Is gentleness outdated — or more necessary than ever?

The Ethical Life

Episode 201: Hosts Richard Kyte and Scott Rada dive into a virtue that’s often dismissed in modern society: gentleness.

The discussion began with a simple LinkedIn post Kyte shared about how much he’s come to value gentleness in others — particularly when reflecting on mentors, teachers and leaders who shaped his life. The post sparked numerous responses, many of which noted how rare, misunderstood or even stigmatized gentleness has become in public life.

From there, Rada and Kyte explore a wide range of questions: Why is gentleness often confused with weakness or passivity? How can it be a strength in leadership, especially during conflict? And why do we praise this quality in caregivers and teachers but rarely reward it in CEOs or elected officials?

Through personal stories and cultural observations, the episode makes the case that gentleness — far from being outdated — may be a powerful tool for creating space, building trust and de-escalating tension. The hosts discuss how the rise of social media and the push for constant self-promotion have made it harder for gentle voices to be heard, and how our cultural obsession with attention and speed often sidelines quieter virtues.

They also examine how gender expectations affect perceptions of gentleness and reflect on public figures — including Fred Rogers and Jimmy Carter — who modeled this approach in profound ways.

Listeners are invited to consider not only how they view gentleness in others but also whether it’s a trait worth cultivating in themselves.