This podcast explores the inner workings, struggles, challenges, and beauty of being in a relationship. It goes deep in uncovering how people have overcome challenges to become engaged and then married. It intentionally focuses on getting perspective from married men of color, especially married Black men, while providing a platform where people can learn from their stories. This podcast also highlights the mental burdens that stem from societal pressures, generational curses, gender related ...
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In this episode (Guilt-free sex), a few alums (Brandon, Jomar, and Paul) from the show wrap up their conversation with me as they dig into my journey to proposing to my wife. They try to understand why my fiancee is currently not my best friend. I highlight the ways that I’ve grown in my relationship. We discuss what you want and what matters in a …
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S04.E14 - Group Part 1: I chose to date differently
40:25
40:25
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40:25In this episode (I chose to date differently), I switch places with a few alums (Brandon, Jomar, and Paul) from the show and they ask me questions about my current relationship and journey to proposing. We discuss why I needed to take a break from the dating apps. I share how I met my fiancee at the time and explain why I set certain boundaries ear…
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S04.E13 - Aubrey Part 3: The "head of household" misnomer
41:39
41:39
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41:39In this episode (The "head of household" misnomer), I wrap up my conversation with Aubrey as fatherhood and what it means to lead a household. We debate whether there is a head of household in modern families. We talk about decision-making in relationships and explore the difference between dictatorship and leadership. We discuss how fatherhood exp…
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S04.E12 - Aubrey Part 2: Ess, Eff, Aye - Survive, Forgive, Advance
44:58
44:58
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44:58In this episode (Ess, Eff, Aye - Survive, Forgive, Advance), I continue my conversation with Aubrey as we discuss tough moments in his marriage and forward together. We talk about the idea of failing fast and cancel-culture, especially when it comes to dating. We discuss the importance of boundaries, understanding them, and holding fast to them. We…
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S04.E11 - Aubrey Part 1: Intentionality comes with sacrifice
45:51
45:51
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45:51In this episode (Intentionality comes with sacrifice), I begin my conversation with Aubrey as we discuss his journey in finding the right person and getting married. We talk about the challenge men have in trying to balance prioritizing finding the right person for your life and getting your life set up or straightened out. We discuss how he naviga…
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S04.E10 - Terrence Part 3: Fatherhood doesn’t start at birth
40:15
40:15
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40:15In this episode (Fatherhood doesn’t start at birth), I wrap up my conversation with Terrence as we discuss fatherhood and his growth as a father and husband. We talk about how to be more attentive during your wife’s pregnancy. We discuss the first couple of months after a baby is born and the main focus being survival on all fronts. We highlight th…
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S04.E09 - Terrence Part 2: Playing in the gray area
48:35
48:35
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48:35In this episode (Playing in the gray area), I continue my conversation with Terrence as we discuss the steps he took to build a solid foundation for his marriage. We talk about how he was challenged in growing intimacy within his relationship and marriage. We discuss the importance of having emotional safety in a relationship as well as how it can …
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S04.E08 - Terrence Part 1: Trying to protect you from me
49:02
49:02
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49:02In this episode (Trying to protect you from me), I begin my conversation with Terrence as we discuss him playing the gray prior to marriage and what changed for him in his journey to marriage. We talk about how proposing and getting engaged can feel heavier than actually getting married. We discuss why he waited until he proposed to say “I love you…
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S04.E07 - Lamar Part 2: You want someone that chooses you
49:18
49:18
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49:18In this episode (You want someone that chooses you), I wrap up my conversation with Lamar as we discuss his journey in marriage and fatherhood. We talk about navigating pregnancy issues and an atopic pregnancy. We discuss how you have to move differently in a committed relationship or marriage. We unpack some of the joy he gets from doing things wi…
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S04.E06 - Lamar Part 1: There was some healing that I needed
48:43
48:43
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48:43In this episode (There was some healing that I needed), I begin my conversation with Lamar as we discuss his journey in marriage and learning to trust. We talk about how to shoot your shot at a woman you see rejecting other guys. We discuss the importance of having a ride-or-die partner and someone who is willing to “shoot with you in the gym.” We …
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S04.E05 - LaDarius Part 2: Healing is not a one day thing
43:04
43:04
