Peter Dutton to repeal CO2 penalties on new cars if we elect him - allegedly

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Chrome-domed Pierre Potato-Trump making news , claiming by way of leak to The ‘Strayan newspaper … that the PM, Mr Albo-sneezy, has it wrong on new vehicle CO2 policy, which is apparently set to drive new car prices sky high without a good, old-fashioned Coalition watering-down.

Elmer Fudd giveth; and Spuman taketh away. Thus restoring harmony to the universe, which he was put here to do, obviously.

So, if you can believe anything in the ‘Strayan, Mr Potato-Trump, will retain Labor’s New Vehicle Efficiency scheme, but without the fines for carmakers which overstep mandated CO2 limits.

Those CO2 fines were supposed to kick in on July 1, but if Captain Potato-Trump moves into the lodge, we’ll just get Emissions Wank Lite, which is kinda like skim milk, or a dominatrix without a riding crop.

The core issue about Labor’s New Bullshit Emissions Wank Scheme is that Labor says it’ll drive down the cost of new cars, and the cost of operating them. And stop Australia being a dumping ground for filthy, polluting vehicles. Not that there’s any evidence that any of this this is the case.

If Chris Bowen says it, it’s good enough for me, obviously.

But Fritte-man disagrees, and (oddly) I’m with him on this one.

It won’t do either of those things. The most popular cars in the country will increase in price. Because we love our utes. Because carmakers will be fined for selling them to us. Because they will breach ever-tightening CO2 standards. Because carmakers will pass those costs - the fines / stealth ute tax - on to you and me.

This is a fairly simple dot-joining sequence. Even an economist could do it.

Labor’s policy is nothing but a Greens-appeasing stealth tax on utes and 4x4s. Correction: another Greens-appeasing stealth tax. And also one of Labor’s favourite tricks - social engineering. Divisive bastards.

Telling you what car to buy … without actually telling you. What they’re doing is making your dual-cab ute, or other 4x4 you want, more expensive, in the hope you’ll buy some piece of shit whitegoods on wheels instead, hopefully with a dirty big lithium battery inside, instead of an engine.