained to work with survivors of domestic violence and sexual trauma. As a bilingual social worker, chaplain, and pastoral advocate, Bethany has worked in a variety of ministry and social service settings with people affected by addiction, sexual exploitation, incarceration, and immigration. After experiencing her own burnout, she has become passionate about being a sort of midwife alongside other helping professionals, as they navigate secondary trauma, move toward groundedness, and uncover their belovedness. She works in the US, yet has a global heart as a TCK. She has offered Soul Care support and training to organizations in India, Bolivia, and Thailand, as well as spent significant time in Central America, Scotland and France. She is the author of From Burned Out to Beloved: Soul Care for Wounded Healers, partly her story, but moreso a trauma-informed holistic soul care guide for other helping professionals. Bethany lives in San Diego with her husband Kenny and their two young daughters in an intentional neighborhood community.
Resources
- From Burnout to Beloved by Bethany Hiser
- Trauma stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky & Connie Burk
- The Genesis Project
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