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Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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Ever had that moment where you look around your life—your career, your relationships, your daily routine—and think, Wait… is this it? Is this all there is? You’re not alone. Midlife has a way of sneaking up on you with big questions, restless energy, and a deep craving for more. More joy. More love. More fulfillment. More you. That’s where this podcast comes in. Each week, I break down science-backed, brain-friendly sweary strategies into bite-sized, doable lessons that help you build a life ...
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Why Did No One Warn Us About this Midlife Shit? Episode Four
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In Episode 4 of my five-part series, I’m talking about something that hits all of us in midlife: the rage. That low-key, high-voltage, "I swear to God if the dishwasher beeps one more time..." kind of rage. Here’s the thing: You’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re just awake — and your nervous system is officially done putting up with the bulls…
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Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating
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53:13
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Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? How much do I share, when, and how? This week, Esther gets set up on a blind date of sorts with three people, all deeply invested in the world of modern dating, to talk through what it's like out ther…
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Why Did No One Warn Us About this Midlife Shit? Episode Three
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EPISODE 3: Why We Don't Like Ourselves Very Much (Gen X Women Edition) 💥 In Episode 3 of my five-part series, I’m getting real about the deep, invisible ways women—especially Gen X women—were taught from day fucking one not to actually like ourselves. 🧠 I’m breaking down why so many of us struggle with self-worth, how it’s completely different from…
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Why Did No One Warn Us About this Midlife Shit? Episode Two
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Fuck Being the Strong One! 💥 Episode 2 of our 5-part podcast series is here — and we’re coming for the “strong one” identity Gen X women were handed without consent. 🧠 In this powerful, hilarious, and painfully honest episode, Kira breaks down the emotional toll of always being the capable, dependable, fix-it-all one — and why it’s not strength, it…
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Why Did No One Warn Us About this Midlife Shit? Episode One
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Welcome to Part 1 of my brand-new series, Why Did Nobody Warn Us About This Shit?! – five no-holds-barred episodes exploring the real, raw, hilarious, and sometimes heartbreaking truths about midlife. Spoiler alert: It’s way more than hot flashes. In this episode, I’m talking about the physical, emotional, and psychological curveballs no one prepar…
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You Can’t Love Perfect: And Honestly, It’s Wrecking Your Relationships
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Hello there, sugar pants. I'm back—and whew, life has been a lot lately. But today, I’m diving into something that’s been messing with way too many of us for way too long: perfection. We’ve been taught that if we can just get it right—be good enough, successful enough, lovable enough—then life will finally feel better. But here’s the truth: you can…
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This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are highs as well as lows. One is new to the work force, the other is new to this particular work place. One manages the other. And while they like each other on a personal level, they clash over their funda…
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Esther Calling - I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless
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53:24
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They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, he wavered, and the relationship fell apart. Now she finds herself alone, angry, scared, and having to rethink her definition of family. She asks Esther, how she can remain hopeful when everything fee…
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Esther Calling - I Leave First So You Can't Abandon Me
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55:14
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This week, Esther talks to a caller who often feels let down by her friends. She longs for deeper and more meaningful relationships and worries she is perhaps expecting too much from them. Together, they explore how the emotional responses tied to her past influence her current relationships with friends and her mom. Topic - Relationships with Fami…
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Esther Calling - Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband
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A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in the middle and blamed by both sides. Together, they explore the family dynamics and the need for both parents to take responsibility for the relational space they share. Topic - Relationships with Fa…
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Way Too Old for This Sh*t: How Midlife Women Break Free from People-Pleasing & Burnout
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Welcome back, Thrive fam! I'm back with a laugh-out-loud, no-BS episode about why midlife women are just too damn old for over-giving, over-thinking, and pretending everything’s “fine.” If you’re ready to ditch people-pleasing and finally build self-worth, this episode is your must-listen. In This Episode: Where the heck have I been? (Spoiler: Thri…
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Ms. Entitlement and Mr. Sacrifice Out on a Date
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? An on-again, off-again couple in their fifties, dating in a post-divorce landscape, are struggling with different world views, priorities and sexual interests. Recognizing that their polarized dynamic takes the fun out of spending time together, Esther guides both towards less rigid perspectives. …
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I Can't Love You the Way You Want Me To
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Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries to help them notice their patterns of escalation and break the cycle they keep finding themselves in. Topic - Conflict & Polarizati…
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Esther Calling - Do You Love Me for Me or For What I Do for You?
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"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or not enough in her romantic relationships. Esther guides her to explore her sense of self-worth and ask for what she needs. Esther C…
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Esther Calling - To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First
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Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids. Esther Callings are a one time, …
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You are Vocal on the Criticism But Silent on the Compliments
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She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a life story where family is the center of everything, they feel completely alone. Can Esther help them write a new story? Want to lea…
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Esther Perel Invites Us to Imagine Our Preferred Future
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We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to face the unknown with curiosity and discovery. Join Esther Perel for a live conversation on the Vox Media Podcast Stage at South By Sou…
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A young couple has endured a series of crises early in their marriage, from a benign brain tumor to a serious car crash to the husband’s near-fatal heart attack. Following his recovery, he’s adapting to new physical limitations, while she says the children bear the brunt of his frustrations. Esthe…
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Esther Calling - No Longer Daddy's Little Girl
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48:26
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Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of her still very much-alive father. Esther helps her unravel questions about starting her own family amidst this painful cutoff. Esther …
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Esther Calling - I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself
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Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family background. Esther helps her confront these deeply rooted fears, encouraging her to vocalize her needs and to realize that not every…
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy. Want to lear…
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When the Turn On Becomes a Turn Off
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Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly open and honest about their fantasies. But after 15 years of marriage, his fetish is no longer her pleasure. Esther helps them uncover the underlying emotional needs driving their fantasies and encourage…
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Esther Calling - I'm Keeping the Baby...Now What?
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46:22
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They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her late thirties, and so after only three months together, she is pregnant, and they have broken up. Now, Esther meets her the month after their breakup and tries to help her illuminate a path forward. Es…
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Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esther helps a couple who were together for eight years and broke up a year ago. They've recently reconnected and wonder if they should give it another try. If they do, can they avoid falling into their ol…
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Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two
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For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck in their sexual pattern, where he always initiates, but when he initiates, she freezes. They try to figure out where they can go fro…
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Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?
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47:08
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This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current relationship that are informing the anxiety she feels when her partner initiates sex. This episode contains references to a sexual …
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Esther Calling - Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not That Into Me?
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A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits ghost her or did she miss something? For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts.…
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5 Easy Ways to Make Next Year the BEST Year!
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TWO SPOTS LEFT for THRIVE Midlife Program! My brand new positive psychology program with optional retreats for women over 40 to learn the knowledge, skills, and mindsets to Stop Overthinking, Realize Your Worth, & Have the BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE! ✨ Ditch the stuff that’s making you feel stuck. ✨ Discover what lights you up (and keeps you glowing). …
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Esther Calling - I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother
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55:12
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After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and the importance of self-acceptance. If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice …
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