Best Tracy Schorn Podcasts (2025)

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88. Stupid Cheater Life Plans 32:03

3d ago32:03

32:03

Did you thwart a cheater's happiness? Are you the obstacle to their greatness? In this episode Tracy and Sarah explore stupid cheater life plans. The grass is always greener on the other side of whatever they committed to. Including you. Listeners share the impulsive schemes and dreams, the alpaca farm, the missionary job that wasn't, and the lost …

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87. Worst Reconciliation Advice You Got 38:21

11d ago38:21

38:21

If you just discovered your partner cheating, chances are you got some common reconciliaton advice like "Wait 6 months before you make a decision." Or "Don't tell anyone." Or moronic warnings about "affair fog." (They know not what they do! Maybe if you wait patiently they'll return to you and it will Make Your Marriage Stronger!) In this episode, …

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86. Stop Labeling Partners of Sex Addicts "Codependent" - An Interview with Diane Strickland 31:21

18d ago31:21

31:21

In this re-edited interview, we talk with trauma specialist Diane Strickland and creator of the site yourstoryissafehere.com about sex addiction and partners being labeled "codependent." Why women are shamed for their anger. And much more.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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85. Sexually Deceptive People -- An Interview with Dr. Omar Minwalla 48:15

25d ago48:15

48:15

In this re-edited version of an earlier recording, Sarah and Tracy spoke with Dr. Omar Minwalla, a therapist who is known for his work "The Secret Sexual Basement." He sees infidelity as abusive and a sexual deception problem, which makes him something of an outlier in the therapy community. We talk about his model, infidelity as abuse, and how to …

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84. Affair Proofing Your Marriage and Andrew G. Marshall 42:21

1M ago42:21

42:21

In this re-edited version of an early broadcast, Tracy and Sarah challenge therapist Andrew G. Marshall on his promise that marriages can be affair-proofed. Did he say that? Was he taken out of context when he told women that they must apologize to their unfaithful husbands?By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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83. The Weirdest Things Cheaters Wanted in the Divorce or Breakup 34:55

1M ago34:55

34:55

In this episode we hear about all the imponderable things cheaters wanted in the breakup. Not real estate, or children, or sentimental items. But weird stuff, like flooring tiles they'll never use. Or that book on West Virginia coal mining. Or your grandmother's dining room set. Is it spite? Are they clueless? Tracy and Sarah react to your many sub…

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82. The Jesus Cheater Who Thought She'd "Fight" for Him 8:02

1M ago8:02

8:02

In this short episode, Tracy and Sarah respond to a letter from a woman who's husband was astounded that after decades of marriage she left him. He was a church deacon, a Jesus cheater, with a double life. As she left, he told her "I thought you'd fight harder for me."By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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81. Who Was Your Infidelity Angel? 22:58

2M ago22:58

22:58

Keeping on the theme of good people, we asked listeners who helped them get through infidelity? Who was their guiding angel? A stranger, family member, friend? Cheaters might destroy your trust in humanity, but others renew your faith.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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80. Random Acts of Kindness 29:06

2M ago29:06

29:06

We asked listeners -- what random act of kindness moved you after you were chumped? Tracy tells about her mysterious breakfast benefactor and Sarah shares a story about the time her car broke down. We hear about infidelity angels and kind strangers who appeared at just the right time with encouragement and support. A departure from the usual look a…

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79. Does My Husband Have Another Wife? 15:37

2M ago15:37

15:37

Tracy and Sarah answer your letters including one from a woman who discovered her husband was telling people online that she was dead and referred to another woman and their child as "wife and daughter." Is this a game to him? Is he cheating? Or is this guy a sociopath? Another listener wonders what chumps would do differently if they knew about th…

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78. F*ckwits of the Week 33:16

2M ago33:16

33:16

This week we asked what your FWs were up to. Of course, the goal is meh, but some of us are still coparenting, or in the midst of divorce, or news of their misadventures travels back. Often with a large dose of schadenfreude and gratitude that these folks are no longer our problem. Aggravating, in trouble with the law, irresponsible... they didn't …

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77. Mind Movies and Rumination After Infidelity 34:07

3M ago34:07

34:07

Part of the trauma after infidelity is rumination. The endless mind movies reliving what you know and, worse, imagining what you don’t. In this episode, listeners tell us how they dealt with the endless intrusive thoughts. What therapies worked, who helped, and how they diverted their attention elsewhere. (True crime podcasts anyone?)…

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76. Aunties on the Bench: Advice from Chumps to the Newly Betrayed 30:17

