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Ep #158 The #1 Emotional State That Transforms Your Parenting (It's Not Calm)
Manage episode 488261020 series 3515194
Your child just slammed their door (again), and every parenting book on your shelf is screaming "CONSEQUENCE!" But what if the secret to cooperation isn't control—it's curiosity?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
The Paradigm Shift
- You're not a sculptor designing your child—you're a shepherd guiding them
- Kids have 400+ psychological traits influenced by genetics (mind = blown 🤯)
- Togetherness is to kids what oxygen is to a flame
Why Curiosity Changes Everything
- Interrupts your autopilot reactions
- Lowers defenses (yours AND theirs)
- Creates the safety where real growth happens
- "You only listen to people you trust"
The Pause-Wonder-Connect Formula Real scripts for when:
- Your kid hits their sibling
- They lie to your face
- They won't listen after the 17th request
What This Is NOT:
- ❌ Becoming a doormat
- ❌ Having no boundaries
- ✅ Holding limits with warmth
- ✅ Stopping behavior while staying curious
Real Stories That Will Give You Chills:
- The water bottle incident that led to breakthrough healing
- The 8-year-old who said: "Don't they know we don't do timeouts? You just hold my hand and listen... and then I want to do what you say."
Age-Specific Scripts:
- Toddler meltdowns at Target
- School-age homework battles
- Teen eye-rolls and door slams
Journal Prompts to Try This Week:
- When do I feel the urge to fix instead of understand?
- Which behaviors trigger me most? What might that say about MY nervous system?
- What's one phrase from today I can try this week?
Challenge: Pick ONE moment this week to pause and ask: "What if nothing's gone wrong here?"
💫 Remember:
- Maturity isn't taught—it's grown
- Your child doesn't need a better lecture, they need a better listener
- Nature doesn't need your control, she needs your trust
Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast
My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs
My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
160 episodes
Manage episode 488261020 series 3515194
Your child just slammed their door (again), and every parenting book on your shelf is screaming "CONSEQUENCE!" But what if the secret to cooperation isn't control—it's curiosity?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
The Paradigm Shift
- You're not a sculptor designing your child—you're a shepherd guiding them
- Kids have 400+ psychological traits influenced by genetics (mind = blown 🤯)
- Togetherness is to kids what oxygen is to a flame
Why Curiosity Changes Everything
- Interrupts your autopilot reactions
- Lowers defenses (yours AND theirs)
- Creates the safety where real growth happens
- "You only listen to people you trust"
The Pause-Wonder-Connect Formula Real scripts for when:
- Your kid hits their sibling
- They lie to your face
- They won't listen after the 17th request
What This Is NOT:
- ❌ Becoming a doormat
- ❌ Having no boundaries
- ✅ Holding limits with warmth
- ✅ Stopping behavior while staying curious
Real Stories That Will Give You Chills:
- The water bottle incident that led to breakthrough healing
- The 8-year-old who said: "Don't they know we don't do timeouts? You just hold my hand and listen... and then I want to do what you say."
Age-Specific Scripts:
- Toddler meltdowns at Target
- School-age homework battles
- Teen eye-rolls and door slams
Journal Prompts to Try This Week:
- When do I feel the urge to fix instead of understand?
- Which behaviors trigger me most? What might that say about MY nervous system?
- What's one phrase from today I can try this week?
Challenge: Pick ONE moment this week to pause and ask: "What if nothing's gone wrong here?"
💫 Remember:
- Maturity isn't taught—it's grown
- Your child doesn't need a better lecture, they need a better listener
- Nature doesn't need your control, she needs your trust
Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast
My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs
My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
160 episodes
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