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43:04In this episode (Healing is not a one day thing), I wrap my conversation with LaDarius as we discuss his journey in marriage and faith. We talk about the importance of communicating expectations upfront. We discuss how he and his wife navigated several major life changes - getting pregnant, being engaged, becoming a father, dealing with COVID epide…
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S04.E04 - LaDarius Part 1: Your joy is your responsibility
41:26
41:26
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41:26In this episode (Your joy is your responsibility), I begin my conversation with LaDarius as we tackle how he faced his history, created boundaries, and found happiness as he pursued his now-wife for marriage. We discuss the importance of maintaining boundaries when dating and while trying to grow a deeper relationship with Christ. We talk about nav…
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S04.E03 - Allen Part 3: Sometimes you don't want to hear $h!t about yourself
39:18
39:18
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39:18In this episode (Sometimes you don’t want to hear $h!t about yourself), I wrap up my conversation with Allen and his evolution as a husband and father. We discuss how “good sex” looks different to different people. We talk about the misconceptions of sex and challenges that can come up in that area once married. We explore why women do not usually …
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S04.E02 - Allen Part 2: Nobody's perfect and no relationship is perfect
41:46
41:46
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41:46In this episode (Nobody's perfect and no relationship is perfect), I continue my conversation with Allen, exploring the ups and downs of his relationship and journey to marriage. We discuss his five-year engagement and how he navigated this journey with his fiancee. We talk about his rationale for having a child during the COVID epidemic and discus…
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S04.E01 - Allen Part 1: I gave her an ultimatum
39:12
39:12
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39:12In this episode (I gave her an ultimatum), I explore Allen's journey to marriage and challenges that come with dating. I talk to a friend, who's recently married after being engaged for five years, to uncover lessons learned. We discuss navigating life's transitions on one's journey to getting married. We talk about how having a child impacts your …
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S03.E15 - Darrin Part 1: Selflessly Selfish
51:45
51:45
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51:45In this episode (Selflessly Selfish), I discuss with Darrin how he navigated obstacles such as long distance, being an entrepreneur, and infidelity prior to getting married as well as how those lessons learned has helped him become a good husband. We focus on the challenges that come with trying to satisfy your passions as well as your partner. I t…
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S03.E14 - Carlton Part 3: The benefit of truly learning somebody
1:08:30
1:08:30
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1:08:30In this episode (The benefit of truly learning somebody), I wrap up my conversation with Carlton as we talk through the benefit of truly learning someone and having a healthy sex life in a marriage. We discuss the challenge that men have listening instead of problem-solving. We highlight the intentionality required to develop organic and strong rel…
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S03.E13 - Carlton Part 2: The unfortunate part of dating
50:15
50:15
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50:15In this episode (The unfortunate part of dating), I discuss the value of knowing your person’s heart with Carlton as he shares more of his journey in marriage and in fatherhood. We talk about why guys are okay dating more than one person at the same time and the tradeoffs you make while dating multiple people. We discuss how harder it becomes to da…
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S03.E12 - Carlton Part 1: Am I really willing to do the work?
44:16
44:16
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44:16In this episode (Am I really willing to do the work?), I discuss the feeling of knowing when you know and how they led to Carlton dating someone he randomly met prior to graduating college as well as their journey in marriage. We discuss the importance of being intentional when getting to know someone. We break down the process of knowing that you …
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S03.E11 - Courtney Part 3: I could have went off the rails
52:33
52:33
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52:33In this episode (I could have went off the rails), I wrap up my conversation with Courtney discussing critical moments that challenged his marriage early onsuch as dealing with a miscarriage and overcoming a severe covid experience. We emphasize the need to find time and space for yourself in the midst of internal and external chaos so you can show…
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S03.E10 - Courtney Part 2: From supporting myself to supporting three
40:37
40:37
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40:37In this episode (From supporting myself to supporting three), I talk to Courtney about his journey of becoming a stepfather. We discuss the importance of creating boundaries and relationship norms while learning to be a stepfather. We dive into the conversations required to engage as a parental figure while dating. We highlight why you should break…
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S03.E09 - Courtney Part 1: Shoutout to Bumble!
