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Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
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Ever had that moment where you look around your life—your career, your relationships, your daily routine—and think, Wait… is this it? Is this all there is? You’re not alone. Midlife has a way of sneaking up on you with big questions, restless energy, and a deep craving for more. More joy. More love. More fulfillment. More you. That’s where this podcast comes in. Each week, I break down science-backed, brain-friendly sweary strategies into bite-sized, doable lessons that help you build a life ...
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Ms. Entitlement and Mr. Sacrifice Out on a Date
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54:32
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? An on-again, off-again couple in their fifties, dating in a post-divorce landscape, are struggling with different world views, priorities and sexual interests. Recognizing that their polarized dynamic takes the fun out of spending time together, Esther guides both towards less rigid perspectives. …
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I Can't Love You the Way You Want Me To
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1:04:48
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Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries to help them notice their patterns of escalation and break the cycle they keep finding themselves in. Topic - Conflict & Polarizati…
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Esther Calling - Do You Love Me for Me or For What I Do for You?
47:53
47:53
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"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or not enough in her romantic relationships. Esther guides her to explore her sense of self-worth and ask for what she needs. Esther C…
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Esther Calling - To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First
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50:37
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Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids. Esther Callings are a one time, …
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You are Vocal on the Criticism But Silent on the Compliments
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1:04:09
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She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a life story where family is the center of everything, they feel completely alone. Can Esther help them write a new story? Want to lea…
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Esther Perel Invites Us to Imagine Our Preferred Future
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55:48
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We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to face the unknown with curiosity and discovery. Join Esther Perel for a live conversation on the Vox Media Podcast Stage at South By Sou…
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A young couple has endured a series of crises early in their marriage, from a benign brain tumor to a serious car crash to the husband’s near-fatal heart attack. Following his recovery, he’s adapting to new physical limitations, while she says the children bear the brunt of his frustrations. Esthe…
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Esther Calling - No Longer Daddy's Little Girl
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48:26
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Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of her still very much-alive father. Esther helps her unravel questions about starting her own family amidst this painful cutoff. Esther …
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Esther Calling - I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself
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39:46
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Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family background. Esther helps her confront these deeply rooted fears, encouraging her to vocalize her needs and to realize that not every…
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This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy. Want to lear…
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When the Turn On Becomes a Turn Off
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1:03:12
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Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly open and honest about their fantasies. But after 15 years of marriage, his fetish is no longer her pleasure. Esther helps them uncover the underlying emotional needs driving their fantasies and encourage…
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Esther Calling - I'm Keeping the Baby...Now What?
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46:22
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They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her late thirties, and so after only three months together, she is pregnant, and they have broken up. Now, Esther meets her the month after their breakup and tries to help her illuminate a path forward. Es…
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Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esther helps a couple who were together for eight years and broke up a year ago. They've recently reconnected and wonder if they should give it another try. If they do, can they avoid falling into their ol…
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Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two
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56:47
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For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she does a session with the two of them as they detail how they feel stuck in their sexual pattern, where he always initiates, but when he initiates, she freezes. They try to figure out where they can go fro…
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Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?
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47:08
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This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther helps her untangle the traumatic pieces from her past before her current relationship that are informing the anxiety she feels when her partner initiates sex. This episode contains references to a sexual …
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Esther Calling - Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not That Into Me?
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47:47
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A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lover but she lost an important friend. Did this friend with benefits ghost her or did she miss something? For the month of January, Esther is offering 20% off to join her Office Hours on Apple Podcasts.…
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5 Easy Ways to Make Next Year the BEST Year!
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37:40
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TWO SPOTS LEFT for THRIVE Midlife Program! My brand new positive psychology program with optional retreats for women over 40 to learn the knowledge, skills, and mindsets to Stop Overthinking, Realize Your Worth, & Have the BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE! ✨ Ditch the stuff that’s making you feel stuck. ✨ Discover what lights you up (and keeps you glowing). …
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Esther Calling - I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother
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55:12
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After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through establishing boundaries with grace, breaking generational cycles, and the importance of self-acceptance. If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice …
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The Best & Worst Advice I Have Ever Received
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31:36
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Not all advice is created equal. Some of it is gold, but a lot of it? Straight-up garbage. This episode is about shaking off the bad advice that keeps us stuck and stepping into 2025 ready to own it. If you’re tired of the same old stuck, it’s time to shake things up. Your next chapter isn’t going to write itself—so let’s make it the best one yet. …
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Esther Calling - Grief is Like a Fingerprint
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49:36
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This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. This week, Esther talks to a woman stricken with grief--one year ag…
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After a good convo on my Rom-Com Rescue podcast where we talked about 2006 Classic rom-com, The Holiday, it made me think about crushes and unrequited love. My own experience and what I have learned (good and not-so-good) about crushes over the years. I share some personal stories and try to answer the question, if crushes and unrequited love feels…
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Say More - Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson
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59:01
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Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our sexual fantasies exist in this space and reveal us at our most bare, showing us not just what we want sexually, but what we want emotion…
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Well, it's been a week. This week on the podcast I talk about... How the election results have had me reeling. The stages I went through the last week. What is the most important thigns we can do right now. There is a new Essentials Version of Thrive out today that is on sale through the weekend. New prices start at $499 a month. Check it out at Th…
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A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about a fresh round of betrayal. She is humiliated and in crisis, while her partner’s ability to compartmentalize has rendered him a ghost in his own life. They love each other and parent two boys but may n…
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Finding Love Would Mean Letting Go of Who I Am
55:51
55:51
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He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious values as he does. As is often the case with Esther, the conversation that unfolds breaks down what's really underneath his seemingly high demands. This episode contains references to sexual abuse, plea…
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10 BS Beliefs I Was Taught As A Gen X Girl
42:31
42:31
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I think one of the roughest parts of being in midlife is realizing that most of the things you were taught about being a girl/woman growing were complete and total BS. I feel like I have been spending YEARS gut-checking my beliefs and realizing a bunch of the ideas I was sold were based in old school misogyny and were keeping me in a fear/scarcity …
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Esther Calling - You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding
49:19
49:19
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Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wants to invite your evil ex-boss to the wedding. In this Esther Calling a young woman seeks advice from Esther on how to handle the conflict arising with her fiancé and his decision to invite her former ab…
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Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She feels unsupported and like she's the only adult in the room. He is overwhelmed and constantly feels put down by her. They have split up emotionally but not yet physically. Esther helps them sort thro…
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