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Why Communication Tools May Cause Distance in Relationships: Deep Listening with Dr. Alifano | Ep. 63
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Content provided by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood & Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert, Markella Kaplani - Clinical-Counseling Psychologist | Parenthood, and Relationship Coach | Matrescence Expert or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
Have you ever wondered why communication tools sometimes don’t appear to work in relationships, even when you’re trying your best? Or why you and your partner keep having the same argument again and again? If you’ve been asking yourself, “how to fix emotional distance in a relationship,” or “why am I not feeling heard in my marriage,” this episode is for you.
In today’s powerful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Randall Alifano, a clinical psychologist, therapist of 40+ years, and author of Listening in the Raw, to explore what real listening in a relationship looks like. We dive deep into the difference between empathy and performing empathy, and why using communication tools in marriage can sometimes make things worse instead of better.
You’ll learn how childhood wounds show up in marriage, how to spot emotional filters in couples communication, and what happens when we stop reacting and start responding, not from defense, but from curiosity.
This episode is packed with insights for anyone wondering:
👉 how to stop taking things personally in a relationship
👉 how to listen to your partner without judgment
👉 how to repair a relationship after a fight
👉 how to create emotional intimacy in marriage
👉 why listening is more important than fixing in relationships
We also touch on the traps of modern self-development and why “do your own work” isn’t enough when you’re in a partnership. Dr. Alifano shares how interdependence in relationships creates real connection and why your body’s reaction during a conflict might tell you more than your thoughts ever could.
Whether you’re a parent, a partner, or a therapist yourself, you’ll leave this episode with practical tools and a softer lens. If you've ever Googled how to stop arguing with your spouse, how to connect with your partner again, or how to improve communication in marriage, this conversation is a must-listen.
We also explore:
👉 the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic in relationships
👉 how to repair connection with your child after yelling
👉 how to listen without taking over the conversation
👉 how to stay calm during an argument
Dr. Alifano’s presence is grounding and wise and this episode is a gentle but radical invitation to rethink the way you relate. You’ll laugh, you might cry, and you’ll definitely finish with a fresh take on what makes relationships work as well as what might be quietly getting in the way.
🎧 Tune in now and don’t forget to subscribe if you’re on a journey to create more emotional connection in marriage and family life.
💌 SIGN UP: This week’s loveletter includes 1 insight, 1 exclusive tool, as well as 1 three-minute reset to help you track small emotional wins. Get it at markellakaplani.com/newsletter.
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Who is Dr. Randall Alifano?
Dr. Randall Alifano has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is an Ordained Minister with over 40 years of experience integrating psychology and spirituality in his private practice. He has worked with a diverse group of people at various stages of their lives, listening to their dreams and aspirations, traumas and confusions, and their desire to live life more attuned to their inner wisdom. And he has loved doing it his entire career. Over the decades, he has studied numerous theories and methodologies (both psychological and spiritual) and they have all filtered down to inform who he is and how he works.
Website: RandallAlifanophd.com
Book: Listening in the Raw - Get it on Amazon
Paperback: https://a.co/d/1OgqHoR
Audiobook: https://a.co/d/1vITt8X
Kindle: https://a.co/d/9XR07G4
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Full Transcript HERE.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QNX6N5IAyM_kI4PKPtcWnoPRPvw11_TNyvpueIRT0hY/edit?usp=sharing
Want to take our relationship to the next level?
👉 GET THE FREE INTIMACY in 5 MINUTE GUIDE! https://markellakaplani.com/intimacyin5minutes
👉Here are my top Resources: https://www.markellakaplani.com/resources
👉 Link to my Newsletter: http://markellakaplani.com/newsletter
👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge: http://markellakaplani.com/challenge
📩 Get in touch with me
Instagram @markella.kaplani: https://www.instagram.com/markella.kaplani/
Website: https://www.markellakaplani.com/
E-mail: [email protected]
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Markella Kaplani, M.A.
Clinical-Counseling Psychologist
Parenthood & Relationship Coach
www.markellakaplani.com
64 episodes
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