What to Say After a Tough Game: Mom’s Guide to Building Resilient Girl Athletes

Raising Elite Competitors

You’re standing on the sidelines, watching your daughter trudge off the field after a tough loss or a rough game. Her body language screams frustration, and your stomach knots up. Here comes that awful car ride home. You want to help, but every attempt seems to make things worse.

Sound familiar?

In this episode, I’m sharing my LOVE Framework: the exact system I teach parents in our Elite Mental Game program. These four simple steps will transform those tense post-game moments from stressful to supportive.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

🔥 Why your usual pep talks might be backfiring (and what to do instead).
🍦 The unexpected power of post-game rituals (hint: it’s not about the ice cream...but that helps).
💬 My go-to scripts: Exactly what to say when she’s angry, disappointed, or beating herself up.
🚫 The 3 phrases I tell parents to avoid at all costs (you’re probably using at least one).
🔄 How I help athletes turn “I suck” into “I’ll improve” (without fake positivity).

Free Resource: Grab my 25 Confidence-Building Phrases cheat sheet at trainhergame.com so you’ll never be stuck searching for words again.

Press play now! Your daughter (and your future car rides) will thank you.

Episode Highlights:

[00:00:00] The Tough Post-Game Dilemma. Introduction to the common struggle parents face when their daughter has a difficult game - the tension between saying nothing (risking seeming uncaring) and saying the wrong thing (causing shutdowns).

[00:00:31] Introducing the LOVE Framework. The 4-step LOVE Framework used in the Elite Mental Game program to handle post-game conversations effectively.

[00:01:24] Real Mom Success Stories. Three moms (Nicole, Shelly, and Andrea) share how using the LOVE Framework transformed their post-game car rides from tense to productive.

[00:02:41] The Two-Piece Confidence Puzzle. Explanation of how confidence stems from both: 1) Parental interactions, and 2) The athlete’s own mental processing skills.

[00:04:46] L - Let Her Lead. Why giving space post-game matters more than immediate feedback, with Dr. Becky Kennedy’s “emotional bench” analogy about sitting with discomfort.

[00:08:51] O - Open the Space. How creating predictable rituals (like post-game snacks) builds psychological safety for natural conversation.

[00:10:27] V - Validate the Emotion. The mirror technique: Reflecting emotions without agreeing with harsh self-criticism (“I believe you feel that way” vs. “You’re right, you played terribly”).

[00:13:58] E - Encourage Inward Reflection. Powerful questions to ask later (“What’s one thing you’re proud of?” “What would you tell a teammate feeling this way?”) that strengthen self-assessment skills.

[00:15:32] Special Case: Coach-Parents. The scrunchie method: Letting athletes physically signal whether they want “coach” or “mom” feedback in post-game conversations.

[00:16:25] Free Resource Alert. 25 Key Phrases PDF available at trainhergame.com to help parents navigate pre- and post-game conversations.

[00:16:56] Framework Recap. Quick review of LOVE: Let Her Lead, Open the Space, Validate Emotion, Encourage Inward reflection.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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