251 Dr. Ellen Hendriksen on the Science-Backed Way to End Perfectionism Without Lowering Your Standards

Behind the Brilliance

THE SHOW

In this episode of Behind the Brilliance, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Enough, joins the show to explore the nuances of perfectionism—from its seductive productivity perks to its hidden emotional costs. She shares her own journey from high-achieving student to recovering perfectionist, breaks down the psychology of procrastination and emotional suppression, and offers practical strategies for redefining self-worth, navigating achievement hangovers, and aligning with intrinsic values. The conversation also touches on the loneliness epidemic, community building, and how shifting from "have to" to "choose to" can transform how we show up in our lives.

Behind her Brilliance: Investing in what connects us to others instead of what sets us apart

TOPICS COVERED

Why pivoting early (or late) is worth it

A new definition of perfectionism—and why it’s a trap

The two pillars of maladaptive perfectionism: overvaluation and rigid standards

The myth of emotional perfectionism

Rules vs. values (and how rules often masquerade as values)

Demand sensitivity and the burden of internal expectations

The achievement hangover: chasing the next milestone without fulfillment

The difference between goals and values

Procrastination as anxiety in disguise

Visualizing your future self to beat avoidance

Practical tools to embrace imperfection and act anyway

Community, connection, and healing the loneliness epidemic

The value of empathy in creative and professional work