How Should Parents Navigate Addiction With Biblical Wisdom?

Ask Dr. E

Q: A few years ago, a dear friend and his wife (mid 70’s), lost an adult son to a drug overdose. Upon that death, another son (early 50’s) confessed to his parents that he, too, was an addict. Since then, the older son has been in and out of drug rehab and has also been incarcerated several times for drug offenses. At the end of their rope, both financially and emotionally, they have given the older son a deadline to be out of the house. While in agreement and at peace (somewhat) with this decision, he and his wife are struggling with the “what if’s”. Any wisdom and/or resources that you can share on how these parents can navigate this journey would be greatly appreciated. They are believers.

Summary

In this conversation, Dr. E reflects on the painful tension between loving and enabling, offering hard-earned wisdom. Addiction wreaks havoc on families. The deception, manipulation, and endless cycle of rehab and relapse can leave even the most committed parents worn thin. The key question becomes: are we actually helping this child take responsibility, or are we preventing that growth by cushioning the consequences?

Dr. E urges parents to lock arms in unity, prepare for difficult emotions, and remember that unconditional love doesn’t mean underwriting sin. Sometimes love means saying, “I’ll help you when you’re ready—but I will no longer enable you.” While there may not be easy answers, there is a path to navigating addiction with Biblical wisdom—even when it looks like letting go.

Takeaways:

• Addiction affects not just the individual but the entire family.
• It's crucial to differentiate between helping and enabling an addict.
• Setting boundaries is essential for the well-being of the family.
• Tough love may be necessary to encourage recovery.
• Support from others who understand the situation is invaluable.
• Parents should prepare for emotional fallout when making tough decisions.
• Resources for addiction recovery are available and should be utilized.
• Recovery often involves multiple attempts and setbacks.
• Unconditional love does not mean supporting destructive behaviors.

Links Mentioned:

Focus on the Family’s Drug & Addiction Resources

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