3M ago30:17

30:17

What advice would you give a new chump knowning what you know now? We heard from many listeners who had hard-won advice for the newly betrayed. How to choose who you tell, to focusing on self-protecting over reconciliation, and deep regrets about pick-me dancing. Who better to tell you than the people who lived it? The idea for the episode was take…

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75. Cheater Non-Apology Apologies 29:05

4M ago29:05

29:05

"I'm sorry, but you didn't like octopus," is among the more ridiculous apologies a cheater has given for being unfaithful. In this episode, Tracy and Sarah react to your submissions for lamest non-apology apologies you received. The sad sausages for whom this hurts them too, more really. Those whose only crime was wanting happiness, and how can you…

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74. How to Be a Supportive Friend to Someone Who Was Cheated On 21:42

4M ago21:42

21:42

Sarah and Tracy answer a letter from a listener wondering how she can be a supportive friend to someone who is in an abusive marriage with a cheater. When should you worry about your own personal safety, or call child services? Is there anything you can do beyond standing by and listening?By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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73. Coercive Controllers -- An Interview with Dr. Emma Katz 54:29

4M ago54:29

54:29

Tracy talks with domestic violence researcher Dr. Emma Katz about her book, "Coercive Control in Children's and Mothers' Lives." Many recognize violent behavior as transgressive, but more common abuse tactics fall under coercive control -- intimidatation, humiliation, isolation. The abuser's goal is to preserve their entitlement by breaking down th…

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72. She's 7 Months Pregnant and Caught Her Husband Sexting 23:03

4M ago23:03

23:03

Sarah and Tracy respond to a letter from a woman who discovered her husband is sexting and on dating site while she is 7 months pregnant. She thinks he has an addiction to the validation, but still loves her. It's just that he starts cheating and gets checked out. Should she move in with her parents? She wants to know how she can be mighty now, whe…

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71. Why Can't I Leave Him? 15:28

5M ago15:28

15:28

Tracy responds to a woman, Beth, who writes in to say she can't seem to leave her partner even though she's deeply unhappy. She has shady, circumstantial evidence of cheating, but hasn't caught him. But meanwhile he's inappropriate with other women and has a porn addiction. She's not financially dependent on him, so what exactly is keeping her stuc…

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70. Holiday Traditions You Don't Miss 31:02

5M ago31:02

31:02

Sarah and Tracy learn what holiday traditions you don't miss from your cheating exes. From obnoxious mother-in-law gifted decor, to the ex who threw a fully lit Christmas tree in a fit of rage. What are you thrilled to no longer live with and what new traditions did you replace the old ones with?By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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69. Stupid Things People Say When You've Been Cheated On 40:00

5M ago40:00

40:00

People say the most insensitive things when they learn you've been cheated on. Everything from the cliched "It takes two to tango" or "No one knows what goes on in a marriage" to the straight-up victim blaming of "you didn't give him enough sex." Or the self-congratulation of "I'm glad my husband would never cheat on me." Tracy and Sarah react to y…

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68. Holiday Cheater Stories 41:10

6M ago41:10

41:10

It's time again for your holiday cheater stories. The terrible gifts, the discoveries, the yuletide double lives... Tracy and Sarah react to your FW tales. Go into the new year knowing -- you are so much better off without these freaks in your life.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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67. The Unknowing Other Woman and Her Child 19:53

6M ago19:53

19:53

A listener calls in to discuss being an unknowing Other Woman. Her cheater had three other families, as it turns out, including her child. She asks for understanding for those in complicated family situations. Children of cheaters are victims too.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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66. Gender Bias in Family Court: An Interview with Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko 42:51

6M ago42:51

42:51

In this interview with therapist Dr. Christine Cocchiola and investigative journalist Amy Polacko we discuss gender bias in family court. Both women have experienced domestic violence and in their book Framed, they shared the stories of women whose abusers weaponized the legal system against them in divorce and custody fights. Cocchiola and Polacko…

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65. The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards: An Interview with Jessica Waite 44:24

6M ago44:24

44:24

After Jessica Waite's husband suddenly died of a heart attack, she discovered the extent of his double life -- long-term affairs, prostitutes, debt and drug use. In her memoir, "The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards" she describes how she survived this devastating betrayal, came to terms with her late husband's memory, raised their son alone, and rebu…

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64. 10 Ways to Cope When Jerks Win 18:20

6M ago18:20

18:20

Tracy, as Chump Lady, has made quite a study of overcoming oppressive jerks. In this recorded pep talk, she expands on a recent blog post she wrote on how to eat the shit sandwich of injustice and keep on going.By Tracy Schorn

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63. What Did You Replace Your Cheater With? 28:54

7M ago28:54

28:54

A woman writes to say she swapped her cheating husband for a Roomba. Her new appliance vacuums, never gaslights her, and comes back to its home port every night. We asked: What did you replace your cheater with? We've got upgrades of every kind. And cats. A lot of cats.By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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62. How Did You Discover the Cheating? 50:13

