#1281 - The 4 Layers of Resilience, With Tim Curtis

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What if stress isn’t the enemy… but the training ground?

In this sneak peek of our powerful conversation with former SAS soldier and leadership expert Tim Curtis, we unpack the real role of stress in our lives—and how it can actually help our kids grow. Tim reveals the four essential layers of resilience every child (and adult) needs to thrive—and the surprisingly simple shifts that build strength from the inside out.

This episode will change the way you see stress—and empower you to raise kids who can do hard things.

KEY POINTS:

• Stress is not always bad – the right amount (as explained by the Yerkes-Dodson Law) boosts performance and growth.
• Avoidance reinforces anxiety – but action activates growth.
• Emotions are signals, not enemies – they give us guidance if we listen.
• The 4 Layers of Resilience:
1. Mind – mindset, mindfulness, meditation
2. Body – sleep, diet, exercise
3. Social – support systems and connection
4. Professional – competence, confidence, contribution (including parenting as a profession)
• Building resilience is less about shielding kids and more about supporting them as they stretch and grow.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"There’s no triumph without trial."
– Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Tim Curtis’s upcoming book: Building Resilient Kids
• Yerkes-Dodson Law (on stress and performance)
• Happy Families resources: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Normalise stress – Talk to your kids about stress as something useful, not something to avoid.
2. Teach emotion awareness – Help your child understand emotions as helpful signals.
3. Strengthen all four layers – Encourage routines that support body, mind, relationships, and purpose.
4. Model resilience – Let your kids see you navigating difficulty with action, not avoidance.
5. Lean into the hard stuff – Gently support your child through challenges instead of rescuing them from discomfort.

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