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Discernment Counseling: For Couples on the Brink of Divorce | Steve Harris | #139
Manage episode 491673934 series 3623291
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Dr. Steve Harris joins us to explain discernment counseling, a specialized approach helping couples gain clarity about whether to work on their marriage or move toward divorce.
• Developed at the University of Minnesota after research showed 30% of divorcing couples had at least one person who didn't want the divorce
• Differs from traditional couples therapy by focusing on decision-making clarity rather than relationship improvement
• Designed specifically for "mixed-agenda couples" where one partner wants to work on the marriage while the other is considering divorce
• Creates a structured space where ambivalence about the relationship is welcomed and explored
• Presents three paths: continuing the status quo, moving toward divorce, or committing to six months of intensive work on the relationship
• Typically runs 1-5 sessions with both joint and individual components
• Helps both partners recognize their own contributions to marital problems, not just their partner's failings
• Results show approximately 51% choose to work on their marriage, with 70-75% of those successfully repairing their relationship
• Even couples who ultimately divorce benefit from better understanding and communication
Visit MinnesotaCouplesOnTheBrink.org or discernmentcounseling.com to learn more and find trained counselors in your area.
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Chapters
1. Introduction to Discernment Counseling (00:00:00)
2. Origins of the Minnesota Couples Project (00:04:02)
3. What Makes Discernment Counseling Different (00:09:23)
4. The Three Paths Framework (00:15:39)
5. Structure of Discernment Counseling Sessions (00:22:37)
6. Results and Success Stories (00:28:31)
7. Finding Help and Final Thoughts (00:36:04)
140 episodes
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