#1284 - Building & Strengthening Resilience With Tim Curtis

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Are we making life too easy for our kids? In a world where we rush to remove every obstacle from our children’s paths, we may be unintentionally robbing them of the very thing they need most—resilience.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Justin Coulson is joined by Tim Curtis—former SAS Commander, humanitarian, and author of Building Resilient Kids. From war zones to raising teens, Tim’s lived experience offers extraordinary insights into how resilience is truly built. Together, they unpack why a little stress is good, why failure matters, and the foundational layers that make kids bounce back stronger. This is the resilience masterclass every parent needs.

KEY POINTS:

• Resilience isn’t fixed; it can be built.
• The Resilience Shield Model: Six layers—Innate, Mind, Body, Social, Professional, and Adaptation.
• Stress is essential—but it needs to be the right amount.
• Overprotective parenting harms resilience—kids need to struggle to grow.
• The power of strong family connections as the cornerstone of resilience.
• Practical stories from war zones, camps, and families that highlight resilience in action.
• How parents can role model resilience every day (including how we handle bad drivers and broken sinks!).
• Why rest and recovery are crucial parts of resilience—not signs of failure.
• The difference between resilience, willpower, and grit.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Resilience varies by degree, not by kind. The stress in your child’s life is real to them—and they need it to grow.” – Tim Curtis

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Book: Building Resilient Kids by Tim Curtis (out July 1)
• Podcast: The Unforgiving Sixty
• Podcast: Building Resilient Kids (Tim’s companion podcast to the book)
• Resilience Shield Model – Research-backed framework
• Jill Bolte Taylor on emotions passing in 90 seconds
• Research by Carol Dweck (Growth Mindset) and Angela Duckworth (Grit)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Model resilience. Let your kids see you handle stress, setbacks, and failure with grace and recovery.
2. Let them fail—safely. Small failures help kids build the coping mechanisms they’ll need later in life.
3. Prioritise the basics: Sleep, nutrition, exercise, and social connection—these are resilience superpowers.
4. Let them sit with discomfort. Don’t rush to fix every negative emotion. Let them learn that emotions pass.
5. Talk about effort, not outcomes. Celebrate trying, learning, and persisting more than trophies or grades.

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