The History Behind the Headlines
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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested ...
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Real talk about cheating, delivered by friends who get it. Your hosts are Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady who runs the advice site ChumpLady.com, and Sarah Gorrell, a BBC radio journalist and mighty single mum of four. We talk with resilient people who survived infidelity and to experts about cheaters, relationships, parenting, and, of course, mightiness. Sarah brings the dulcet tones. Tracy brings the snark. New episodes every week.
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The Divorce Podcast is a podcast dedicated to looking at divorce from new perspectives and driving reform. Hosted by Kate Daly, each episode invites experts from a variety of backgrounds and disciplines to discuss their own views on divorce, and debate them with the other guests.
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Robert Hopcke: Synchronicity: Meaningful Coincidences: How to Spot Them & Use Them to Grow
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1:00:41Have you ever experienced a strange, inexplicable coincidence that left you feeling “like a grand, mysterious character in a story?” One that seemed to suggest a particular relationship was “meant to be”, or, on the flipside, that it was time to let go? In this week’s classic episode, Andrew talks to Jungian analyst ROBERT HOPCKE about synchronicit…
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Divorce is not a magic bullet: separation advice from a marital therapist, Andrew G. Marshall
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36:58In this episode, Kate is joined by Andrew G Marshall, a therapist and writer, to discuss the most common mistakes to avoid when separating. About the episode: Kate and Andrew begin the episode by looking at Andrew’s motivations for becoming a therapist, following his personal experience of family members’ divorce as a child. Andrew explains the imp…
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In brief: What penguins can teach you about child-centered handovers
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11:54This week Kate is joined by Una Archer, founder of Help Your Child Thrive, to discuss handovers, why parents and even children might find them difficult and what you can do to make them easier. Una shares her insights about how to focus on yourself and effectively prepare your mindset for positive handovers. TW: This episode mentions domestic viole…
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Richard Blake: The Transformative Power of Breathwork
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42:35Could changing the rhythm of your breath offer the breakthrough you’ve been looking for? This week, Andrew talks to psychologist and breathwork expert Dr. Richard Blake—known as The Breath Geek—about the profound impact that conscious breathing can have on mental and physical health. Together, Andrew and Richard discuss: How breathwork can reduce a…
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Besides the cheating, what else didn't you know about? Listeners tell us the details of their cheaters double lives beyond the sex. The missing monies. The hooker habit. An entire other family. Where there's one secret, you may find others.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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Venus O’Hara plans to change the world, one orgasm at a time. She believes women are equally as sexual as men, and should have the time and space to embrace their multi-orgasmic potential. Venus is a British orgasm activist, author and feminist based in Barcelona. She has a hugely popular YouTube channel on which she discusses the female orgasm and…
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In brief: Five tips to build financial stability with Octopus Money
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21:16In this episode, Kate is joined by Ben Atherton, a financial planning expert from Octopus Money, to share his top five money-saving tips post-divorce or separation. For many couples, one person might have handled more of the financial planning, and the other might feel unsure about where to start - particularly around securing their financial futur…
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91. Reconciliation and the Dave Grohl Baby Mama Drama
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16:54In this episode Tracy gives her take on the news that Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum have decided to reconcile. While Grohl simultaneously has committed himself to being a "hands on" father with his daughter by his affair partner. Could we please change the discourse that single parents aren't family enough? And stop the assumption that everyo…
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Jack Bohannan: Deal Better With Criticism
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49:26
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49:26Can you criticise your partner without starting a flaming row, or causing them to retreat into a wounded silence? If not, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle for years to find a way to manage relationship conflict in an honest, constructive spirit. This week, Andrew discusses the secrets of better conflict with relationship coach JACK BOHANNON. A…
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Recipe for success: chef’s tips for moving on after divorce
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39:12In this episode, Kate is joined by Christopher Gillard, chef and writer, to discuss how cooking can help rebuild your life post-divorce. About the episode: The episode starts with Chris opening up about his separation story and the unexpected discoveries like pet-sitting and newfound love for cooking that inspired him to write his book ‘The Divorce…
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90. Her Husband Swears He Isn't Gay, He Just Cheats with Men
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15:58
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15:58Tracy and Sarah respond to a listener's dilemma about her husband. He's cheating with men, but swears he's not gay. She's trying to get him into sex addiction therapy. Also, a Fuckwit of the Week submission -- exotic vacations discoveries to which you weren't invited.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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Kate Lucey: Depression : What Worked For Me
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48:29
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48:29So many of us have experienced depression, and if not, we’re likely to have seen people we love battle it. In this week’s classic episode, author KATE LUCEY, who specialises in writing about mental health, talks candidly with Andrew about her own depression and the six-year journey she’s been on since her diagnosis: including physical symptoms and …
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In brief: Why we cheat - three main reasons
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11:31In the previous episode of The Divorce Podcast, Kate spoke to Cate Campbell about navigating intimacy when living together post-separation. In this episode, Kate wanted to delve deeper into another common challenge when it comes to sex and relationships – infidelity. What is it, why does it happen, and what can we do afterwards? About the episode: …
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89. Should You Tell the Children About the Affair?