7M ago50:13

50:13

Listeners discuss how they discovered their partners were cheating. From putting spy apps on a phone, to the idiot who forgot the Ring camera was recording, to the cheater who inadvertently alerted the private investigator to what car his Schmoopie drives. Sarah and Tracy react to the cheater hijinks and how cheaters underestimate their chumps.…

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61. 'Cheating Is Abuse,' An Interview with Nell Hudson 1:01:33

7M ago1:01:33

1:01:33

Tracy talks with writer and actress Nell Hudson about her eight-year relationship with a man who had a double life -- which she discovered on their anniversary. What he excused as another woman's infatuation with him, turned out to be an entire history of serial cheating with multiple partners. Tracy and Nell discuss the cultural narratives around …

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60. What If You Can't Escape the Affair Partner? 24:03

8M ago24:03

24:03

In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to a letter from a woman who lives in the same small town as her ex and the affair partner -- her former friend. Worse, she has to interact with this person at her job. What's the answer? Move away or learn how to coexist? We also hear from two listeners, one with a red flag story on lying, and a mighty single…

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59. Red Flags of Cheating 37:59

8M ago37:59

37:59

The furtive bathroom visits with the cell phone, strange moods, and bizzare accusations that you're cheating -- in this episode we look at all the red flags that you're with a cheater. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you look back, what were the signs?By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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58. Did Anyone Get Pregnant During the Affair? 30:25

8M ago30:25

30:25

In this episode, we discuss the intersection of pregnancy and infidelity. The mistresses who got pregnant. The chumps who got cheated on while pregnant, or going through fertility treatments. The guy chumps who had to paternity test their kids. The "OMG I think I'm pregnant" Hail Mary play by mistresses to win the pick me dance. How children of aff…

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57. Who Else Did You Lose in the Divorce/Breakup? 39:18

8M ago39:18

39:18

When you lost a cheater, who else did you lose in the breakup? People often think infidelity is just a private matter between a couple, and not a larger conspiracy, as it often turns out to be. In the end, you may lose “friends” who were affair partners, those who knew and didn’t tell you, and the Switzerland folks who don’t want to take sides. Lis…

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56. Should You Confront an Affair Partner? 24:46

9M ago24:46

24:46

A woman writes in to Tracy and Sarah after suspecting that her best friend has been cheating with her now ex-husband. This friend has been cagey, unsupportive, and just admitted that she's been a cheater before. The letter writer wants to confront her friend about her behavior, but should she? Would it be better to ghost her instead? Or let it blow…

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55. Cheating Tropes and How to Defang Them 20:56

9M ago20:56

20:56

With the recent buzz about Chump Nation in the New Yorker and the Cut, Tracy takes on the haters. Consider it a teaching opportunity. Here's three common infidelity tropes and how to defang them: Bothsiderism (What did you do to make them cheat?); Infidelity is complex (You're a black and white thinker); and Quit Playing the Victim (You're too bitt…

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54. The Walls In Your House Will Sing 53:51

9M ago53:51

53:51

Tracy talks with her 83-year old Aunt Joy about what it was like to divorce a cheater in the 1970s. A time when women couldn't get credit without their husbands' signatures, had no workplace protections, and being a single mother was considered a personal failure. Aunt Joy is famous on the Chump Lady blog for the expression "the walls in your house…

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53. Those Who Didn't 'Stay Together for the Children' 46:03

9M ago46:03

46:03

We hear from listeners who didn't stay together for the children (or weren't able to, because one parent abandoned ship), and who raised children on their own. Despite the single parent doom and gloom warnings, the kids turned out great and homelife is peaceful. If you're in the trenches of single parenting, this episode is for you. Take it from tw…

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52. D-Day Two Months After the Wedding 29:24

9M ago29:24

29:24

She got married two months ago, only to discover her new husband has been cheating with his colleague -- her friend. He wants to go to Italy with the Other Woman to "explore his feelings" and wants her to wait for him. Instead, she moved out and remains heartbroken. "How can someone you love treat you this way?" Tracy and Sarah react to this guy's …

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51. Stupid Things Cheaters Say, Part 2 38:25

10M ago38:25

38:25

So many stupid things cheaters say, it warranted a second podcast of your submissions. The Other Woman who is "rooting" for the chump's marriage. The introspective cheater who sighs, "I just don't know how to love..." The minimization of "Hey, I'm not an axe murderer." All the stupid right here. Again.…

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50. Stupid Things Cheaters Say 31:47

