DA387 | The Ripple Effect of Fatherhood, Saying "I'm Sorry," and Going Upstream in Conflict (Ken Sande PART 1)

DadAwesome

✅ The Seven A's of confession (and why "I'm sorry" isn't enough for deep healing)

✅ How to break the cycle of emotionally stunted men in your family line

✅ The 6-second technique that can save your marriage and your relationships with your kids

✅ Why going "upstream" is better than constantly putting out fires

FULL SHOW NOTES > SUMMARY:

What if the reason marriages grow cold after the honeymoon year isn't about compatibility, but about something dads never learned to model? In this episode, Ken Sande reveals how emotionally stunted men are created when fathers never show their kids how to say "I'm sorry" or "I need help." You'll discover the Seven A's of confession that can break generational patterns and the upstream approach to preventing conflict before it starts. Plus, Ken shares practical tools for managing your emotions in the heat of the moment—including the six-second technique that can save your tongue from doing damage.

Key Takeaways:

• More people are watching your responses to conflict than you realize—about 10 times more—and you're teaching through your reactions.
• The Seven A's of confession provide a framework for meaningful apologies that actually heal relationships rather than just checking a box.
• Emotional stunting passes from generation to generation when fathers never model humility, confession, or asking for help.
• The READ technique (Recognize, Evaluate, Anticipate, Direct) helps you manage amygdala hijacking and respond thoughtfully instead of reactively.
• Going "upstream" to prevent conflict through relational wisdom is more effective than constantly putting out the fires of broken relationships.
• Your royal identity as a child of God, friend of Jesus, and ambassador of reconciliation should shape how you lead your family 24/7.

Guest:

Ken Sande founded Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360, organizations focused on conflict resolution and relationship skills. After 30 years of mediating conflicts—including over 600 divorce cases with more than half reconciling—Ken shifted focus to go "upstream" and help people prevent conflict through biblical emotional intelligence. He's the author of multiple books on peacemaking and relational wisdom, and lives in Billings, Montana, where he enjoys hiking and backpacking with his family and grandchildren.

Links Mentioned:

• Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome
• Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort
• Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to [phone]
• Young Peacemaker Curriculum (The 5 A's for Kids)
• Discovering Relational Wisdom Online Course
• Relational Peacemaking Course
• Relational Wisdom 360 (RW360.org)
• Peacemaker Ministries resources
• Six Skills That Help Every Relationship
• Three Qualities Blog