EP 15: The Guilt-Free Dad: Why This Father Makes No Apologies for Pushing His Kids

For Shxtty Moms

What happens when you approach parenting like an investment strategy? In this refreshingly candid conversation, real estate agent Alan Monica pulls back the curtain on fatherhood as a dad of triplets—identical twin girls and a fraternal boy.
Alan brings a unique perspective that many parents might find liberating: complete freedom from parental guilt when pushing his children toward excellence. "Until you turn 18, you have to do this stuff if we tell you to," he explains with a laugh, detailing how he evaluates his children's activities based on their potential long-term benefits rather than immediate enjoyment. This "return on investment" approach led his family to prioritize piano and singing for his daughters over cheerleading, which he viewed as having limited future applications.
The discussion reveals how Alan balances the unpredictable "feast or famine" nature of real estate work with his parenting responsibilities. From navigating school pickup lines to coordinating extracurricular schedules, he shares practical insights on time management that working parents will appreciate. He's refreshingly honest about leaning on his partner Maria, whom he credits as "the backbone" of their family unit.
Perhaps most compelling is Alan's commitment to modeling the behaviors he expects from his children. After receiving concerning health news, he changed his diet and exercise habits, explaining: "I don't want to be the kind of dad that just verbally says it. I want to try my best to show it as well." This authenticity extends to his parenting philosophy: "Go with your gut—what I want to see them doing, what I feel is right, I just try to push it."
Whether you're a mom seeking perspective on co-parenting, a dad looking for solidarity, or anyone interested in a straightforward approach to raising confident, skilled children, Alan's stories will leave you questioning your own parental guilt and considering whether a more decisive approach might benefit your family. Take a listen and reconsider what it means to truly invest in your children's future.

⏰ Chapter Markers ⏰

0:00 - Meet Alan: Real Estate Agent and Father of Triplets

9:05 - The Challenges of Real Estate and Parenthood

20:41 - Parenting Style and Extracurricular Strategy

31:31 - The Return on Investment Approach to Activities

45:28 - Leading by Example and Modeling Behaviors

54:02 - Dealing with Loss and Final Parenting Advice

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Chapters

1. Meet Alan: Real Estate Agent and Father of Triplets (00:00:00)

2. The Challenges of Real Estate and Parenthood (00:09:05)

3. Parenting Style and Extracurricular Strategy (00:20:41)

4. The Return on Investment Approach to Activities (00:31:31)

5. Leading by Example and Modeling Behaviors (00:45:28)

6. Dealing with Loss and Final Parenting Advice (00:54:02)