See you next week, Anchor. ___________________________________ The Creature Report Documentation & Archival Assistant! What would you like to access? >recent files loading files...... Password protected area. Proceed with password: ************************ [Access Granted!] >TCR-VPAL-ARCHIVAL_RECORDING_0820_SUBJECT1740ARBY_MISSING >TCR-VPAL 27_Addi…

Something is coming, something is leaving. Some things stay the same. But Anchor, dear, why don't you come near? Let us begin our game. The Creature Report Documentation & Archival Assistant! What would you like to access? >Security Password protected area. Proceed with password: *************** >Footage & Recording loading files...... Password pro…

After the past few weeks of airing unintentional audio, we're back to posting INTENTIONAL episodes! That's right! No more personal notes being leaked, we hope! Either way, this week we're SO excited to meet Selina, our first ever creature AND guest combo (that we knew about before going into the interview)! Tune in as Selina tells us all about life…

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What's wet, hungry, and made entirely out of either many, MANY tongues or one LARGE tongue? It's this week's Creature Report creature! We're joined today by Constance Community College student and local little guy Mincus Von Smurdlehoff as we explore Constance's Jar Museum and learn a thing or two about what Panic! At the Disco and Jonathan Frakes …

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Sneaking into places where you shouldn't be going? Not always great-- but today, we're heading to a house that is more than open to let my guest and I go bump in the night. That's right! New Creature Report, with expert of ghost hunting, colin jost'busting, podcasting, and arting, Martin Legosi Graves! Join us as we enter in the house of Martin's b…

Out for a day in the park, you'll never know who you'll find- or what you'll find! Take Thorenguard, for example. Thorenguard was minding her own business when suddenly, approaching them came anchor Val Petrone and, guest of the episode and the official creature therapist of Creature Report, Jess Lynne! Get to know our new friend with us as we talk…

Did you leave out the chickie tendos again? Great- now we know where they went, at least. This week, we're analyzing the Tender Angel, a beautiful creature with *checks notes* translucent wings, eats with it's backside, and a huge donger. Thankfully, we're not in this alone, as we're joined with one of the leading experts of the crypto-field, coden…

A smoky bar, 7 ft tall people, and a creature who almost could be Billy Joel, if Billy Joel's eyes were shaped like Massachusetts (both in eye shape and in pupil). Welcome back to a regular episode of Creature Report, featuring our friend looking for a new friend, codename Conrad Growler (cool name, right?). Join Conrad and I as we introduce oursel…

As we escaped the clutches of Qwerty last week, we take a lil break from creatures to let you meet our new intern! This is a recording from the Intern's first day we accidentally took, but it had some great stuff regarding creature exploration and how we do things here at the Creature Report studios! Great thanks to newest member of the team....uh.…

In a world of felt creation, imagination is our play station. Folks, friends, and pals all invited to the place where dreams are ignited welcome young and old unto a place of magic Szechuan Avenue! ....... ......but somethings wrong, isn't it?

Things are getting Weird around here on this weeks Creature Report. Weirder than usual, that is. This week we meet Ash Delaney, from “the Department of Transportation”, in a Barnes and Noble while discussing Jordans, beach balls, and ultimately our assimilation within the one true being that is simply known as: MegaFraiser. Content Warnings: hypnot…

After a bit of a hiatus, we're back and more monsterous than ever with PODCASTING'S OWN JEFF STORMER!!!! I know, we could hardly contain our excitement either. With Jeff, we meet up with a viscous sort of friend with a large body, brass knuckles for snacks, and an interest not only in Bruce Springsteen, but....well......Podcasting's Own Jeff Storme…

What has different eyes for different partners, is Beyoncé’s least favorite creature, knows the name of Zeus' penis, and has a huge crush on Chester Arthur? Well, find out tonight on a new Creature Report with Val Petrone and tonight’s guest, the magical, mystical, multifaceted creature handler and podcaster with a few godlike tendencies, JV Hampto…

Be kind today, we're approaching what some call "a gay little man that fucks good", as we meet up with friend of the show Arthur (no last name) and ......Arthur....or, Arthur and Arby. We figure it out by the end, we promise. So get your smoochin' lips ready, because this creature won't leave until the pact is sealed, and keep an eye on the curly f…

