Forgiveness Isn't Forgetting. It's Freedom!
Manage episode 490966347 series 3536889
Ever held onto a grudge only to realize it was weighing you down more than the person who hurt you? In this illuminating conversation with our friend Deanna, a certified faith-based counselor, we unpack what forgiveness truly means and why it's critical for our emotional health.
Forgiveness isn't about pretending nothing happened. As Deanna explains, it's making "a commitment to no longer hold the offender to a standard of moral liability before you." In other words, it's letting them off YOUR hook of justice – not eliminating consequences altogether. This distinction completely changed our understanding of what it means to forgive.
The cost of unforgiveness is steep. Deanna walks us through the emotional ladder we climb when we refuse to forgive: from hurt to anger to resentment to bitterness and finally to hatred. Meanwhile, the person who wronged us is often "tripping through the tulips," completely unaffected by our internal turmoil. When we grasp this reality, forgiveness becomes an act of self-liberation rather than a gift to the offender.
We tackle tough questions you've probably wrestled with: Should we forgive people who don't think they've done anything wrong? Is "forgive and forget" actually possible? How do you forgive someone who's no longer in your life? And how does setting boundaries play into the forgiveness process? Deanna's insights on these questions are both practical and profound.
Whether you're struggling to forgive someone who deeply hurt you, wondering if you should reconcile after betrayal, or simply curious about what healthy forgiveness really looks like, this conversation offers a roadmap for moving forward. As Deanna reminds us, "Forgiveness is worth it. Forgiveness is necessary. All relationships flourish with it."
Amy, Kitty & Stacey
P.S. Isn't our intro music great?! Yah, we think so too. Thank you, Ivy States for "I Got That Wow".
Chapters
1. Episode Introduction (00:00:00)
2. What Forgiveness Is and Why It Matters (00:02:26)
3. The Costs of Unforgiveness (00:08:44)
4. Prerequisites for True Forgiveness (00:14:30)
5. Forgiveness vs Consequences (00:19:14)
6. Forgiving When Relationships End (00:23:20)
7. Setting Boundaries After Forgiveness (00:42:54)
8. Final Thoughts and Conclusion (00:53:14)
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