57:14
57:14
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57:14In this episode (Shoutout to Bumble!), I discuss how Courtney’s match on Bumble turned from a casual dating scenario to a marriage. We talk about dating a woman with a child and navigating how to build individual relationships with both. We highlight his doubts and misconceptions. We also examine the natural progression men go through in their jour…
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S03.E08 - Jourdan Part 2: I don't want a cheerleader
1:19:38
1:19:38
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1:19:38In this episode (I don’t want a cheerleader), I wrap up my conversation with Jourdan as he explains his need to have a partner he can trust and that can hold their own as he navigates his marriage with someone of a different ethic, cultural, and religious background. We run back their decision to not live with each other, despite moving to a new ci…
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S03.E07 - Jourdan Part 1: We never look at anybody’s Ls
50:44
50:44
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50:44In this episode (We never look at anybody’s Ls), I talk to Jourdan about his reluctance in participating in the dating game and how being honest with himself and what he wanted led to him finding his wife. We examine the world of dating today and thematic problems that people face. We discuss taking a different approach to dating and the importance…
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S03.E06 - Julian Part 3: We took the first baby for granted
35:24
35:24
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35:24In this episode (We took the first baby for granted), I wrap up my conversation with Julian, reflecting on an emotionally tough period in his marriage, dealing with pregnancy issues, and having a rainbow baby We talk about how it was supporting a pregnant wife while living long distance. We discuss the difficulty of having to terminate a pregnancy.…
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S03.E05 - Julian Part 2: Titles and definitions have to be the same
37:02
37:02
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37:02In this episode (Titles and definitions have to be the same), I continue my conversation with Julian as we reflect on dating apps and attributes he saw in his wife leading to his proposal. We highlight important attributes to look for in a partner. We discuss swiping with intentions on the dating apps. We examine the importance of supporting your p…
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S03.E04 - Julian Part 1: You have to let yourself heal first
47:57
47:57
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47:57In this episode (You have to let yourself heal first), I discuss finding love after a serious breakup with Julian and talk about his journey towards marriage and the road to fatherhood. We talk about recovering from a breakup after a long-term relationship. We discuss the importance of listening to your gut. We examine the scary part of giving up c…
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S03.E03 - Nkem Part 3: You're supposed to be the rock
1:01:09
1:01:09
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1:01:09In this episode (You’re supposed to be the rock), I conclude my conversation with Nkem discussing key aspects he considered in getting married and that he values in his marriage. We investigate the importance of marrying someone in the same culture. We discuss why for some guys it’s important for a woman to take their last name. We highlight how it…
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S03.E02 - Nkem Part 2: The streets retired me
54:33
54:33
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54:33In this episode (The streets retired me), Nkem and I examine some of the issues he had to overcome in his long distance relationship and marriage. We talk about when guys start looking for marriage in a relationship. We highlight how moving in with someone is a big step and some of the considerations to factor if doing it before marriage. We agree …
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S03.E01 - Nkem Part 1: Seeing more cons than pros
1:06:48
1:06:48
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1:06:48In this episode (Seeing more cons than pros), I discuss with Nkem how he transformed a long distance relationship into a marriage. We talk about doing things out of obligation and provide our thoughts on whether love and logic go together in a relationship. He explains how understanding love languages are even more essential when in a long distance…
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In this episode (Not a fan of the term dating), I provide a recap of what has been going on within me, share why there has been so much time between seasons, and express why I am not a fan of the term dating. Major theme from this episode include: Life lifes at times and there’s nothing wrong with focusing on the things you choose to prioritize Som…
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B02.E03 - Mosiac Matchmaking Part 3: Get your no's out of the way early
39:43
39:43
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39:43In this episode (Get your no’s out of the way early), I wrap up my conversation with Brooke Fitzpatrick, the founder of Mosaic Matchmaking and l get her thoughts as a dating coach. We talk about the costs of dating and some of the thoughts that go into asking a woman out on a date. We examine what’s a reasonable amount of time to chat before you mo…
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B02.E02 - Mosiac Matchmaking Part 2: Women should participate in courtship
23:20
23:20
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23:20In this episode (Woman should participate in courtship), I learn more about Mosaic Matchmaking with its founder Brooke Fitzpatrick We learn how she sets expectations for client’s and the potential matches and how she goes about matching them. We spend a great deal of time talking about how important it is to invest in your dating app profile. She h…
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B02.E01 - Mosiac Matchmaking Part 1: Matchmaking as a Service
36:06
36:06
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36:06In this episode (Matchmaking as a Service), I discuss with Brooke Fitzpatrick, the founder of Mosaic Matchmaking, and learn about her business, how she got started, and how she coaches singles as well as matches them with viable candidates. We talk about what she’s hearing from both men and women who are trying to find love. She highlights the impo…
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S02.E16 - DJ Part 3: Marriage is extremely dynamic
41:11
41:11
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41:11In this episode (Marriage is extremely dynamic), I wrap up my conversation with a guy who’s met his partner in Vegas while visiting from another country and examine his journey to marriage and fatherhood. We talk about the importance of making space and time for yourself, especially in a relationship. We discuss finances and allocating money for yo…
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S02.E15 - DJ Part 2: Stick to your guns
1:03:12
1:03:12
