Fighting vs. Violence: What’s the Difference? (w/ Jay O’Shea)

Fighting Matters

In this episode of Fighting Matters, Jeff Shaw (Bellingham BJJ) and Mike Mahaffey (Old Bastard BJJ) welcome special guest Jay O’Shea. Jay is a martial artist, scholar, and the author of Risk, Failure, Play: What Dance Reveals about Martial Arts Training. The team tackles one of the deepest questions in combat sports: what separates fighting from violence?
From the role of consent in Jiu-Jitsu and self-defense, to the rise of fascist fight clubs and the political stakes of play, this conversation explores how martial arts can shape culture far beyond the mat. Along the way, we dig into injuries, toughness, the gift of fear, and why rules and etiquette matter more than we realize.
The takeaway: martial arts aren’t just combat; they’re a practice of play, respect, and democracy.
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👥 Featuring:
Jay O’Shea — https://janetoshea.com/
Jeff Shaw — @JeffShawBJJ
Mike Mahaffey — @OldBastardBJJ
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🧠 Topics We Cover:
• Fighting vs. violence, and why consent makes the difference
• The culture of saying “no” on the mats
• Fear, denial, and the gift of fear in martial arts and politics
• MMA’s fascism problem and the politics of combat sports
• Martial arts as play: rules, etiquette, and respect
• Why collective culture beats hyper-individual heroism
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📖 Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Fighting Matters
01:09 Distinguishing Fighting from Violence
04:20 The Complexity of Consent in Martial Arts
09:41 Normalizing Consent in Training
12:39 The Role of Fear in Martial Arts and Life
20:04 Confronting Denial and Fear in Society
28:15 Fascism and MMA: A Growing Concern
30:20 The Complexity of Combat Sports and Society
33:37 The Rise of Oligarch Masculinity in Martial Arts
36:18 The Fairness of Competition in Sports
41:20 Play, Creativity, and Martial Arts
50:59 The Role of Martial Arts in Combating Authoritarianism