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25:25In this episode, we react to an atrocious column in the New York Times by therapist Lori Gottlieb, where a woman asks if she should be honest with her children about their father's cheating and the resulting divorce. Gottlieb shames the woman for even considering speaking of her betrayal and defers to the man's narrative instead. (You drove him to …
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Polly Young-Eisendrath: Why Conflict is Necessary
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50:53Most of us dislike or even fear conflict with loved ones. Without it, however, you won't achieve sustained intimacy with your partner. This week, Andrew talks to writer, psychologist and Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath, the author of Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path. They explore the challenges and possibilities of build…
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Episode 20 - The Gaza Concentration Camp Plan
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1:35:36This episode examines what the UN has called "the cruelest phase" of the Israeli war and genocide in Gaza. The IDF and Israeli government are enacting a plan to conquer the entirety of Gaza, coral Palestinians into three smaller areas, and hold territory. In a new turn, Israel and the US have proposed a new joint project to "deliver aid" to those i…
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Did you thwart a cheater's happiness? Are you the obstacle to their greatness? In this episode Tracy and Sarah explore stupid cheater life plans. The grass is always greener on the other side of whatever they committed to. Including you. Listeners share the impulsive schemes and dreams, the alpaca farm, the missionary job that wasn't, and the lost …
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Living together after separation: intimacy, boundaries and break-up sex
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37:22In this episode, I am joined by an award-winning author, Cate Campbell, to discuss intimacy, whether trial separations are a good idea, and boundaries while living together post-separation. About the episode: Kate and Cate begin by discussing what intimacy might look like for ex-partners, especially for those who have separated but are still living…
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Are you one of the many people who end up shocked by the ultimate similarity of romantic relationships that felt very different starting out? Why is it that we find the same patterns repeating, the same problems coming up over and over? In this classic episode, Andrew talks to author and attachment theory specialist Tara Blair-Ball. Tara explains h…
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In brief: how parents can shape the future of research on child arrangements
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19:16In this episode, Kate is joined by Dr Sarah Foley, a Lecturer in Developmental Psychology at the University of Edinburgh. They explore her current research on children’s relationships with their parents in different post-separation child arrangements. Sarah talks about why this research is important and how you can get involved. About our guests: D…
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If you just discovered your partner cheating, chances are you got some common reconciliaton advice like "Wait 6 months before you make a decision." Or "Don't tell anyone." Or moronic warnings about "affair fog." (They know not what they do! Maybe if you wait patiently they'll return to you and it will Make Your Marriage Stronger!) In this episode, …
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Bisexuality and Sexual Fluidity: How to be Yourself in Intimate Relationships
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51:24
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51:24What does it mean to be truly seen and accepted in your sexuality? For those who identify as bisexual—or who experience sexual fluidity—the path to self-understanding and relational honesty can be filled with challenges, uncertainty, and social stigma. This week, Andrew talks with DIANE HASSALL, a Relationship and Psychosexual Psychotherapist, abou…
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Episode 19 - Israel's Ruthless War on Gaza
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2:09:13In this episode, Andrew Gavin Marshall and Chelsey G return to the subject of Israel's war on Gaza, from the negotiation of the ceasefire in January, violations of the agreement, to Israel's violent and destructive return to war in March. Moving from Trump's Gaza plan to the role of Egypt and Jordan, this episode takes a look at both the geopolitic…
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The mind-body connection, Pilates and divorce recovery with Psychotherapist Andrew Keefe
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34:11In this episode, Kate is joined by Andrew Keefe, a Psychodynamic Psychotherapist and Pilates Teacher, to discuss how Pilates can support you during divorce and aid your recovery afterward. Andrew shares the science of trauma, how the nervous system functions under stress and why Pilates is an effective tool to help with the emotional aftermath of a…
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86. Stop Labeling Partners of Sex Addicts "Codependent" - An Interview with Diane Strickland
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31:21In this re-edited interview, we talk with trauma specialist Diane Strickland and creator of the site yourstoryissafehere.com about sex addiction and partners being labeled "codependent." Why women are shamed for their anger. And much more.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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Episode 18 - Canada, America, and the Threat of Fascism
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1:35:52In this episode of In This Mad World, recorded on April 30, Andrew and Chelsey do a recap and analysis of the recent Canadian elections that brought former central banker Mark Carney to power and delivered a resounding loss for Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre. Additionally, they take a look at the construction of authoritarianism in America un…
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Kate Moyle: Improving your Body Image and Your Love Life
