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Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy: Avoidant attachment, Emotional Safety & Real Connection w/ Paul Gilmartin

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Content provided by Andrea. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Andrea or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.

Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.

Key Takeaways

  • Why Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.
  • Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.
  • Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.
  • Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.
  • Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”
  • When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️

https://theshitshow.mn.co

  • 4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)
  • Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat

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www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop

🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️

How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 Brians

THE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult Child

Follow Andrea on social

www.instagram.com/adultchildpod

www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  continue reading

399 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 499970028 series 2984077
Content provided by Andrea. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Andrea or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.

Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.

Key Takeaways

  • Why Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.
  • Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.
  • Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.
  • Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.
  • Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”
  • When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️

https://theshitshow.mn.co

  • 4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)
  • Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat

SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER

👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱

www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild

🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️

www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop

🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️

How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 Brians

THE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult Child

Follow Andrea on social

www.instagram.com/adultchildpod

www.tiktok.com/@adultchildpod


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
  continue reading

399 episodes

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