In quite the pickle tonight, viewers and listeners- or maybe, quite the chocolate orange? We get on the hunt for Miibo and find something a little different, all in the backyard Val's place- Joined with us today is local chocolatier and coffee crafter Emery Crumb, who is looking for a lost friend in all the right places. Sound FX Outdoors: https://…

We've got the purrrrfect creature for you today, viewers and listeners- all thanks to the help of podcasting powerhouse and audio wizard Ryan Boelter and his amazing audio prowess. Come join us in an abandoned amusement park where birds sing, cats meow, and Wigglesworth judges our taste in 80s rock and pop music. Sound FX found on https://freesound…

Tonight, viewers and listeners, we’re meeting up with my old friend from set- Glormph the Amorphous Blob to meet a friend of his whose abundance of video game skills and just right amount of boobs will have you saying “wait, is this creature going to rip off my entire arm?”. Venture into this apartment complex with us as we meet Daniel---er, not Da…

Happy Valentine’s Day, viewers and listeners. Tonight we have treats galore for you as we meet Sporty Roach, a creature whose interest in LARPing as an athletic person takes us to the community center pool and the local pizzaria. Joining us on this venture is the cute and pretty— I mean, clever and proficient former college turned newscaster Mitt B…

It's been a while, hasn't it......

It's been a long backlog, listeners and viewers. So here's the last one from Halloween: Tonight, instead of hitting the bars or partying, we're staying in with out guest anchor Ghosty and their new roommate, Roomie. Join us for talks about ghost hunting videos, living pet rocks, and definitely not Val getting sucked into the fifth dimension underne…

Grab your candy corn and divorce lawyer- the Creature Report sets out on a stakeout! Parked across the street from a spooky house, we're joined in tonights creature watch by none other than Addison Peacock! (No, not that Addison Peacock. A ghost who lives in the car with no relation to Addison Peacock, we swear). Will we find a spooky friend? Or pe…

Today we're greeted and co-anchored by Creature Report SUPERFAN Scottye Moore. Though we'll say the creature that they brought us too was a bit underwhelming, the emotions ran high and we wound up realizing that maybe the Creature Report was the friends you made along the way....or at least, the fans with a few personalities and bodily changes. a…

Lions and tigers and bears and creatures and monsters and cryptids, oh my! We're going out into the woods today with artist, performer, and creature psychic extraordinaire Krem Zaroogian! Here we meet a hot sort of cryptid with glitches, tentacles, and a pipe that would make most stoners cringe on sight. t…

Hitting the park today, meeting our new leggy, large, and legalist creature, Stick! Or, it's named Stick by our guest today, a whip-smart talking dog with a taste for biscuits and the unusual, our puppy pal Piper! Join me and my coanchor for dream reading, language discussion, and a Popeyes chicken sandwich. q…

Join just Val, and whatever this thing is. It's just Not A Ghost. y

We're going to the museum this episode of the Creature Report, meeting a creature we can see so many (69) sides of. Join Val Petrone and today's guest anchor, actress, podcast, and true dream of a being Alice Kyra, as we connect with a nameless, dimensionful creature who protects lgbt+ folks and screams psychically about stra--straig--oh, just tune…

TW; themes of unreality We're back, friends and foes, with another episode of Creature Report. Tonight, we dive into an abandoned(?) mall and come face to faceless with Beak Face. The mononymous, fabulous monster match maker and clown killer Nova gives us some monster dating tips while they join us for this reality bending creature. o…

Okay....let's get this one over with. Today's Creature Report might be a bit....underwhelming? Sorry about that; the monster is cool! The guest is....well....Alex Flanigan, FORMERLY of Cryptid Keeper. Let's get this show on the road, nothing to see here, except a psychic polyamorous gargoyle. x

Things are getting a little rosy here on Creature Report number 2! We're joined by night cryptojournalist Mae Murphy for wild things that go bump in the night in a Chuck E C-- I mean, a Childrens Entertainment Venue. Lots of teeth? Christian rock? Mysterious ringing? All that and more, when you tune in! q…

Breaking news! We head to the office to catch a brand new monster with 34 peepers peeled all around. Join senior anchor Val Petrone, and todays guest anchor author, educator, and podcaster @AidanChaser- Chase to meet the gooshiest corporate cog of a monster on the premiere episode of: the Creature Report. i…