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Why Don't We Talk About This?

Paula McMillan-Perez, LCSW

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You already know that there are a bunch of things people talk about in pockets or completely avoid. Things that may be controversial or uncomfortable but we need to get them off our chest. During "Why Don’t We Talk About This?", licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, Paula McMillan-Perez speaks with folks whose learned experiences and/or professions give way to a diverse knowledge of topics that we just aren't talking about...but should be!
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Send us a text Sandra discusses her journey with ADHD, diagnosed at age 38, and the concept of being "neuro spicy." She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, advocacy, and understanding one's brain to manage ADHD effectively. Sandra highlights the need for accommodations in professional settings, such as performance improvement plans (PIPs),…
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Send us a text Victor discusses his journey from macro social work to advocating for social workers' involvement in politics. He emphasized the importance of local government and his role in Higher Education. Additionally, he shares that his “Why?” regarding running for president elect of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) is to addr…
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Send us a text Jose speaks about his personal and professional experience with body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) like hair pulling and skin picking. He highlights 4-5% of the population suffers from BFRBs, with nail biting affecting 20-30%. Alviar emphasized the importance of reducing shame and increasing awareness, noting that BFRBs are no…
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Send us a text Paula shares some the mental health benefits of owning or engaging with pets, highlighting Mental Health Awareness Month. She shares her personal experience with her rescue service dog, Fonzie, a tripawed cancer survivor, highlighting how pets can improve mood, reduce anxiety, and increase daily exercise. As well as some additional w…
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Send us a text Stephanie, a Nuyorican (a Puerto Rican located in New York City-in this case, The Bronx), trauma-born Capricorn, mother of three and first year MSW student/intern, discuss her journey from being a soldier in the U.S Army from deployment in Iraq and beyond to today. She highlights the pivotal role of therapy in her recovery and speaks…
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Send us a text JR Perez discusses the challenges and benefits of working together with Paula in business. They highlight the learning curve of running Personalize Your Coaching and Personalize Your Therapy, which started in 2018 and 2023, respectively. Paula shares her struggles with imposter syndrome and the need for a CEO mindset. JR emphasizes t…
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Send us a text Paula speaks about the concept of grace, exploring its importance beyond religious context and added use during the early days of the pandemic. She identifying ways that grace can be defined and practiced differently based on individual beliefs and values. Paula shares personal experience, including her own challenges and emphasizes …
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Send us a text Carolyn explores the concept of scarcity mindset, particularly within immigrant communities. She and Paula share personal experiences associated with financial struggles and the cultural emphasis on resourcefulness over buying new items. Carolyn recounts her mother's journey from factory work to a stable career, highlighting the gene…
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Send us a text On the final episode in the series about the seven types of rest, Paula discusses the intricacies of social rest. She emphasizes that social rest is often overlooked but crucial for mental and emotional well-being and highlights the need to be intentional about social connections, focusing on those who uplift and support us, and avoi…
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Send us a text In the next episode on the series exploring the different types of rest, Paula digs into the concept of spiritual rest. She reflects on her experience at Retreat, Remix, Revive highlighting the challenges of balancing roles as a facilitator and participant and the ways it connects to this form of rest. Paula explains that spiritual r…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the importance of emotional rest as the next part of the series on rest. She highlighting its role in maintaining overall well-being and mental health as well as explains what emotional rest actually involves. Paula emphasizes emotional rest and the ways complements other types of rest, such as physical and mental, an…
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Send us a text Paula examines the importance of creative rest, in the fourth of the rest series. She highlights the challenges of maintaining creativity in a fast-paced world, noting that many people struggle with finding joy and inspiration. Creative rest is crucial for avoiding burnout, enhancing problem-solving skills, and fostering flexible thi…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the importance of sensory rest, in the third of seven essential types of rest that will be explored in this series. Emphasis is placed on disengaging from screens and devices to reduce constant stimulation. She highlights the challenges of maintaining sensory rest in a tech-dependent society, noting the impact on ment…
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Send us a text Paula explores the importance of mental rest, the second of seven essential types that will be explored in this series. She explains the ways mental rest involves a break from constant mental stimulation, which is crucial for brain function and overall well-being. Paula highlights the challenges of achieving mental rest in a digitall…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the importance of rest, emphasizing that it involves more than just sleep. She highlights seven types of rest that will be explored in this series, starting with physical rest, which includes sleep and gentle movement. She stresses the need for consistent rest to avoid burnout and improve overall health, including bra…
