31. “I Have to Work Twice as Hard to Get Ahead” How to Notice Invisible Beliefs That Hold You Back

Expand and Impact

Ever feel like you’re constantly pushing forward but never quite feeling at ease? In this episode, Violetta dives deep into the topic of stress—not as a badge of honor, but as a sign we might be out of alignment with what truly matters. She kicks things off by exploring how stress shows up in our lives: racing thoughts, tightness in the body, and a tendency to overcommit. It’s not who we are, but a symptom of something deeper.

Jessica Bowser joins the conversation, sharing her journey of navigating burnout in both academia and the corporate world. As someone who always felt the need to "work twice as hard" due to internalized pressures and her biracial identity, Jessica talks openly about how this belief led her down the path of exhaustion. Together, they dig into:

• Reframing Stress: Seeing stress as a signal to check in with yourself, not a mark of ambition.

• Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs: Jessica’s insights on letting go of the pressure to be perfect and why that’s been key to her healing.

• Finding Ease in the Process: The importance of slowing down, taking a breath, and making space for what feels true.

• The Power of Enjoying the Journey: Jessica shares how she shifted her focus from constant striving to finding joy in the everyday moments.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Stress as an Alarm Clock: How to recognize when your stress might be a sign to realign your actions with your values.

• Challenging the High Achiever’s Mindset: Tips for releasing the need to prove yourself through overwork.

• Rediscovering Yourself: The power of slowing down to connect with who you are, beyond the expectations.

• Community and Connection: How surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you feel seen and heard.

Key Takeaways:

• Stress can be a helpful nudge to pause and realign with what feels right for you.

• Slowing down isn’t a setback—it’s a step towards clarity and fulfillment.

• Questioning limiting beliefs can open up new possibilities for a more authentic, joyful life.

• It’s not just about reaching the destination; it’s about finding joy in the process.

This episode offers a heartfelt, relatable look at how we can shift our relationship with stress and start living in a way that feels more aligned and fulfilling.

Timestamps

0:00 - 2:37 - Introduction to stress and its impact on high-performing women, featuring a personal story from Violetta

2:39 - 9:02 - Exploring common mindsets about stress and the belief that it’s necessary for success

11:34 - 16:18 - Jessica shares her evolving sense of identity and the impact of racial identity on her experiences

18:02 - 23:37 - Discussing burnout and the belief of needing to work twice as hard to be seen as equal

23:38 - 29:33 - Challenging perfectionism and learning the importance of being present with family

33:50 - 38:12 - Addressing limiting beliefs and aligning actions with true personal values

38:13 - 49:02 - Finding career alignment by reconnecting with core values and admitting dissatisfaction

57:13 - 1:00:06 - Shifting perspective from focusing on goals to embracing the journey and learning from setbacks

1:01:25 - 1:04:29 - Jessica reflects on her wellness retreat experience and Violetta wraps up with closing thoughts

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Expand and Impact, LLC - Disclaimer

This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirecty for the use or interpretation of the information presented in