Befriending the Bully Within: Perfectionism with Dr. Tara Cousineau

Bipolar She

At age thirty-two, Tara Cousineau, PhD, had it all. But when a mysterious illness disrupted her life, her doctors blamed it on stress. Knowing something else was at play she searched until she discovered a pinched nerve that was indeed a physical ailment, but also exacerbated by stress.

Looking inward and discovering her own perfectionistic tendencies, Tara knew she wanted to help high achievers prevent burnout and illness. As a therapist, she set out on a path to improve the mental health of others and to educate those striving for excellence at all costs.

In this episode we learn Tara's working definition of perfectionism and how it can have a severe impact on one's quality of life.

Today, Tara works with students at Harvard University and she leads groups on Befriending the Inner Critic and Overcoming Perfectionism through Self-Compassion. She breaks down the parts of ourselves--that self-talk that includes the inner judge, inner bully, inner detective, and the inner joy thief.

She offers insight on how procrastination is linked to perfectionism, how perfectionism has a 40% genetic cause, and how internal family systems can be a breakthrough treatment for many--and how recovery begins by simply learning to sit in one's body, take inventory, and begin to feel.
Tara's The Perfectionist Dilemma, shares research and practical tools for striving for excellence with room for discovery, curiosity, and healthy mistakes along the way.

Listeners can find Dr. Tara’s book, The Perfectionist's Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever, at online book retailers and access to free Happy Achiever tools at https://perfectionistsdilemma.com.

They can also find more in "The Peaceful Perfectionist" Substack, https://taracousphd.substack.com

Write With Janine for Better Mental Health Begins July 17 on Zoom

Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum
Recorded at Modern Tone Studios the highest ranked recording studio in the San Francisco East Bay.
Inspired to write and looking for guidance? Diablo Writers' Workshop offers classes, workshops and editorial services.

Chapters

1. Introduction to Perfectionism Dilemma (00:00:00)

2. Personal Mental Health Crisis Story (00:02:10)

3. Understanding Types of Perfectionism (00:06:01)

4. The Internal Critical Voices (00:11:32)

5. Treating Perfectionism with Self-Compassion (00:17:22)

6. Practical Tools for Change (00:22:43)

7. Closing Thoughts and Podcast Outro (00:27:05)