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Send us a text Julie returns to share highlights her and her twin sister’s adoption search in her new book, “Twice the Family” which covers their upbringing in a large Irish Catholic family. She highlights the unique bond twins share, challenges associated with a disabled sibling and the impact of infertility on her family. Julie emphasizes the imp…
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Send us a text Vanessa and Paula who are long time friends and former colleagues discuss their evolving friendship as well as the complexities of adult relationships. Vanessa highlights shared experiences, importance of honestly and the challenges associated with maintaining connections as we grow older. Emphasis is placed on the value of genuine, …
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Send us a text Marci returns to speak with Paula about her new app, "Let's Talk About Money," designed to help take the guess work out and facilitate financial conversations. The app, available on Android, includes over 100 conversation starters to help users discuss various financial topics, such as debt and medical expenses. Marci emphasizes the …
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Send us a text Debbie discusses the challenges of working with children in school settings, emphasizing the need for adults to develop their emotional intelligence. She highlights the impact of unresolved adult trauma on children and the importance of understanding the context behind children's behaviors. Gonzalez critiques the common practice of p…
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Send us a text During this fun-size episode to get the ball rolling on our New Year, Paula discusses the cultural and personal pressures associated with resolutions and resistance towards them. She highlights the societal expectation to be productive, the intrinsic need to rest, explores the concept of resistance in therapy as well as the importanc…
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Send us a text In our highly anticipated Year-End "Ask Paula Anything - Vol.3" Episode, Paula dives into an array of questions submitted by our vibrant and supportive community of listeners. She shares her unique perspectives and offers a wealth of personalized feedback covering a variety of topics that resonate with many. Paula provides insightful…
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Send us a text Cristino, a first-generation Salvadorian social worker, discusses his diverse roles, including forensic social worker and PhD student among others he currently holds. He emphasizes the evolving use of social media as a tool for connection and information dissemination. In addition, he critiques the social work licensing exams, arguin…
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Send us a text Erica discusses the importance of mentorship in her career and the upcoming third volume of "Latinx in Social Work," which focuses on mentorship. She highlights her journey, including support from mentors referred to as Madrinas and the challenges she faced, including toxic work environments and betrayal. Erica emphasizes the role of…
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Send us a text It's been 100 episodes and what better day to share how thankful we are for the show than Thanksgiving. (United States Version) Paula and everyone at Fonzie-Try Media appreciate everyone who been a guest, listened, followed, and shared. Enjoy and thanks for listening to our show! Follow us on Instagram @whydontwetalkabouthispod…
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Send us a text Joe shares his transformative journey from gun violence and incarceration to becoming a social worker. He highlights his motivations, including the birth of his daughter and the desire to break the cycle of crime as his “Why?” while uplifting the importance of lived experience in therapy, advocating for more clinicians with similar b…
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Send us a text Gabi and Paula converse about her career trajectory, starting out as a foster care social worker, transitioning to Founding Social Worker & Director of Social Services at Mott Haven Academy Charter School and involvement with launching a program at NYU Silver School of Social Work designed specifically to train school social workers.…
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Send us a text Jaran shines a light on his experiences as a Functional Family Therapist and discusses some of the challenges he has observed in his work with youth and families, particularly during the early days of the pandemic, highlighting rising truancy and violence among youth. He reflects on the impact of societal and personal expectations as…
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Send us a text Paula is joined by an awesome panel of dedicated social workers Ancy, Cindy, and Emily who discuss the origins and impact of their annual retreat for school social workers and youth mental health providers. The retreat, which began in March 2024, aims to address burnout, provide continuing education units, and foster community among …
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Send us a text Motivated by recent conversations with parents and students, Paula explores the critical importance of sleep for adolescents and other age groups, shares information on the impact of insufficient sleep on our mental and physical development/health, and suggestions to develop a sleep schedule. Follow us on Instagram @whydontwetalkabou…
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Send us a text Jacob discusses his experiences navigating the complex healthcare system, emphasizing the importance of self-advocacy and caregiver support. He shares his experiences with open-heart surgeries and his interdisciplinary approach to healthcare, advocating for a multi-dimensional perspective, stressing the importance of open dialogue an…
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Send us a text Layne, a charity auctioneer from Toronto, shared their journey of raising nearly $55 million for charity over 15 years, and discussed their transition from a financial advisor to an auctioneer after a transformative experience at a charity gala. Layne highlights the challenges of being a non-binary person in a male-dominated field an…
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Send us a text Bronte shines a light on her journey and approach to language learning. She affirms the importance of understanding learning styles and the need for clarity in language learning. Bronte shares her experience starting in sixth grade and her passion for languages, which has led her to learn 11 languages! She highlights the significance…