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51:36How can we learn to be at ease in our bodies so that we can be fully “in the moment” during sex? Anxiety about body image is one of the biggest obstacles to a happy, fulfilled sex life. Many people seek therapy to help them relax and enjoy sex with their partner, others struggle on in low-sex or no-sex relationships. In this classic episode, Andrew…
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In brief: Beat ‘divorce anxiety’, overwhelm and fear with four expert tips
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11:52As part of Mental Health Awareness week, today Kate answers a listener's question all about ‘divorce anxiety’. Divorce and separation are never easy, whether amicable or not. As a relationship counsellor and a divorcee herself, Kate shares some tips to help you cope when you feel overwhelmed by worry during this time. About the episode: Kate begins…
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85. Sexually Deceptive People -- An Interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla
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48:15In this re-edited version of an earlier recording, Sarah and Tracy spoke with Dr. Omar Minwalla, a therapist who is known for his work "The Secret Sexual Basement." He sees infidelity as abusive and a sexual deception problem, which makes him something of an outlier in the therapy community. We talk about his model, infidelity as abuse, and how to …
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Penny Wincer: How to Care Without Burning Out
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48:04Society would grind to a halt without the work done by unpaid carers - yet they are too often left to feel invisible, unsupported and alone. In this episode, Andrew talks to PENNY WINCER, the author of Tender: The Imperfect Art of Caring, about how to provide care for loved ones without burning out yourself. Penny shares her deeply personal story o…
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Who gets the dog? Legal truths, animal welfare and post-split pet arrangements with the RSPCA
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28:48In this episode, host Kate is joined by Dr Samantha Gaines, Head of the RSPCA’s Companion Animals Science and Policy department, and Carol Harte, Divorce Specialist at amicable, to debunk some common myths about separating with pets. About the episode: Kate, Carol and Samantha break down common myths about pet ownership during separation or divorce…
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84. Affair Proofing Your Marriage and Andrew G. Marshall
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42:21In this re-edited version of an early broadcast, Tracy and Sarah challenge therapist Andrew G. Marshall on his promise that marriages can be affair-proofed. Did he say that? Was he taken out of context when he told women that they must apologize to their unfaithful husbands?By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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When did you last learn to do something totally and utterly new? Tom Vanderbilt, author of Beginners: the Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning, was awestruck by his young daughter’s insatiable need to know how to do almost everything. He was inspired by her to embark on a year of learning purely for its own sake. Tom had a truly unique…
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In brief: Why Pep Guardiola's amicable approach to divorce is couple goals
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9:19This week, Kate is going behind the headlines of Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola and his ex-partner Cristina Serra’s divorce. Reports claim they’re using the ‘one lawyer, one couple’ approach to end their marriage while staying on good terms. About the episode: Kate breaks down the top three benefits of a collaborative divorce, using Pep Guar…
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83. The Weirdest Things Cheaters Wanted in the Divorce or Breakup
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34:55In this episode we hear about all the imponderable things cheaters wanted in the breakup. Not real estate, or children, or sentimental items. But weird stuff, like flooring tiles they'll never use. Or that book on West Virginia coal mining. Or your grandmother's dining room set. Is it spite? Are they clueless? Tracy and Sarah react to your many sub…
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In a world that often rewards toughness and detachment, could empathy actually be a hidden superpower? This week, Andrew speaks with psychiatrist and bestselling author Dr. Judith Orloff about how empathy can become one of the most powerful tools for healing, personal growth and connection. Drawing on neuroscience, psychology, and energy medicine, …
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82. The Jesus Cheater Who Thought She'd "Fight" for Him
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8:02In this short episode, Tracy and Sarah respond to a letter from a woman who's husband was astounded that after decades of marriage she left him. He was a church deacon, a Jesus cheater, with a double life. As she left, he told her "I thought you'd fight harder for me."By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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"I didn't skip a moment of the pain" Emma Campbell on surviving cancer, traumatic separation and single-parent guilt
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43:03In this episode, Kate is joined by author and speaker Emma Campbell, better known to her Instagram followers as Limitless Em, to discuss her separation stories, cancer diagnosis and passion for running. About the episode: Emma starts by telling Kate how her parents' marriage and her relationship with her dad shaped her own romantic life. They go on…
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Today, the “four pale horsemen” of war, famine, pestilence and death have broken into our comfortable lives once again. As the climate emergency and shortage become normalised, how do we live through crisis after crisis without falling into fear and anxiety on the one hand, or agitated reaction and rage on the other? Do we face the horsemen, go int…
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Support in unlikely places: Who really helps kids through parental separation?