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1:03:12In this episode (Stick to your guns), I continue my conversation with a guy who’s met his partner in Vegas while visiting from another country and examine his journey to marriage and fatherhood. We talk about the male ego and when we need to check it. We discuss the attractiveness of women who can take charge and the importance of seeing your partn…
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S02.E14 - DJ Part 1: It’s about opportunity and access
58:38
58:38
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58:38In this episode (It’s about opportunity and access), I start my conversation with a guy who’s met his partner in Vegas, while visiting from another country and examine his journey to marriage and fatherhood. We talk about the adaptability required in a relationship, especially with long distance. We discuss women being risk averse and how expectati…
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S02.E13 - Trey Part 2: It wasn't a full court press
36:47
36:47
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36:47In this episode (It wasn’t a full court press), I continue my conversation with a guy I’ve known for 20+ years, who’s been remarried, and examine his journey towards finding love with the right person. We talk about the mixed messages that “courting” can send a woman in certain situations and how it can look like a full court press when it’s not re…
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S02.E12 - Trey Part 1: I was definitely on her B team
45:02
45:02
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45:02In this episode (I was definitely on her B-Team), I start my conversation with a guy I’ve known for 20+ years, who’s been remarried, and examine his journey towards finding love with the right person. We talk about the desire to hedge even though we have something good right in front of us. We discuss how some people get married and not know the re…
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S02.E11 - Todd Part 2: She taught me how to love
1:09:40
1:09:40
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1:09:40In this episode (She taught me how to love), I continue my conversation with the father of a friend, who's been married for almost 30 years, and examine his journey towards getting married at a young age and his personal growth over time. We discuss the importance of developing a solid relationship with the in-laws. We talk about the perspective of…
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In this episode (Marriage is a job), I start a conversation with the father of a friend, who's been married for almost 30 years, and examine his journey towards getting married at a young age and his personal growth over time. We share thoughts on how your perspective on relationships can change when a child is on the way. We talk about dating vers…
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S02.E09 - Bryan Part 3: It's a constant recalibration
58:07
58:07
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58:07In this episode (It’s a constant recalibration), I wrap my conversation with a friend, who's been married for 17 years, and examine his journey towards marriage with his high school “crush” and the obstacles and challenges they have faced while dating and in marriage. We talk about the role money plays in their relationship and how they do finances…
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S02.E08 - Bryan Part 2: Men are mad emotional
58:26
58:26
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58:26In this episode (Men are mad emotional), I continue my conversation with a friend, who's been married for 17 years, and examine his journey towards marriage with his high school “crush” and the obstacles and challenges they have faced while dating and in marriage. We talk about dating versus courting and recognizing red flags. We discuss navigating…
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S02.E07 - Bryan Part 1: I'm a friend zone survivor
48:09
48:09
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48:09In this episode (I’m a friend zone survivor), I start a conversation with a friend, who's been married for 17 years, and examine his journey towards marriage with his high school "crush” and the obstacles and challenges they have faced while dating and in marriage. We talk about falling in love with your best friend and the importance of having a p…
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S02.E06 - Jomar Part 3: Putting my feelings aside
1:01:02
1:01:02
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1:01:02In this episode (Putting my feelings aside), I wrap up my conversation exploring love and relationship as I talk to a friend, who's been married for 7 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have handled various challenges and adventures. We talk about the role money can have in a relationship. We discuss what the vo…
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S02.E05 - Jomar Part 2: Casting unnecessary blame
50:09
50:09
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50:09In this episode (Casting unnecessary blame), I continue my conversation exploring love and relationship as I talk to a friend, who's been married for 7 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have handled various challenges and adventures. We talk about contemplating divorce and the things that led to that like commu…
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S02.E04 - Jomar Part 1: We tend to proceed before acknowledging
47:13
47:13
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47:13In this episode (We tend to proceed before acknowledging), I explore navigating a relationship through marriage, tough career decisions, and intentions to grow a family. I talk to a friend, who's been married for 7 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have handled various challenges and adventures. We discuss the …
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S02.E03 - Mik Part 3: How do I out serve her
52:18
52:18
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52:18In this episode (How do I out serve her), I wrap my conversation with a friend, who's been married for 5 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have navigated challenging times. We discuss service leadership in a relationship and the mentality to out serve your partner. We talk about the roles and responsibilities i…
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S02.E02 - Mik Part 2: The little things add up
44:27
44:27
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44:27In this episode (The little things add up), I continue my conversation with a friend, who's been married for 5 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have navigated challenging times. We discuss evaluating someone as a wife versus a girlfriend and the difference between dating and courting. We talk about how he made…
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S02.E01 - Mik Part 1: You wasted her time
53:30
53:30
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53:30In this episode (You wasted her time), I explore the feelings that stem from trying to be strong amidst a pandemic and after the #GeorgeFloyd murder. I talk to a friend, who's been married for 5 years, and examine his journey towards marriage and how he and his wife have navigated challenging times. We discuss the pressure that men feel to be stron…
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