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Send us a text Paula picks apart the emotion of joy, speaking to its role in both the mental and physical of our existence. She shares the biological aspects of the way joy is regulated by the frontal lobe and thalamus, associated with neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. Paula highlights the challenges in cultivating joy as well as sugge…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the emotion of fear, emphasizing its impact on our mental and physical health. She defines fear, and shares information associated with the fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses, and the impact of prolonged fear. can lead to negative health effects, including anxiety, depression, and cardiovascular issues. Paula sugge…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the emotion of sadness, emphasizing its early development in infancy and its role in organizing behavioral responses. She highlights the challenges of expressing sadness, advises exploring acknowledging feelings, and the importance of identifying trusted individuals to confide in among other supportive strategies. Fol…
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Send us a text Paula discussed the complexities of anger and its various expressions, triggers, and cultural influences. She emphasized the importance of identifying the underlying causes of anger to manage it effectively and, highlighted the negative consequences of unmanaged anger on one's well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. F…
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Send us a text Paula McMillan-Perez discusses the French word 'Ennui,' as an emotion. She explains the differences between ennui and boredom, and the differences between a deeper issue like depression. Paula emphasizes the importance of recognizing and naming emotions like ennui to help individuals feel seen and understood. She also provides strate…
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Send us a text Paula explores the concept of nostalgia, discussing its definition, positive and negative aspects, and influence on collective memory. She highlights the importance of balancing positive and negative experiences as well as leveraging nostalgia as a coping mechanism for trauma and significant life changes. Paula shares her experiences…
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Send us a text Paula discusses the complexities and manifestations of embarrassment, the history of its origins as well as responses/strategies for managing it. She also shares a personal story where she was impacted by embarrassment and why it is so important to reflect on these experiences. Follow us on Instagram @whydontwetalkabouthispod…
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Send us a text Paula explores the complex emotion of envy, defining it and its differences with jealousy. She examines the negative impact of envy on mental health and various relationships. Paula also delves into the various forms of envy and their impact on motivation and self-esteem, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these…
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Send us a text Paula provides an overview of Anxiety and how it affects both adults and adolescents in the US, with gender differences in prevalence. She explores some factors contributing such as social exclusion, bullying, family dynamics, trauma, and personal factors as well as practical strategies for addressing anxiety at any level. U.S Anxiet…
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Send us a text Paula explores challenges faced by youth in accessing summer engagement and programs due to financial constraints, transportation issues, or other factors as well as the impact of summer break on mental health, including anxiety and disrupted daily routines. She emphasizes the importance of engaging in meaningful conversations with y…
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Send us a text Whitley explores personal experiences with racial trauma in predominantly white institutions, addresing microagressions and navigating the importance of creating spaces for black women to validate experiences. She also speaks about the value of finding healing in their shared struggles, while also acknowledging the intersections of r…
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Send us a text Claire shares personal experiences and professional insights on grief and trauma with Paula while also emphasizing the importance of authenticity, empathy, and holistic healing approaches. She discussed the challenges of supporting clients through their grief journeys and the need for shared understanding as well as the importance of…
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Send us a text Paula explores some themes that can impact parents as they work to connect with teens, including navigating emotional experiences and difficult interactions. She highlights the challenges of parenting in the digital age, emphasizing the need to find a balance between using tech and personal interaction while also cultivating safe and…
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Send us a text Shell speaks passionately about her journey of impact to enhance understanding and working with individuals with ADHD in a way that acknowledges their strengths and areas in need of improvement all while providing tailored support for their career development. Guest Bio: Trained by Richard Bolles, author of What Color Is Your Parachu…
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Send us a text Elana candidly shares the challenges and opportunities faced by social workers in their careers, particularly those who have pursued non-traditional paths, identifies the importance of creativity, self-awareness and resourcefulness as well as additional ways that emerging social workers can access support and resources to find joy an…
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Send us a text Urmi speaks candidly with Paula about menstrual stigma, its cultural and societal roots as well as personal experiences as a Muslim woman. She emphasizes the importance of education and open discussion as well as creating access and celebration to increase empowerment and decrease shame. Urmi Hossain is Bengali by blood and Italian b…
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