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Jurassic World: Rebirth Review – A Hollow Reboot Gen X Didn't Ask For
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Episode Summary:
In this brutally honest review, Paul Stevens takes the latest dino-sized letdown—Jurassic World: Rebirth—to task. What was supposed to be a thrilling return to the franchise turned out to be a soulless, corporate content dump aimed at nostalgia-starved audiences.
Paul revisits his personal connection to the original Jurassic Park, shares memories from his first date in 1995, and contrasts that magical experience with the overproduced, underwritten mess that is Rebirth.
Spoiler alert: this reboot didn’t evolve—it devolved.
🦖 What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
- 🎬 A nostalgic look back at Jurassic Park (1993) and what made it timeless
- 📉 A breakdown of Rebirth’s weak plot, flat characters, and identity crisis
- 🤖 Why this movie feels like it was made by a committee or an algorithm
- 🧪 A rant on lazy science and the ridiculous oxygen zone theory
- 💸 The truth about the “villain” who just wanted to cure heart disease
- 🎭 Disconnected performances from otherwise talented actors
- 🤦 The failed attempt at humor, family bonding, and mutated dinos
- 🧠 Gen X’s demand for originality over IP-driven sludge
- 💬 Paul’s personal take: why Gen X isn't buying what Hollywood is selling
📊 Ratings Recap:
- IMDb: 6.3/10
- Metascore: 52/100
- Rotten Tomatoes: 56% Critics / 72% Audience
(Paul questions that audience score—hard.)
📬 Connect with the Show:
📧 Email: [email protected]
💬 Leave a voice message or fanmail: [Link in show notes]
🔔 Subscribe and leave a rating if this episode made you laugh, think, or shout “Exactly!” in your car.
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