The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide
Manage episode 486543772 series 3430082
Julia Mayer, a clinical psychologist, shares her extensive caregiving journey spanning nine years, which involved caring for her father after her mother's unexpected passing and then supporting her husband Barry's mother, Jean, and stepfather, Steve. After her mother died during a heart surgery recovery, Julia and her siblings stepped in to care for their father, with her older brother taking the primary caregiver role while Julia provided weekend relief. Her father passed away about 15 months after her mother, and shortly after, they became involved in caring for Barry's parents, who were experiencing financial difficulties.
Julia and Barry relocated Jean and Steve from Florida to an apartment near them, managing their care through the use of aides, a notebook system, and personal visits. Despite Jean's combative nature and strained relationship with Barry, Julia approached caregiving with compassion, patience, and a sense of humor. Her professional background as a psychologist helped her maintain emotional distance and communicate effectively, often serving as a mediator between Jean and Barry. She focused on preserving her family relationships through open communication and involving her children in the caregiving process.
Throughout their caregiving experience, Julia and Barry collaborated closely, supporting each other emotionally and eventually turning their experiences into professional resources. They are set to publish "The Caregiver's Answer Book" with AARP in July 2025, providing comprehensive guidance for caregivers in various situations. Julia's approach to caregiving emphasizes three key principles: not taking the care recipient's suffering personally, maintaining empathy and compassion, and seeking support for oneself during the challenging caregiving journey.
Social Media
Facebook: @Julia Mayer
X: @JuliaLMayer23
Instagram: Julmayer23
LinkedIn: @Julie Mayer
Website: www.loveandmeaning.com
About Julia:
Julia L. Mayer, Psy.D is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Media, PA. She received her bachelor’s degree from the University of Pennsylvania and her doctorate in clinical psychology from Widener University. Prior to becoming a psychologist, she wrote plays and interned as an assistant to the director for a theater company in New York. She has published professionally in the APA journal, Families, Systems & Health. She also co-authored various articles with her husband, Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D., for WebMD and HealthCentral. She has been doing individual and marital therapy for 31 years, specializing in working with women who have histories of sexual trauma, eating disorders and troubled marriages. She has increasingly focused her work on supporting caregivers. Since 2018, she has been doing a weekly podcast about psychology and social justice, called Shrinks on Third. For nine years, she was a caregiver for her father with vascular dementia and
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