How to Respond Correctly

Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear

The Gemara teaches that at the time of conception, Hashem decrees whether a person will be strong or weak, wise or foolish, rich or poor. The Shomer Emunim adds that included in this decree is how many tests a person will need to face—whether due to physical weakness, financial strain, or any other challenge. In other words, before a person even enters this world, his entire life is mapped out—each detail depending on what he was sent into this world to accomplish. This includes how much suffering, whether physical or emotional, the person will endure, and what kinds of experiences he will have with his spouse or children—whether joyful or difficult. If someone insults or embarrasses him, that moment was already decreed before he was even born. If a spouse is hurtful or harsh, he must believe that Hashem is placing those words in the other's mouth—unless, the Shomer Emunim clarifies, the person himself initiated conflict using his own free will. In that case, he may be bringing upon himself extra suffering that wasn't originally decreed. But if he is behaving appropriately and still suffers from others, it is part of his mission from Hashem. The Shomer Emunim continues: If a person, when confronted with difficulty, recognizes that it is coming from Hashem and doesn't complain—but instead takes it as a wake-up call to do teshuva —then the decree can be drastically reduced. A year-long suffering could be cut down to a single day. We know that Hashem's attribute of kindness is 500 times greater than His attribute of judgment. Yosef HaTzaddik was supposed to be freed from prison after two more days, but because he placed his trust in man instead of fully in Hashem, those two days turned into two years. The meraglim sinned for 40 days, and were punished with 40 years of wandering. If this is how the measure of punishment works, then surely, when it comes to reward and kindness, the impact is even greater. A year-long decree could be erased in moments. The pasuk says, הֲלֹא כִּי אֵין אֱלֹקַי בְּקִרְבִּי מְצָאֻנִי הָרָעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה —the Shomer Emunim explains that when a person believes his suffering is not from Hashem ( כי אין אלוקי בקרבי ), then מצאוני הרעות האלה —the afflictions persist. But when he recognizes that the suffering is from Hashem and responds with teshuva , the suffering can stop. There's a story told by a great tzaddik from earlier generations about a man who endured terrible suffering his whole life. After his passing, a malach told him that this suffering was necessary for his tikkun . But the malach added that he could have completed his mission much more easily if he had regularly said רבוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, צַדִּיק אַתָּה עַל כָּל הַבָּא עָלַי, כִּי אֱמֶת עָשִׂיתָ וַאֲנִי הִרְשַׁעְתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ. יְהִי רָצוֹן שֶׁבְּאֵלוּ הַיִּסּוּרִים יְכֻפְּרוּ עֲוֹנוֹתַי "Master of the Universe, You are righteous in everything that happens to me. You have acted truthfully, and I am the one who sinned. May it be Your will that these afflictions atone for my sins." If he had accepted his suffering and acknowledged it came from Hashem, it would have fulfilled its purpose. But because he didn't accept it, the suffering didn't accomplish its goal—and he had to return to this world to complete his mission. When a person recognizes his yisurim (sufferings) as coming from Hashem and accepts them, not only does it reduce what remains, it also increases the value and effectiveness of what he has already endured. Hashem is waiting for our response when He sends us yisurim for our benefit. If we can train ourselves to respond with emunah, we will be the ones who gain the most. May Hashem help us respond correctly—and through that, remove all suffering and harsh decrees from among us.