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Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy: Avoidant attachment, Emotional Safety & Real Connection w/ Paul Gilmartin
Manage episode 499970028 series 2984077
When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.
Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.
Key Takeaways
- Why Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.
- Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.
- Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.
- Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.
- Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”
- When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.
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- Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat
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How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 Brians
THE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult Child
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www.instagram.com/adultchildpod
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399 episodes
Manage episode 499970028 series 2984077
When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.
Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.
Key Takeaways
- Why Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.
- Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.
- Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.
- Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.
- Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”
- When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.
⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️
- 4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)
- Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat
SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER
👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱
www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild
www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop
🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️
How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 Brians
THE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult Child
Follow Andrea on social
www.instagram.com/adultchildpod
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
399 episodes
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