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The Modern Phoenix (formerly “It’s All Me”) In a culture that values logic, urgency, perfection, and sameness, The Modern Phoenix walks a different path: one that honors her unique mind, body and soul. Between information overload, the demands of modern life, and lifetimes of conditioning and “shoulds”, it can feel hard for a woman to know and listen to her own wants and needs. We’re so busy caring and doing and anticipating and managing that we forget ourselves. We hope there’s a better, mo ...
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Stay or Go? Healing Relationship Patterns with Katarina Polonska
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For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build…
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How Overfunctioning Disconnects You from Your Body and Your Life
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31:56
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Does every task on your to-do list feel as equally urgent and like a threat to your survival? In this week's episode, Gervase dives deep into the pattern of over-functioning that keeps so many women stuck in perpetual stress. You'll learn why your nervous system gets locked in high alert and overdrive, even for unimportant tasks such as the laundry…
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I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be
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25:33
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Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-h…
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What is Inner Knowing, And Why Will It Change Your Life
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The pressure to be more, do more, have more is exhausting, but what if the real problem isn’t you… but the unrealistic expectations you’ve internalized? In this week’s episode, G unpacks the invisible forces keeping women stuck in a cycle of never enough, and reveals why Inner Knowing is the path to authentic happiness and fulfillment. She’ll show …
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You Can't "Out-think" Your Triggered Body
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Have you ever found yourself completely overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck in a cycle you can't seem to break? You may feel your body tense up, your mind race, or feel paralyzed by indecision. You know you’re triggered, but you’re not so sure what to do next. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase dives into what it actually takes to move th…
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Have you ever felt like something in your life, career, or relationships isn’t working, and instead of questioning the system, you immediately assume you must be the problem? That there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not trying hard enough, that if you were just different, everything would fall into place? This episode of The Modern Phoeni…
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It's Not Your Job To Make Other People Happy
19:59
19:59
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How often do you hold back, soften your words, or twist yourself into knots just to make sure no one gets upset? Whether it’s navigating a tough conversation with your partner, setting boundaries with your kids, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own truth…
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Why Women Don't Like to Cry (And Why You Should Start)
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Have you ever been told that you’re too emotional? Or do you avoid crying at all costs because you don’t want to look weak? In this week’s episode, Gervase flips this narrative upside down, offering a powerful reframe that reveals why crying is actually a profound act of healing, as well as an opportunity for connection and growth. Listen in as she…
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My mental health story & what therapy couldn't "fix"
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When it’s deeper than talk therapy, it needs a mind-body-soul approach. This week on the Modern Phoenix, Gervase shares insights from her mental health journey turned full-blown personal evolution. Listen in as she opens up about how transitioning from mind-based therapy to soul and body-centered practices like focalizing, somatic healing, and nerv…
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Matrescence: Does becoming a mother change… everything? with Jessie Harrold
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The transition into motherhood reshapes not just our roles, but our very beings. In this episode, Gervase Kolmos sits down with Jessi Harold, author of Mothershift, to explore the transformative journey known as matrescence. Jessi shares her insights on how becoming a mother can be both a radical shift and a rite of passage filled with growth, chal…
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Navigate the demands of the new year with greater ease, intention, and authenticity. In this week’s grounding episode, Gervase invites you to reflect, reset, and reconnect with the cycles of nature around (and within) you. She explores the effect of the Winter Solstice, our changing assignments for this season, and discusses how aligning with natur…
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How my body helped me make up with my husband
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23:52
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What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn’t in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connecti…
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Breaking the Cycle of Fear-Based Parenting with Wendy Snyder
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From threats and punishments to connection - this one goes out to the parents of strong-willed children. In today’s episode, Gervase welcomes Wendy Snyder, certified parenting educator and family life coach, to discuss the power of positive, connection-based parenting. Together, they explore the challenges, myths, and opportunities of this parentin…
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I have to say the right thing or they’ll be mad
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13:17
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In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: “I have to say or do the right thing, or they’ll be mad.” Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustr…
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This week, Gervase takes on a limiting belief that surfaces in the lives of many modern women: it’s not okay to be wrong. Learn why this belief leads to fear, power struggles and a lack of authenticity in your life. You’ll discover why ruminating and gaslighting are trauma-based activation responses, and how leaning into body wisdom and the practic…
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Welcome to The Modern Phoenix Podcast! Born from the ashes of the “It’s All Me” podcast, The Modern Phoenix is here to guide, inspire, and empower you to rise into the truest, most powerful version of yourself. In this episode, Gervase shares the heart behind the podcast rebrand, what it means to be a “modern woman,” and how the Phoenix archetype o…
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151: Why Permission is Where Healing Begins
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On this week’s solo episode of the IAM podcast, Gervases seizes inspiration from a recent client interaction, discussing how patterns of disempowerment have left many women with the sneaky survival strategy of hyper-vigilance around the needs of others, and how permission, resource, and pleasure can allow us to bring more regulated versions of ours…
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150: PANDAS: Biggest Lessons Learned One Year Later
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This week on the IAM podcast, after a full year of navigating her daughter’s PANDAS diagnosis,Gervase shares her lived experience of integrating relationship, resource, pleasure, and advocacy into her approach to life and her daughter’s health. Listen in as Gervase discusses the importance of finding your “lighthouse” relationship in stressful time…
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Join Gervase this week on the It’s All Me podcast as she shares how important the practice of resourcing has become in her life, especially in times of stress, like her recent bout with Covid during “Back to School’ season. Listen in as she shares why resourcing moment to moment is actually a regenerative practice that calms the nervous system, and…
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Welcome back to a new season of the It’s All Me podcast! In this solo episode, Gervase shares her personal experiences of integrating a mindset that changed the trajectory of her life, and continues to help her along life’s more recent rejections. Listen in as G redefines rejection as an opportunity for redirection, discusses how we can keep the en…
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147: Stop Trying to Fix Yourself; Your Body Has a Better Path
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This week on the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase addresses the impact of going beyond the mind when it comes to healing. Listen in as she discusses the patterns that have led to a wave of traumatized nervous systems in modern society, and the risks we take when we focus on the problem rather than resourcing, regulation, and repair. Keep listening as G…
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146: Burning it all down…again and again and again with Jeannine Yoder (Audience favorite)
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This week on the It’s All Me podcast, we are bringing back a much-loved episode with Jeannine Yoder (Kochuba). In this episode, Gervase invites us to sit down with fellow AMDA graduate and New York Times Featured Feminine Leadership & Business Coach Jeannine Kochuba. Gervase and Jeannine share their journeys of becoming the women they are today by …
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145: Challenge vs Suffering: Rewiring our Brains for Curiosity and Pleasure
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This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase is dropping in with a solo episode on the difference between experiencing life’s challenges and allowing ourselves to sit in a state of suffering. Sharing her thoughts on the internalized systems that make suffering and martyrdom mindsets normal, Gervase also shares her own personal experience of addressing the…
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144. How to Access More Pleasure as a High-Performing Woman
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On this week’s solo episode of the I AM podcast, Gervase reminds high performing women - like you - of the transformative power of taking time to smell the metaphorical roses, and how it could actually be the most productive move you make in your entire life. Listen in as she shares what healing looks like when we pause and pendulate between the sy…
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143: Partnerships the Phoenix Way: How to Cultivate Compassion, Agency, and Pleasure
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On this solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase shares her personal insights on partnership, co-creating safety and trust within your relationship to ask for what you need, and the importance of resourcing and living a life you love as individuals as well as a couple. She shares her personal journey of navigating a 14 year marriage through…
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