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40:57In this episode, Kate is joined by the founder of Restored Lives Erik Castenskiold to discuss how to thrive as a child of separated parents, even as an adult. About the episode: Erik starts off by sharing his own experience of divorce and how it ultimately led him to found Restored Lives, a UK-based charity that provides resources and support for i…
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Keeping on the theme of good people, we asked listeners who helped them get through infidelity? Who was their guiding angel? A stranger, family member, friend? Cheaters might destroy your trust in humanity, but others renew your faith.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell
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Michele Weiner-Davis: When is it Time to Stop Working on Your Marriage?
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57:21Have you tried everything to fix your relationship, but nothing seems to work? Are you torn between staying and giving it one more try, or finally walking away? This week, Andrew talks with renowned couples therapist MICHELE WEINER-DAVIS about how to navigate one of the hardest decisions in a relationship: When is it time to stop trying? Michele is…
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Blame, forgiveness and key traits for divorce recovery
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15:57In this episode, Kate is joined by the founder of Divorce Recovery Seminars, author, former barrister, and family court judge Christopher Compston to discuss his personal experience of divorce through his unique professional legal lens. About the episode: Kate and Christopher start by discussing Christopher’s parents’ divorce and how this formed hi…
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We asked listeners -- what random act of kindness moved you after you were chumped? Tracy tells about her mysterious breakfast benefactor and Sarah shares a story about the time her car broke down. We hear about infidelity angels and kind strangers who appeared at just the right time with encouragement and support. A departure from the usual look a…
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Philip Carr Gomm: How to Live Authentically
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50:24Are you living a life you really believe in, or are you filling in time until your “real life” begins? Are you waiting on marriage, a better job, a new exercise regime or a beautiful house to create an authentic life? Humans do need to have goals and plans, but it is also destructive to ignore those inner voices telling us what would bring us indiv…
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Tracy and Sarah answer your letters including one from a woman who discovered her husband was telling people online that she was dead and referred to another woman and their child as "wife and daughter." Is this a game to him? Is he cheating? Or is this guy a sociopath? Another listener wonders what chumps would do differently if they knew about th…
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Carolyn Sharp: Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship
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45:20How do you keep the spark alive in your relationship when there are kids involved and you have ten, twenty, or thirty years on the clock? This week I talk to CAROLYN SHARP, a US-based marital therapist, and the author of Fire It Up: Four Secrets to Reigniting Intimacy and Joy in Your Relationship. We cover: Purpose: could you define a purpose for y…
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‘Silent’ separation, staying for the kids and writing to heal
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30:59In this episode, Kate is joined by award-winning author Laura Pritchett to discuss how a lack of communication led to the end of her marriage – and how journalling and writing helped her understand the truth and ultimately move on. About the episode Kate and Laura begin by discussing Laura’s essay, ‘No sound, no fury, no marriage’, and her divorce …
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This week we asked what your FWs were up to. Of course, the goal is meh, but some of us are still coparenting, or in the midst of divorce, or news of their misadventures travels back. Often with a large dose of schadenfreude and gratitude that these folks are no longer our problem. Aggravating, in trouble with the law, irresponsible... they didn't …
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Simon Roe: Are You Leading a Life of Quiet Desperation?
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50:35“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation” (Henry Thoreau). In this classic episode, Andrew interviews therapist SIMON ROE. Simon has based his life’s work on helping men live an authentic life. After himself going through a period of quiet desperation in his mid-thirties, he went on to he…
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