1059-Overcoming the scars of ACEs and parental alienation

Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipes

Parental Alienation Defined

• Parental alienation is not abandonment or protecting a child from abuse; it is a form of psychological abuse.
• It involves a deliberate campaign of denigration, brainwashing, and manipulation of the child to reject the other parent.

Alienating Behaviors

• Alienation occurs when one parent actively manipulates a child against the other parent, which can be unconscious or conscious.
• These behaviors involve brainwashing, manipulating, or lying to the child, often supported by family members or other influential figures in the child’s life.

The Impact on Children

• Parental alienation disrupts children’s primary attachment bonds, causing deep psychological harm.
• Children may develop symptoms like Stockholm syndrome, where they begin to rationalize the alienating parent’s behavior and vilify the targeted parent.

Alienation as an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE)

• Parental alienation is considered psychological abuse, one of the categories of ACEs.
• It often coexists with other forms of trauma, such as witnessing abuse of the targeted parent, resulting in compounded trauma.

Long-term Psychological and Physical Effects

• The chronic stress of alienation can lead to developmental delays, emotional dysregulation, autoimmune issues, and sleep disturbances.
• Alienated children often exhibit hypervigilance, impulsivity, and distorted thinking patterns, which affect their relationships and behavior in adulthood.

Types of Alienating Parents

• Alienating parents may have their own psychological issues, including codependency, narcissistic tendencies, antisocial traits, or borderline personality disorder.
• They often manipulate children out of their fear of rejection, unresolved trauma, or a need to control.

Interventions for Healing

• Interventions include creating a sense of safety for the child, addressing internalized negative beliefs, and helping the child develop secure attachments.
• Therapy should focus on grieving the loss of the parental relationship and addressing guilt from the manipulation.

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