10M ago31:47

31:47

Cheaters say the darndest things. In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your Stupid Sh*t Cheaters Say submissions. The suggestion that you would like the affair partner if you only knew them. The sad sausage bleatings. The cruelty of your consequences. How could you?!By Tracy Schorn, Sarah Gorrell

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49. How Did You Pick Me Dance to Win a Cheater? 33:06

10M ago33:06

33:06

How pretty did you pick me dance to win a cheater? Did you lose weight? Up your sex game? Spend less time with the children? Were you aware you were in a life or death pick me spiral with Schmoopie, or did you sense it? In this episode, Sarah and Tracy react to your pick me dance stories shared on voicemail and social media. (We picked you!)…

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48. Fesshole Cheater Confessions: An Interview with Rob Manuel 1:07:56

11M ago1:07:56

1:07:56

Rob Manuel is the creator of the social media phenomenon FessHole, where people anonymously share their darkest, most mortifying secrets. In this episode, Rob's curated his best cheater (and wannabe cheater) confessions. The dead bedroom cheaters. The woman who wants someone to come clean her house. The guy who wants his partner to cheat on him bec…

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47. A Cheater Asks for Advice 14:20

11M ago14:20

14:20

A self-professed cheater leaves Sarah and Tracy a voicemail asking how he can make amends for being unfaithful. He doesn't wish to reconcile -- they're going to divorce. But how can he rehabilitate his image going forward as co-parents. Tracy offers some thoughts on how to kick the entitlement habit and Sarah provides the sobering, yet friendly, cy…

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46. Liars: An Interview with Sarah Manguso 50:58

11M ago50:58

50:58

Sarah Manguso has written the ultimate chump novel: Liars. Jane is a woman who endures marriage to, and divorce from, a textbook fuckwit. It dramatizes marital betrayal, narcissistic abuse, and coercive control in a way we all know deep in our bones. Manguso says, "It’s a novel, so of course it’s all fiction—except for the parts that are true." Dur…

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45. I Should've Left When... 43:02

11M ago43:02

43:02

Was there a moment in your relationship, before you knew about the cheating, in which you look back and regret not leaving then? In this episode, listeners answer that question. The casual cruelities. The weird absences. The disconnect from family life. And the double lives that are later revealed that make sense of it all.…

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44. "It's Not the Sex, It's the Deception" - The Untold Stories of the Ashley Madison Documentary 1:22:06

12M ago1:22:06

1:22:06

Jake and Christine saw an announcement on the Chump Lady site for people who were impacted by the Ashely Madison hack scandal. The were both filmed for the Netflix documentary, but their stories of leaving cheaters and overcoming betrayal were not included. Jake's wife had multiple affairs on the site, and he found out when one of the affair partne…

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43. Sarah's Take on the Ashley Madison Netflix Documentary 38:18

12M ago38:18

38:18

Following up from last week's episode, Sarah weighs in on her observations (and revulsions) on the Ashley Madison Neflix series. Is it possible this many serial cheaters exist? Does that guy in the pink flamingo shirt sunning himself by the poolside have any conscience? Is Noel Biderman's wife a chump or an accomplice? It's a deep vein of snark and…

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42. What the Ashley Madison Netflix Document Gets Wrong 29:15

12M ago29:15

29:15

The new Netflix docuseries on the Ashley Madison hack purports to look at the complexities around infidelity. Instead, it's the same old message about reconciliaton and not judging cheaters for their sexuality. Deception -- as experienced by chumps, not Noel Biderman -- is left out of the discussion. Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady, riffs on the chara…

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41. What Did They Do For the Affair Partner That They Didn't Do for You? 31:58

1y ago31:58

31:58

In this episode we discuss how cheaters devalue their partners while simulataneously love bombing their affair partners. Listeners share stories of what their cheaters did for Schmoopies, but not them or their children. From little gestures like cooking dinner or holding hands, to outrageous injustices like stiffing your kids thousands in back chil…

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40. Worst Cheater Gifts 34:57

1y ago34:57

34:57

A discounted chocolate Easter egg for a 13-year-old's birthday... weeks past Easter. American-flag themed polar fleece. The same gift the Other Woman got, only in the wrong size. In this episode Tracy and Sarah lampoon the Worst Cheater Gifts. Narcissists aren't known for their gift giving, as demonstrated by listeners' submissions of the most thou…

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39. Cheated On and Stranded Overseas: The Expat Chump Experience 42:46

1y ago42:46

42:46

Comedian Kat moved to the UK for love over 20 years ago. Then her husband left her for his old girlfriend -- who she thought was a family friend. The kids all go to school together. Now she's divorced and stuck in her adopted home country and can't leave because of the divorce and co-parenting arrangement. And she sees the Other Woman every time sh…

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