How to Talk to Your Children about Divorce

Ex-it Strategy

Guest: LINDSEY OHLER, PSY.D.

1. Introduction:
   Hosts Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink from New Direction Family Law invite Dr. Lindsay Ohler to discuss a critical topic - how to approach the conversation about separation and divorce with children.
2. The Emotional Impact of Divorce on Children:
   Dr. Ohler emphasizes the profound emotional effects of divorce on children, comparing the experience to grief. She highlights the need for care and gentleness while discussing separation with children, regardless of age.
3. The Perceptive Nature of Children:
   Discussing how even if parents try to shield their children from their disputes, children are intuitive and often sense that something is wrong.
4. Breaking the News as a United Front:
   Dr. Ohler recommends both parents be present when informing children about the divorce. This provides a united front and reassures the child.
5. Approaching Different Age Groups:
   The conversation varies based on the child's age. For a two-year-old, keep the explanation simple. For older kids, explain the logistics of the new living arrangements without delving into the details of the separation.
6. Creating Comfort in New Spaces:
   Encourage children to participate in creating their new spaces in separate homes. This could include choosing room colors or selecting mementos from their previous home.
7. Discussing Divorce with Teenagers:
   Teenagers, who tend to pick sides, balance their time with parents and friends. Parents must maintain control of their emotions during the conversation, provide reassurance, and refrain from oversharing details of the divorce.
8. Protecting Sensitive Information:
   Parents must secure any divorce-related documents (both hard copies and electronic) to prevent their children from stumbling upon them and causing potential distress.
9. Effect on Adult Children:
   Even adult children might struggle with their parent's divorce, questioning their relationships and family identity.
10. Therapy for Children:
    Therapy could benefit children as young as three, helping them navigate the emotional turbulence during a divorce.

Stay tuned for more episodes as we navigate the complexities of family law together.