142. Get Over Your Het Lag

A Jaded Gay

Het lag is a humorous term for the exhaustion and disorientation queer people experience after prolonged exposure to exclusively straight environments. While the term is lighthearted, it speaks to the very real psychological toll of minority stress—the mental and emotional burden of navigating predominantly heterosexual spaces, code-switching, and enduring heterosexism.
In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of minority stress, exploring its impact on our well-being, and discussing how building community can help alleviate its physical and emotional effects.

Related Episodes:

• Listen to Episode 08. Finding Your Community
• Listen to Episode 11. Overcoming Internalized Homophobia
• Listen to Episode 26. Gay & Anxious
• Listen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Gays
• Listen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-Switching
• Listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight Jacket
• Listen to Episode 135. Don't Be A Mean Gay

Additional Resources:

• Finding Your Community: Navigating LGBTQ+ Friendships Beyond the Party Scene
• Unpacking Internalized Homophobia: A Deeper Look at Self-Directed Negativity
• Anxiety in Gay Men: Understanding Unique Challenges and Effective Coping Strategies
• Het-Lag (Reddit)
• Het Lag (Twitter)
• Minority Stress
• Trauma, Minority Stress, and Disproportionate Health Burden Among LGBTQ+ People
• Minority Stress Theory: Application, Critique, and Continued Relevance
• Minority Stress and LGBTQ+ Patients’ Mental Health
• LGBTQ+ Mental Health and the Role of Minority Stress
• Social Isolation and Connectedness as Determinants of Well-Being: Global Evidence Mapping Focused on LGBTQ Youth
• The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness

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Chapters

1. Snarky Opener (00:00:00)

2. Episode Introduction (00:00:24)

3. Het Lag (00:01:52)

4. Tarot (00:03:09)

5. What is Het Lag? (00:04:55)

6. Minority Stress and Gay Men (00:06:00)

7. Minority Stress & Isolation (00:10:26)

8. Combatting Minority Stress (00:12:42)

9. Episode Closing (00:15:16)

10. Connect with A Jaded Gay (00:18:02)

11. Outtake (00:20:27)