Moving Beyond Beautiful: Helping Kids See Themselves Differently [Parental Guidance Ep. 3]

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

“You don’t let other people tell you what beautiful is.”
In this heartfelt episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie Coulson reflect on the powerful lessons from Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 3, exploring body image, self-worth, and how parents can shape their children’s relationship with their bodies—for better or worse. With vulnerable personal stories and actionable advice, they discuss how to shift the focus from looks to function, joy, and character.

KEY POINTS:

• Parents’ comments and attitudes about bodies deeply influence their children’s self-image.
• Many women carry lasting scars from childhood comments about their weight or looks.
• Society promotes a narrow and unhealthy definition of “beautiful.”
• Teach children to focus on what their bodies can do, not just how they look.
• Affirm children’s inner qualities and character as “beautiful” rather than only appearance.
• Complimenting children should be consistent and not dependent on clothing, makeup, or occasions.
• Body image distortion is common and can start young; words and modelling matter.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty. Instead, emphasise functionality, emphasise finding joy, and focus on what you can do, not what you look like. More than anything, remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look." — Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk by Justin Coulson
• Karen Young & Hey Sigmund — resources supporting children’s mental health and self-worth
• Parental Guidance Season 3
• Pixel Perfect [Webinar]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Reflect on your own language and attitudes about bodies—what messages are you passing on?
2. Focus compliments on your child’s inner qualities and abilities, not just their looks.
3. Emphasise the functionality and strength of your child’s body (“Look how strong your legs are!”) rather than its appearance.
4. Avoid shaming or criticising children’s food choices or weight.
5. Let your child know they are always beautiful to you, regardless of what they’re wearing or how they look.

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